The grand past..

Some children are fortunate enough have both their sets of grandparents and get to see the love and affection between the pairs, but I have never been one of those. Since I was born, I had only my grandfather on my dad's side (I called him "Ajja") and my grandmother on my mom's who I called Ammamma. Ajja was there for 15 years of my life when he succumbed to a heart attack (I was studying 10th std then and it happened right before my final exams) leaving us in shock. The only grandparent I had left, my Ammamma, passed away more than 12 days ago on 27th October 2010.

Neither of the grandparents I had, could ever be termed as affectionate, though I do remember Ajja being loving towards Darsh. But it was certainly not what you see in happy movies - grandparents giving hugs and kisses and sweetmeats to the children around. I am not saying this with any regret, because I know what they were, were because of the way they spent their lives - life certainly never was easy on them. And I have a tremendous respect for who they were for basically how my parents are and how in turn they have influenced me and Darsh.

Ajja was a hotelier, though not as grand as the word sounds. He had successful hotels and total failures, the fail part more often than the success part. He would open a hotel in one part of Andhra Pradesh and continue there as long as it was a success. If things were good, he'd sell that one in profit and move on to another place. Same thing with losses, if the hotel turned out to be a loss, there'd be no choice, he'd have to move on. So my dad and his 4 siblings lived all over Andhra. Ajja was mostly a workaholic because he had to feed his family and it didn't help matters when he lost his wife. Dad did get his education, but he had to work all mornings (grinding idli/dosa batter and chutneys) and once he came back from school as a waiter. I remember him telling me that they couldn't even afford oil lamps at home and that he studied under street lamps. When things were good, he got money to watch cinemas, but until he was about 16 or 18 (I think), he didn't even have footwear. But being the son of a Udupi hotel owner, he atleast had enough to eat. My mom didn't.


BharaNi nakashatra-davaru onda dharaNi aaLthaare athwa beraNi thaTthaare.

Meaning "The people born under the BharaNi star either rule the earth or make cow-dung patties" (implying either they'll be either very rich or very poor). My mom always uses this quote about Ammamma adding that she saw both. Ammamma was born to a very rich and very orthodox family. She was married off at a very young age and mom tells me that she was sent to her in-laws in a Chinnada pallakki (gold carriage). Her in-laws were very well-off too, but her husband was a different case. My maternal grandfather was a total gambler - the only 2 accomplishments I can list of his are gambling and making babies. He drank away all of the riches and died leaving Ammamma with 5 children (she also had a couple of miscarriages) and thankfully, a house to live in. She had some cows, so she sold the milk and earned some money. But it wasn't enough when it came to feeding her children. I think she even cooked and helped out in houses, but she hardly had anything to eat. She sent away my mom to her mother's place for some years and later to her elder daughter's place (my doDDamma was married and with her family then) for some more years. Staying with her grandparents and then her elder sister, mom was a bit better off, but it didn't mean that she wallowed in luxury, the opposite in fact. Things were difficult there too and to this day mom says that she'd have preferred to live with her family than anywhere else (which is why she never entertained the idea of sending me or Darsh away anytime). Even later, when she came back home, things weren't better. Ammamma would make sure all the kids got food, but for herself, she'd walk miles to the Udupi maTa (where they serve food for the poor) to get a belly-full food once a day, bearing all insults and evil eyes around.

Things didn't get any better for a few more years until my parents found jobs - my dad did his bachelors in Science and got a job, while my mom applied right after her 2nd PUC and got one (she completed her bachelors in arts degree later through correspondence). My mom was able to request her boss into considering her brother for a job and from then on, there was a lot of improvement in that house. Ajja didn't give up on his ventures until my parents got married and even after coming to stay with his eldest son, he still wanted to be independent and had a shop running for quite sometime (oh yeah that reminds me, he'd get me candies from his shop - so there was bit of sweetmeats :-D). From then on Ajja was quite happy living with us. Being a hotelier, he would interfere in the kitchen and cause some amount of irritation to mom, so there were the usual bickering now and then (but I think my mom learnt a lot about cooking either from him or due to the competition :-D and to this day according to me, she is one of the best cooks around). But things were getting better by the day - all his children were pretty much settled and his death, when he passed away was very much unexpected. He was one of the healthiest people around and had gone on one of his trips to Mysore - when he saw the Nanjangud temple after many years and we don't know what happened, his heart simply gave out that night. He was at my cousin's place and by the time we drove there (I still remember dad driving like a maniac that night), he had had a 2nd massive heart attack and was gone.

Today I still picture Ajja sometimes - he'll always be this old man in a white panche to me, very fond of his nashya dabba (snuff powder box) and talking a lot and making yummy khaara mixtures and gulab jaamun at home (for the mixture he'd make 5 to 6 different things and we'd keep running to the kitchen to sneak stuff, obviously getting scoldings in return :-D). I remember him at every happy occasion at home, when my dad bought a house, when I got a job, when I got married and later when I had Snugli. Every time I wish he was there to see and enjoy the occasion with us.

Meanwhile, on the other side, Ammamma was doing well - taking care of the birth of grandchildren and basically taking care of the grandchildren themselves. She has taken care of some of us when we were ill, when our parents couldn't attend to us and so on and so forth. As we grew up, she grew into this old lady who lived with one of her sons but travelled to our place often (once a year atleast for 3 months) and we grand kids would love to tease her. But recently as she grew to her 80s, she had become quite weak and travelling had become difficult for her. She was not really in a good shape when she came to Snugli's namakarNa, but I was glad that she was able to make it.

