End of an era :(

I have always been "lucky". Things have usually worked out my way. It probably started way ago in primary school. I was able to join the high school I wanted, later the P.U college I wanted and still later the engineering college I wanted. Though when it came to campus recruitment, I badly wanted to get into Infosys, but didn't and was a bit disappointed then. But again, I got into a pretty good company. Again when I joined, I was to be posted to another city. But it again worked out and I was able to continue to work in Bangalore.

When I got married and later Sri was put into a project here in US, I really thought I would have to resign, but again things worked out (as I wrote in my "Ok now the real deal :)" post) and I was given a transfer. I have been telecommuting here since 1.5 years without any problems. And I have been grateful for the way things were going.

But good times, they say, don't last. Though my L1 work permit/visa is valid till June 2008, each 6 months an extension of my international assignment happens internally in my company. This particular thing has to be approved by a series of managers from my manager to the vice-president of the company (don't ask me why, thats the policy). Till now I thought this would be a mere formality. Maybe I had gotten used to working from home. Maybe I had gotten totally lazy. Maybe I had become complacent. So much that I didn't even bother trying for a job outside though I am being paid in India and my salary is nothing compared to what people get here. I liked working from home at my pace. It was a freedom that I had gotten used to.

Sadly one of the higher managers refused to approve the extension this time. Well, what were my options? Go back to India and work. Since that was not very feasible, what with Sri working here, the only thing to do was to resign. Which I did a couple of days ago. My last day of work will be in the first week of January 2007. What a way for the new year to start eh!!

I admit I was very disappointed. There were times when I was even bitter. But there is nothing I can do about it. There's no way I'll be away from Sri. And its a miracle this whole thing worked out for the past 1.5 years. Atleast I have been working and it has obviously increased my "work experience" factor. So I am grateful for that. My only woe is that had I just been given a hint about this some time back, I would probably have tried for something. But, whats done is done..

Meanwhile, I'm actively looking for jobs. But to do a job in US means acquiring a H1 which is a whole new story altogether (I'll be writing on it some other time). Another plan is to study either MS or MBA. Both require TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language) scores and while MS requires a GRE (Graduate Record Examination) score, MBA requires GMAT (Graduate Management Admission Test) score. And man, are these exams costly :-p. So I wouldn't like to attempt them before I'm well prepared. Which is why I have a plan in place. First want to finish TOEFL and then decide whether to do GRE or GMAT :-D.

I'm not giving up. My major worry is that I'll become redundant and that sitting idle at home will make me kind of useless (I know I can never be that, still I am afraid I will). I remember when I graduated, it was recession time and we were not sure whether the company that had selected us in Campus recruitment would even take us or not. Many companies had absolutely refused to do so. A single walk-in/test from a company meant 1000s of students gathering in the place to attend. My company had postponed the joining date. I remember being very depressed. Because there was literally no hope then. But I joined music classes, visited relatives I hadn't visited for years (due to my studies) and when my company actually made us join, I remember actually being glad for having the break :). Hopefully this will turn out to be the same way.

Somebody (I don't know who) said:

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

There are many funny versions of this, the latest ones being:

When life gives you lemons, find someone who has vodka and throw a party!

When life gives you lemons, sell them on ebay!

Hehehehe :-D. Anyways I am digressing. My only resolution for the new year, is not to let myself get into negativity. Though I may feel down from time to time, I am going to make myself get back on track and work on achieving a few things I have always wanted to (I have always wanted to do my Masters). Maybe this is for the good. Maybe this is going to make me get up, look around and strive hard to get what I want. Maybe this is going to make things better than they already are. As my dad always says "This is not the end of the world" and it certainly is not :).

Quoting Lee Ann Womack's song "I hope you dance", which is my motto as of now ;-)...

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance

Living might mean taking chances, But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake , But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance..


Thats my advice to anybody who's reading this post. I hope you dance, people :). Meanwhile wish you a very happy and a prosperous new year :).