Last year, she fell ill pretty badly and I was very worried about her. So in our India trip, I made it a point to make a quick trip to Udupi to see her (which now I am very glad I did) - it was literally a flying visit. She had some memory problems then - she's ask the same questions again and again, forget that she had just eaten etc, but she was looking well. But after we came back here, things got a lot worse. Her health deteriorated and she even had a fall which resulted in a brain stroke. After that she didn't recognize anyone. My cousin who grew up under her care got married there just about a month back and she didn't recognize her own children and grandchildren. She didn't talk much, had incontinence and later even got bed-sores which resulted in her getting admitted to a hospital. Mom was inconsolable, but Ammamma couldn't even talk about what she was going through and how she was suffering. It was a miserable time for everyone. Just about 20 days back, she had even stopped eating and was being given liquids through a food pipe. We actually had started praying for her suffering to end..

Yet when I heard the news of her passing away, it still somehow came as a shock. One part of me was glad - she didn't have to suffer any longer, while the other was very sad - I lost the only grandparent I had, my future child if any, will never even have the opportunity of interacting with her like Snugli did. I have a photo of hers with Snugli on a wall and I find myself going to it and wishing she is in a good place. Ammamma also had a heart attack and she was almost 90. The most clear memory I have of her is of her sitting on her cot at nights, eating adike (arekanuts) which she was very fond of and powdering karpura (camphor) to put in the eyes and cool them. I remember her voice and some of the things we'd make fun of. Some part of me still cannot believe she's not around anymore, but I'm glad we had her until now.

One of the reasons why I admire my parents so much is because they are products of their past (I wasn't always in awe of them, when I was in my teen years I thought the whole world was conspiring against me, but I digress :-D). They didn't have everything on their side, everything going for them, yet they made something of themselves. Theirs is one of the personal success stories that I've seen and though neither I nor Darsh have had difficult circumstances while growing up, we were taught to appreciate where they came from. I see people day to day blaming everything from their parents, to their past, to their circumstances, i.e everything except themselves for what they are today and I get really irritated at them. Yes your past matters to some extent, but you can always overcome it. If you insist on not doing anything and keep finding someone or the other to place the blame on, your situation is not going to get any better. My parents never gave up and neither did my grandparents.

I can only hope that I have inherited a little bit of the persistence, the strength and the resolve to go on, no matter how bad the circumstances, how dire the consequences and how hard the times are. I can only hope that I can bring up my child(ren) how my parents have brought us up and teach them to appreciate the sacrifices and the hard work of their grandparents. I can only hope that my grandparents are in a happy place and will be watching over us for time to come. I can only hope..

Back breaking blogging..

Oops I meant "back to blogging after a break" ;-).

Sigh. I just have no patience for this anymore. I lost the time long time ago. And I seem to be running out of excuses. Now is the time to make a decison.

To continue or to discard..
To go on or stop..
To progress or cease..
To write the paragraph of justifications or not..

Since the past couple of posts, each time the first paragraph has been about why I haven't updated the blog. So I have decided either to stick to writing a post per week or giving no excuses from now on. C'mon admit it, you were scared that I was talking about giving up the blog, hehehee :)).

Its been sometime since I updated the blog, so I will be talking about Snugli's progress. She is 10 months old now and crawls all over the place. She pulls up anywhere and everywhere - sofa/tables/crib/people and she lets go of the support :)). She stands hands free for about 15-20 seconds and then flops down on to the ground :). She squeals all the time, says "Lala", "Rrrrr" and does a fake cough whenever she needs to be picked up :-D. She usually goes to people and pulls up on their legs and gives the fake cough ;-). But my FIL is the exception. She just makes gooey eyes at him and he comes running to pick her up. Its as if she knows hehehee :)).

We have her crib right next to our bed. So if she wakes up very early in the morning, I usually hear her but I pretend to be asleep. She plays by herself until she notices me. Then she pulls up on the crib railing and sometimes starts giggling (there are many other times when she cries). Again its as if she knows that I just don't have the power to resist her :). I usually laugh out loud (scaring Sri awake) and immediately pick her up :-D.

The best part is that she's starting to relate words to things. She has been recognizing and relating "Amma" (mother) and "Naana" (dad) for some time now. But these days if you ask her "Light elli?" ("elli" means "where" in Kannada), she looks up at the light. "Ball elli?" gets her looking at her big multicoloured ball. In the kitchen she relates to Cooker and mosaranna (curd rice that I keep aside when she is having her uppu-thuppa-tarkari-dal anna i.e salt-ghee-veggie-pulses rice, phew, more on that later). In the bath room its "baby elli?" and she looks at her reflection in the huggggge mirror :) (thats one thing I'll never understand about US, the huggge mirrors and 10 lights in the bathrooms - well I guess the people need them to make sure the make-up is flawless :-p). In the bedroom, she looks at her crib and her stuffed penguin when asked. The funny part is that at first she'd look up when asked "Light elli?", so one day she was lying down when I asked the question and she actually looked up to the wall next to her head :)). Hehehehe. All these are really very very enjoyable - some of the best times we've had with her so far :)).

Last time I told you she got her front 2 lower teeth. Recently she got one of her front upper teeth and she's about to get the other one. So her daily routine begins with brushing teeth these days :-D. The things they make these days - her toothpaste is non-fluoridated and is berry-flavoured, a good thing since she hardly spits any of it out :-p.

I started her on semi-solid food when she was around 5 1/2 months old in June. I started with "Cerelac Wheat and Apple" which many of my friends insisted their kids loved. She moved on to "Cerelac Wheat and Orange", "Cerelac Wheat and Honey" and "Cerelac Wheat Dal Palak" in her 7th month. I got these various cerelac boxes from India and I love them since the textures and flavours are different each stage (there were honey clusters in the wheat and honey, orange clusters in the wheat and orange and so on). Sadly, I haven't seen them here in US at all. The Gerber ones are all pasty and are totally bland. You have to add stuff to it to taste good. Even the Indian stores have a spanish Cerelac thats total pasty and has no textures at all (at least it does have some flavour). Other than these she'd snack on orange/mango juice or banana/plum/boiled-carrot/biscuit pieces, one of these per day :).

Well, in her 8th month, I ran out of the cerelac I had brought from India and got the spanish versions of Cerelac "Wheat and fruits" and Cerelac "Rice and Vegetables". But from then on, I used them only for her breakfast. I started her off with actual rice (overcooked to almost a paste) for her lunch and dinner then. First it was uppu-tuppa-anna (ghee and salt rice), but soon I started adding veggies like carrot/beans/spinach/peas alternately. Recently once she crossed 9 months, we included curd and avocado (known as butter-fruit in India) in her diet.

So to sum up, these days after brushing her teeth, she has cerelac for breakfast. For lunch and dinner she has uppu-thuppa-veggies-dal-rice and curd rice (for lunch its a combination of 3 veggies, 1 of which is always spinach and dinner veggie is only spinach). Some times I add lemon or saaru (rasam) or huLi (sambaar) or a wee bit of uppinakai (pickle) for taste. Evening she has either fruit or fruit juice as a snack and biscuits or Gerber fruit puffs as a second snack (the fruit/veggie finger foods are really wonderful and she loves them, but is still trying to pick them up and put in her mouth by herself). She breastfeeds 4 times a day, so thats still her main nutrition :-D.

Till now, she hasn't refused any type of food I have given her. But there have been times when she has kept food in her mouth without swallowing for more than 5 minutes and caused me aggravation ;-). There are still times when she laughs with food in her mouth and splatters it everywhere. Earlier I'd lie her down on my legs and feed her or Sri would prop her on a pillow and would do the honours. Now she has her own dining chair to sit in, so her meals are almost always in the kitchen. Usually my MIL feeds her but Sri and I take turns sometimes. And Snugli does seem to love new tastes. Usually I feed her tidbits from my lunch/snacks and she enjoys those ;-) :). Its plain wonderful to have very minimum fussing and I hope the phase is going to last :).

After breakfast its usually time for her bath. Before she was born, mom was worried about how she'd handle giving the baby a bath. I mean, Darsh and I are grown up and its been a long time since she bathed a baby ;-). Moreover in US, the bathrooms are different. You just have bathtubs or a cubicle and the water is contained in that place. So the space is restricted. The 2 bathrooms in our house have bathtubs, but a traditional bath involves the use of oil and oil and bathtubs just don't gel well ;-). Though she was nervous, she was brave enough to try sitting in the bath tub, stretching her legs and giving the baby a bath on her legs (the traditional way of bathing a baby). We did have to make several adjustments, for example, since there was no space, the bucket full of hot water had to be kept outside the tub, so we had a step-stool and kept the bucket on top of that, so that it'd be easy for her to reach. Also, since refilling the bucket in the tub would be difficult, either Sri or I would pour extra hot water from the sink. She would apply oil to her, massage her, make her do exercizes and bathe her :). Since the time we returned to US, I have been giving her the traditional bath and plan to do so until she's able to stand on her own. And Snugli absolutely loves the massage and laughs at the exercizes :)). After her bath, we put saambraaNi smoke to her hair (don't even know how to translate that to English :-D). Thank God, that we are able to manage it just for the simple reason that our kitchen doesn't have a smoke-detector!

Snugli then takes a nap, has her lunch at around 12:30 PM and sits on her chair until we finish ours. Afternoon, another nap and plays in between with everything other than her toys :-p. Yeah all she wants are the remote, the phone, newspaper and magazines, just not her toys. There was this one instance when in a store I showed her a soft toy penguin and a soft toy leopard. She was so excited about the penguin that she grabbed and hugged it. I bought it and brought it home and she hasn't looked at it since :-D. Well not really, she does play with it when we force it into her hands, but you know what I mean :-D.

Evening she usually has snacks and we take her to a park nearby if we are home. We usually go to the YMCA in the evenings. This wasn't a problem in summer as the days lasted longer and we'd go to the park at sunset and that'd be 8 to 8:30 PM. But these days it sets by 7 and the evenings are colder. But whenever we do go, we put her in her stroller and she likes looking at everything outside. After she completed 9 months, we could put her in a baby-swing in the park and she really enjoys it. But if you push the swing even a wee bit higher, she holds her breath, so we have to be really careful :). Then in the night she has her dinner and goes to bed.

I know the post is getting long, but consider it compensation for all the days I went missing :). Its natural that Snugli is learning new things everyday. But whats surprising is the fact that I'm learning new things about myself everyday. Before I got married I used to wonder how I'd manage, handle the responsibility of living with another person. It'd certainly not be like living with my parents - carefree, responsibility-free ;-). But I could manage very well, thanks to Sri. Later when we were thinking about children, as I have repeatedly mentioned in this blog of mine, I was totally worried about whether I had it in me to be the completely reliable person the child would want me to be. But now I know that I'm able to manage, to handle things life has been throwing at me so far and its been heart-warming. Its almost as if our capacity to "handle" things grows as we grow. And I now know that if and when we think about another child, we'll manage that too. Like our parents have done, like maybe far in the future, our children will too. I only hope we can do as wonderful a job of it as our parents did :).

Its strange how the circle of life works, isn't it?

Queen of the world!

I am back. No its not mom, its still Snugster, the great! I'm not saying sorry for going missing on you for all these days 'cause well, this is not my blog, so all the apologizing should be coming from mom :-p. But you see, I was very very busy. After being in Bangalore for a couple of days in March, we headed to Hyderabad, then back to Bangalore, then to Belgaum, then back to Bangalore. Then dad came and we had my naming ceremony (as if I don't already have a name :-p). Then we headed to Hyderabad (again!!) where I fell a bit ill, vomited and was successful in totally shocking my poor mom. We also had my Annaprashana ceremony there. And then we went back to Bangalore from where we left to US. Phew!! Meanwhile how can you expect a baby to also update a blog? A big :-p to you!

Anyways I was telling you how everyone was catering to me. This catering continued and in fact increased when we went to Hyderabad (ofcourse ;-) :-D). As soon as mom and I landed there the first time, I smiled at everyone and made them fall to my feet >:-). They started treating me like the queen that I am ;-).




My naanamma and thaatha (dad's parents) were always carrying me around!




Thaatha even carried me on his shoulders! :-D.




Lekha atte would always play with me and call me "Bangaru konda" meaning mountain of gold, hehehee :)).




Even my nanammamma (father's maternal grandmom, i.e my paternal great grandmom) did my seve by bathing me everyday :).




After coming to Bangalore, I was honoured by my ammammamma (mom's maternal grandmom i.e my maternal great grandmom) too :-D.




I am the luckiest little girl, aren't I? So you all better do my seve too :-p.





Deeps: Snuggles!! What are you doing!!!
Snuggles: You weren't updating your blog, so I thought...
Deeps: Thought what? And what is this you have been writing!! No computer for you! (Seinfeld style :-D)
Snuggles: But mooooom.. (South Park's Eric Cartman style :-D)
Deeps: No "but mom"s. Go to your crib now!!
Sri: Come here my sweetheart, don't cry..




Snuggles: (I win again, hehehehe) :)).

The world at my feet!

The world and its aunt actually :-p.

Hello all! I, Snuggles, ecchh, what kind of a name is Snuggles? Big :-p to mom. I'm going to rename myself Snugster, that sounds cool. I, Snugster, have taken over this blog for good. Since my mom is too lazy to stop me, all you people have to read through (I mean, suffer through :-D) whatever I have to say :-p.

Mom keeps telling everybody what a good baby I am (she doesn't know the naughty streak in me), so right now I'm making her suffer a bit. I have been fussing for a while and pooping some mucous stuff frequently. Well, I thought my plan worked when mom got worried, but it sorta backfired on me what with the doctor suggesting some syrup and drops :((. Anyways, the doctor has told mom that there's nothing to worry about, so well, everything's fine and getting better.

Anyways the whole reason of me taking over mom's blog was to show you how I'm being pampered left and right. You all know how ammamma (mom's mom) has been pampering me in the US. She bathed me and did all sorts of seve for me ;-).




As soon as I landed in Bangalore, everyone literally fell at my feet :-D. Firstly, I had Darshu mama and his hair wrapped around my little fingers :-D.




Secondly, grandpa is totally besotted with me >:-).




Ammi doddamma and Dinni mama also visited us and I had both of them eating out of my hands..







Ooops! I almost forgot about Sanju chikkamma treating me like a doll ;-).




Hehehehe, huggggggggge victory to me!!




(Me-getting-pampered-in-Hyderabad photos coming up soon..)

Yaadein yaad aati hain..

It seems like only yesterday when he was here. Now he's half a world away. I keep thinking he's going to pop out of the kitchen, or I'll suddenly see him in the hall watching TV. But nope, dad left last week. Suddenly he's back to being a voice on the phone. I know I'll see him again in 2 months (I'll be going to India :-D), but well, as usual I can't really help how I feel right now. I know mom feels lonely without him around, but she doesn't really say anything. Again, we knew this was the plan all along.

He was here for about 2 months but I keep recollecting one moment in particular. One night he was putting Snuggles to sleep and he started singing "Bade achche lagthe hein". I, lying down in the same room had an urge to join in and so we both sang together to the baby. The whole thing was almost surreal..

Its strange how moments get converted to being "memories" so soon..

Nagme hain, shikwe hain
Kisse hain, baatein hain
Baatein bhool jaati hain
Yaadein yaad aati hain..

Woh bhi kya din the...

The snap was taken about 5 years ago, when all 4 of us (dad, mom, Darsh and me) had gone to Udupi for holidays. We drove to Udupi, so this photo was taken on the Shiradi ghat section. We were posing for the photo all serious, when Darsh made some stupid comment which made us laugh out loud and he managed to capture it.

Dad came here on Friday and it feels so good :). We had been to Louisville on Saturday and this photo was taken there:




I feel like I'm with family again (I know, I know that Sri is my family now :-p). But I miss not having Darsh around me. It still feels so weird not to be the "four" we were..




(This pic was taken in Udupi on our India trip last year).

Why does the heart always long for more when it has so much?

Listening to: Wish you were here by Pink Floyd :(.

"How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears,
Wish you were here."

Gotta be hard, gotta be tough, gotta be stronger...

You don't really know the value of something until you are away from it. This is specially true in case of parents. I've seen it in lots of blogs where you can see the person's attitude towards his/her parents when they are with them and later when they have moved away. Personally, I started my blog after I was "away", so though there has been a major transition in me, there is no "record" as such to show it. If I had blogged before, I'm sure the attitude change would be very obvious in me too.

So what brought this on suddenly? Nope, its not because I'm in the process of becoming a parent myself. Last week, I fell ill. I had severe throatache, some cough and a bit of cold. I've recovered a lot, but there are still some traces of the cold and cough remaining. This is the first time I have fallen ill after I got married! Its been 2.5 years of no illness whatsoever, touchwood :-D. I don't really know what happened. I didn't really do anything different, well maybe my immunity is a bit low thanks to my condition ;-).

The relation between illness and missing parents is obvious. When you are staying with parents, its so easy to depend on them. I mean, if you fall ill, they are always there to cook and care for you. I remember whenever I would get a cold/cough in Bangalore, it would get severe in a matter of hours (Bangalore pollution was probably 90% the reason). Dad would come home tired yet be ready to take me to the doctor immediately. Mom would make khashaya (for those who don't know - a pepper concoction) and later in the night when I would be unable to sleep, she'd rub Vicks on my back for hours. Just her being with me was a major comfort.

This time, well, it was different. Not that Sri wasn't helpful or wasn't comforting. And though I love troubling him other times, it was sorta difficult to let go. What I mean is that I cooked, made myself khashaya and somehow didn't really want Sri to "take care" of things. Now I really know how mom felt when she would fall ill, yet somehow managed to cook for 4 people. Dad would help a lot, but she did most of the work. Maybe I'm not being very clear, but I felt "grown up", that too after being away for more than 2.5 years! Well, not like I had any choice ;-) :-D.

It feels strange to suddenly realize that you are on your own. But really how must the parents feel? Its like you take care of your kids, watch every step, bandage every wound for more than 20 years, just to let them go and live on their own. I don't think thats easy, but hey, thats life. And thats how it will be in the next generation, so on and on.

The good news is that I get to depend on mom atleast for 6 months from now. She'll be arriving here this weekend (my dad will be here sometime in November) and I am having sort of mixed feelings about it. First, ofcourse I need her with me and I'm so excited! Its been almost 1.5 years since I have seen her, so I am very happy. I can't really describe the excitement levels I am on.

The second persistent feeling is guilt. I mean, usually a girl goes to her parents' place when she is nearing delivery. But to the normal NRI reasons plus the fact that I didn't want Sri to miss out on the baby stuff, I cannot really go to Bangalore for the same. So instead of being together with mom, dad and Darsh, here I am separating them for my advantage. I feel selfish and mean. I don't know whether its natural to feel this way or whether its THE harmones, but I feel sad. Dad and Darsh will have to manage sometime without mom (mom has never been away from dad for this long, so I feel responsible :-\) and Darsh will be on his own for atleast 1.5 months. I don't like it and feel its my fault. In fact, the guilt is threatening to take over the happiness :(. But well, I can't have it both ways :-p.

Thirdly and finally, for 2.5 years we have been here on our own. We have literally had no visitors (what with us being in a non-accessible place :-D), so I don't really know if the way I have maintained house (in short the way we are living) is "approvable". I have been cleaning (;-) :-D), setting some things up for the past couple of days, just to make sure everything looks good ;-). I guess I'll know soon when mom will be here ;-) :-D. That worry holds when it comes to the baby too. Sri and I are too used to being together alone, so will we able to handle the responsibility of another life in our lives? Guess we'll find out in time..

Anyways, this post was just to get some things off my chest. Conflicts and confusions, thats what life is made of. How you handle them will show how you lived your life. I tell myself that so many people have handled it all before me and why should I be any different? But again, nobody else has lived "my" life :). I have to face what comes and so I will.

Dearest Dad :)

A little girl and her father were crossing a flimsy bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."
And the little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" asked the puzzled father.
"There is a big difference," replied the little girl,
"Dad, if I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that
I may let your hand go."
"But, if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what
happens, you will never let my hand go."

"Many Many Happy Returns of the day to a dad who never let my hand go and who is my idol! My daddy strongest ;-)".

Dearest Mom :)

Today is the birthday of my mom and my best friend. Not very surprisingly, both are the same person :). She is one person who I can talk to about anything, fight over very small issues, argue over nonsensical stuff but basically have lots of respect and love for :). We can gossip for hours, yet understand each other without saying anything. She's certainly one of the people I just cannot live without. She has held me at rough times, irritated me sometimes and walked as a friend by my side at all other times..

So continuing my birthday tradition of this year, here's the evolution snap :).




"Many Many Happy Returns of the day to a mom who's lovable, huggable and sometimes even scoldable :-D. Thanks for being the best mom/friend a girl can ever have :)".

Oh B(r)other!!

Has any new year ever drastically changed your life? I mean drastically as in extremely, severely, excessively, extaordinarily etcetera? No? Well mine did, very drastically about 21 years ago. I wasn't my parents' sole laadli anymore, nor my grandpa's only aankhon ka taara :-D. Yup, you guessed it. That was when my beloved brother Darsh was born :).

I don't remember being jealous of him in the early years ever. I was only upset that I didn't get the sister I wanted ;-). I guess I wanted a baby living doll to dress up and carry around. But I got a different doll - a boy doll. I remember when I was 5 and Darsh was 1 year old, I used to carry him every damn place. He was chubby and one of the cutest babies I ever saw. I can't believe he's turned into something we***, oh lets just say something other than chubby and cute today :-p. Don't believe me? Take a look yourself of the then photo:




As we grew older, we didn't grow any wiser :-p. We fought a lot. Lot as in many number of times, more, often, always :-D. God!! Darsh still had milk teeth and he used to bite my arm, real hard. Also due to my long hair, I was easy target. One day, mom adviced to bite him if he bites me ever again. Needless to say the bite marks on my arms vanished. But the fights weren't obviously the only part of our childhood. I had a bus pass and Darsh loved watching the bus driver. His dream was to become a driver then ;-). I would take him along for bus rides. I would proudly show my pass and Darsh would enjoy watching the driver. I would also buy him 25-50 paise lollies :). As time grew, we both learnt to ride bicycles and would always go together to a park nearby. It was our favourite activity on weekends. The next favourite would be to pester dad to take us to Jayanagar 4th block for bhel puri, ice cream cones, sugar candies and balloons :). Meanwhile the physical fighting continued. It stopped suddenly after one day, when mom saw our scratch marks and said in a sad voice "Should I go to work or not? Maybe one day you'll kill each other?". After that the fight continued in arguments and never in actual beatings :-D.

Darsh was a very active boy and was into lots of stuff from early on. I guess I was never like him in those ways. By the time he was in high school, he was in the basket ball team, he was into JAM and Dumb charades and guitar playing. He was also the head boy for the school in his 10th. He taught me the basic rules of basket ball. I watched him win Dumb Charades twice, though he actually won many times. His dumb charade team was named, get this, "Phantasmagoria" (!!!) and consisted of him and his best friends Pritam and Amit, who are best friends of his to this day :). Once the prize he won (1st prize) was a ladies watch ;-) and I enjoyed the fruits of his labour :-D >:). We had a computer at home in those olden days and I can shamelessly say that I got the hang of it only due to him. I learnt DOS, Basic and later Windows\Word\Excel through him (I didn't have computer classes then like the kids do now and he used to pick stuff from his friends). We used to play 2-player games and basically have a great time on the comp. And since he played guitar, I would be the singer for him. We both were into English music by then, but he was the first one to get into metal. The first time I heard that, I almost threw the head phones off. But slowly I got adjusted to it and I would sing songs of Metallica, Guns n Roses, Eagles etc while he played the guitar. We both worked well as a team, though I'd get scoldings from him if I got the pitch wrong somewhere and likewise he'd get scoldings when he missed a chord ;-).

Extra activities didn't mean he was any bad in studies. Good marks in 10th ICSE and better in 2nd PU. He got 100/100 in Maths in 2nd PU public examinations. I was and am proud of him. But he has become a bit negligent of his engineering studies, but what the heck? He has already secured a good job in a good company through campus selection :). After working for more than 3 years, who else but me can know that none of the bookish knowledge is of any use in our practical s/w engineer lives?

Meanwhile, I also learnt about Soccer and F1 through him. He was and still is crazy about Barcelona and I learnt to appreciate the players and their techniques (nope, I'm lying, I still haven't learnt to appreciate soccer :-D). F1 became a rage only because he'd support Mika Hakkinen of McLaren. Just out of spite, I started supporting Michael Schumacher of Ferrari. We'd watch the qualifying sessions and the final races together, never letting anyone else near the TV during that time, shouting at our respective idols to win and basically having fun. Later, I admit, it got boring when Hakkinen retired. But we'd somehow still watch those together.

In engineering college, one of Darsh's long time dreams came true. That was of forming a metal band. I am proud of the songs he wrote even though they are titled "Come back to death", "Hallucination theory" and what not!! Its a deep-rooted philosophy that any metal song should bend towards the tragic :-p :). He was the rhytm guitarist of the band and the back-up singer. I always thought that he should be the singer too, but he always insisted that singing was too much work for a rhytm-guitarist. I was obviously not a member of the 4-membered all-guys band, but I was still the first listener of his experimentations, major critic (mouthing off whatever I found wrong in it :-D), sometimes trial singer (after 100 corrections I'd croon the song exactly the way he wanted it sung :-p) and major fan :). I saw him and his pals Vicky, Subbu and Bhaskar on stage only twice, but I was oh-so-proud :). Right now the band's on a break what with these guys in the final year of their studies, but his guitar still shouts in his room through the electronic amplifier and computer speakers and is still the source of major ear aches/head aches to my parents ;-) :-D.

Now, I am far away. Never thought I'd miss the rogue so much. Darsh is careless, has a loud voice when things don't go his way, is totally insensitive sometimes and is downright a pain other times. But somewhere along the way, he became much more than a boy doll/enemy/brother. He became a friend, a pal, a buddy who I'd watch english thriller movies with, listen to the weirdest songs and sing them too, see football/F1/tennis/cricket with, share a pizza (He was/is crazy about pizza while my parents and I weren't, but I still would share a pizza with him) and even later learn his bike with him as the tutor. Talking of his bike, here's the now photo (not exactly now, about 2 years ago one):




Life changes oh-so-suddenly sometimes. I'm so far away from him and my parents now. But I still chat with him, talk to him, get ragged by him. In fact the jeeja-saala combination of Sri and Darsh sometimes gets after my life :-o, but its fun nevertheless. And today, 31st of December, is his birthday. New year has always been special to me not only because of the obvious new year - prosperity, hope etc, but because of the fact that new year, is the beginning of a whole new year in Darsh's life. Moreover, this year is special as he turns 21. Darsh, buddy, now you can get married anytime you want to ;-). I couldn't resist the marriage gibe, because Darsh always claims that he'll never get married, ever!! Me and mom always retort "Kalla Sanyaasi" to that ;-) :-D. Ok ok, here it is, the birthday wish:

"Happy birthday pal :). Hope your birthday brings you lots of new joys and a bright new start of career. Hope it also gives you enough brains so that you don't trouble dad and mom so much and take more care of them and yourself (couldn't resist that either :-D). Love you and miss you, man :)."

And as for the rest of you,

"Wish you a very Happy and a preosperous New Year :)."

Happy 26th Anniversary :)

Happy Anniversary to you, Happy Anniversary!!
Wishing you wonderful days with no worry.
To the world's best mom and dad, a wish so true..
May good luck go with you both and happiness too..

Twenty five years later...

Yup!! My 25th birthday - quarter century, silver jubilee and what not! Hey Chans, I am proud to say that I too am an ollllllllld married woman now :-D (Chans always claims that women on the other side of 25 are old :-D). So, now that I'm also the occupant of your territory, how do you feel? :-D >:)

By the way, my previous post Time and Tide Part 2 was a subtle reminder for my birthday ;-) :-D Got the hint? :-D Well, if you haven't, then be ready to face dire consequences :))

I thought a lot on what to blog on my 25th birthday. I had thought of a post called "What I wanna do in the next 25 years", "25 and not out" and so on. But finally decided that the post has to be a kind of dedication to all the people in my life who have influenced me in various ways for TWENTY FIVE years. Thanks for being there for me all you people :) And, yup, you guessed it, this post was not written in one day. It was planned for more than a fortnight and executed step-by-step :-D

25 years ago...

The diva was born on Thursday, 21st August 1980 at about 5:35 AM in the morning in a small town Shimoga, Karnataka, India hehehehe :)) My mom tells me I was a small pink pretty baby in her arms. It seems my parents decided that when I was born, they'd strive hard so that I'd be educated and I'd be able to stand on my own two feet :) They have succeeded and how! I owe my life to them. Thanks mom and dad, for believing in me and for making me into what I am today :) The only problem is that right now, I'm thousands of miles away from them. But distances shouldn't matter as long as, in our hearts, we are close..

24 years ago...

My mom tells me that my first word may probably have been "Ma ma". She's not sure. I asked her and she said "How can you expect me to remember after 24 years?". I ask you the same thing. How can you expect me to remember what my first words were, 24 years ago? A big :-p to you!!

(Update: Mom tells me she thought a lot about it and that it was ma, later pa and then ja. All short forms for amma, appa and ajja :)))

23 years ago...

I've been ragged about this story all my life :-! It seems my aunt got married this year. As a young child of 2 years who is able to talk, I was totally impressed with my aunt's saree, moggina jade (Jasmine-knitted plait) and the whole dressing up :). It seems I went to my ajja (grandfather) and asked him with all innocence "Ajja, when will you marry me off?" Heheheee. This is not an in-built memory, but an embedded one, cause I really don't remember saying it :)

22 years ago...

It seems Ammi akka (my cousin) used to stay with us then. But I really don't remember. What I do remember is that a fruit used to grow in our house. It'd go "pop" when you smash it to your forehead :) I also remember that I had a nanny by name of Vasanthi and that once she had hit me with a stick very bad. I remember mom being really angry with her. Isn't it strange, the way we remember beatings more than the kisses, the way we remember the scoldings more than the loving words? Later Vasanthi left one day to go to her town. I have no idea at all where she is now..

21 years ago...

Dad was transferred to Anantapur in Andhra Pradesh and mom was expecting Darshan. Everyone always used to ask me "Do you want a brother or a sister?". I remember saying "Sister" promptly. And I ended up with Darsh :-D I remember being a bit disappointed then. Now I'm not. Darsh is a wonderful brother as well as a wonderful friend :) He is studying his final year of Computer science engineering now. He's already placed into a good company through campus. Cannot believe we have grown so ollllld :)) Darshu, looks like we are heading very fast towards being a muduka (old man) and a muduki (old woman) as you call it ;-)

20 years ago...

I have my first memories of school from this year. I remember one day being taken out of one class-room and seated in another. I didn't understand what was happening then. Later I was told that I was given a double promotion. It seems I already had learnt the whole syllabus of U.K.G (ha ha ha :-D) and was ready for 1st std before I was even half-way through U.K.G. So they put me into 1st std class mid-year :)) There were no age rules then, it seems ;-) Archana was my best friend then. It seems I used to speak Telugu like a pro. "Archana raave" used be the oft-repeated phrase that people heard from me. Heck, I even remember saying it. I remember playing with her a lot. We used to live in an outhouse then with the owner's house right inside the compound. They used to have a dog. Don't remember his name, but I remember he bit me twice ;-) My mom tells me that he used to bark like mad whenever she scolded me :-D Love and hate relationship huh? :-D

19 years ago...

I remember only three things about this year. The first was that we had a annual school day function in which I had danced a deepa (candle light in hand) dance and another dance with a guy Abhishek who was Archana's older brother. I remember I wore my white frilly frock for the second one and Abhi wore a suit kind of thing. The frock was really my favourite at that time. We danced to "Ye he mumbai meri jaan" :)) The second thing was leaving the school as my dad had been transferred to Bangalore. I remember I had gone to school to bid farewell and the principal had given me pakoras to eat. I don't remember his name, but I remember the pakoras ;-) Sad :-D The third thing was that my mom tried to put me into 1st std in the Bangalore PTA school I was joining as she was worried that it may affect my future studying with older students. But there were no seats available for 1st and she had to resign to the fact that I'd join 2nd std. Thats why most of my classmates have always been 1 year older than me, other than those who had situations similar to me. I've never had a problem with this as it has never mattered for friendship or competition :-D

18 years ago...

The only few things I remember of PTA school are four friends Mangala, Yasmin, Shobha and Akram, the way we used to play tag, that I had won a first prize for singing a rhyme (!!! :-D, it was "sing a song of sixpence" with a dance ;-) I still remember the dance :-D), that whenever we used to see a plane we used to sing "aeroplane tata" :-D (Those were rare those days :-D) and I had got mumps from my neighbourhood friend Smitha. Small moments do make great memories :))

17 years ago...

We changed houses and hence I had to change schools. I completed my 3rd standard and joined SSVM for the 4th. We shifted to Banashankari. Amit and Charu used to live the house opposite and we became friends almost instantly. Charu was in the same class as Darsh. We used to have wonderful imaginations and we'd pretend we are all in the same family and that one is a doctor, one is a scientist, one is a pilot etc. I remember watching jungle book at their house and playing legos :) Charu is all grown up now and Amit is no more. He died in a motorcycle accident few years ago which was a shock to all of us. He was only 2 years younger than me. Don't know why God does that! But I have so many memories of the house. We had a guava tree in our house as well as the neighbours. I used to climb it :) I also found a dead butterfly once and I remember cremating it with all ceremony!

16 years ago...

I didn't talk about the new school in the previous para because I need to fill 4 years worth, cause thats how long I was in the school :) I met 2 of my best friends here. Sushma and I were immediate friends. She was a total fighter cock and a tomboy. Now she's married to Sham and she's the mother of a sweet little girl Sunidhi. I had gone to invite her to my wedding and she said "We were 2 little kids with 2 pig tails, how did we end up like this?" :)) Another was Soumya. I was always jealous of her as she was good at everything (Soum, there you have it! The big confession ;-) :-D). She was always the first in class, she was good at singing and dancing. She was not a best friend as such in my primary school, but later in P.U went on to become one :)

15 years ago...

I remember so many things about S.S.V.M, I could write a separate post on it :)) The teachers Padma miss, Nalinamba miss, Chandrika miss, Shyamala miss, the fighting with the boys, oh yeah, that was the best part. Girls and boys would always be fighting each other. We were competitive from ranks in class to who gets how many prizes in what :) There were 4 guys we considered as enemies Aravind, Rajaram, Anand and Sunil. We had named them ARAS (first letters of their names :) ) and we'd have codes and what not :) What fun!! There were other girls and guys who were friends like Anusha, Gayathri, Manju, Anil, Brijesh and Guru Basava. I have to write atleast a few lines about Guru Basava. He used to sit right next to me. I used to help him out with his studies. He always would say "After 7th std, I'll go back to my native place Kollegala and do farming there." I remember I had literally wrestled with him once (not at all like a lady :-D). He was lots of fun though a total budhdhu. I'd be so proud of him whenever he'd get good marks. I hope he is where he wants to be now. Again me not knows where he is..

14 years ago...

I was the class minder when I was in 6th std. Sounds like a big title but all I had to do was watch if anyone was talking when the teacher wasn't there in the class and write their names down on the board. I would jot names and later erase them before the teacher came in :-D I was in the singing team for assembly (What we had to do was sing prayers and all other students would repeat after us) and I was also in the singing team for the school. I remember we won a prize in the inter-branch school competitions. I also used to sing for annual days. We'd have special poojas on Fridays and yup, we'd have a singing session. The exams were also lots of fun with oral exams also added. We would have posters and ask questions to other teams. Man, I truly miss those days!

13 years ago...

Completed my 7th Std exams. Scored a really good percentage which got me a seat in Vijaya High school which only took the top students. I was proud as a peacock then. I remember having a farewell party where we had a fashion show. I remember dressing up and cat-walking and later being really embarrassed :-D But it was really sad parting ways with my closest friends. Sushma's father was transferred to Mysore. So we exchanged mails addresses (NO email then ;-) ) and we kept in touch to the surprise of many people. Soumya joined Vijaya High school too but she was in a different section. Some of the guys joined there too. As for the rest, I don't even know what happened to all of them. Yes, I have their autographs safe in a book and most of their addresses too (which would have probably become null and void long time back :-D). Wish we had had emails then. Email address is something more constant these days in the constantly changing world :)

12 years ago...

Met new people and made new friends. Pavana and Rashmi were my closest friends. Pavana was brilliant in Mathematics and a total tomboy. I still remember her lectures on Palindromes :-D Rashmi was totally opposite, I mean, she was totally feminish and emotional. But she was equally intelligent, but more into Biology. I was somewhere n the middle grounds :) I have so many memories with them, of Vijaya High school and the teachers there. I also had this major head-over-heals crush on a basketball player in school. He probably didn't even know I existed. Wonder where the guy is these days! Sorry Sri ;-) I am such a sucker for dimples, you know ;-)

11 years ago...

Had this silly fight with Pavana and Rashmi. I regret to this very day that I never tried to patch things with them. I could have, but didn't. It was a major lesson learnt, I almost never did things rashly again. I almost always thought of consequences first before I said or did anything after that incident. I don't even know where they are now, how they are, are they married, etc. If only I could turn back time, I'd definitely change this part of my life and wish I could be friends with them again...

10 years ago...

Finished my S.S.L.C (10th Std) with flying colours. With the great percentage I had scored, I was able to get into National, College, Jayanagar which was the dream college of every South Bangalore student. Took up PCMB. But this was not the major point of the year.

Ajja passed away even before my 10th exams. He was totally hale and hearty. He never once fell ill or never would be seen sitting idle. He had gone for a visit to Nanjangud and nobody knows what happened. He had a heart-attack that evening. My cousin Ammi and Prakash bhava, with whom he was staying then, rushed him to the hospital. But on the way, he had a 2nd massive heart-attack. He was no more by the time we reached Mysore. I remember dad driving the car like mad that evening. I remember Darsh and me crying. I remember getting his body to Bangalore in a car. I also remember seeing him for the last time. There have been so many times when I wished he was with us. Today we are so much better financially, professionally and personally and he's not here to see it. Many relatives appreciated the fact that I had got a great percentage in my 10th despite this tragedy. I believe it was due to Ajja's aashirwaada. Ajja, we miss you a lot...

9 years ago...

First P.U.C - Made new friends, who went on to became the best friends I ever had. We were such friends that after we parted, say its one friend's birthday, all of us would land at that person's house without a warning. Our moms actually got used to these unexpected visits and would be prepared ;-)

I already mentioned about Soumya. Soum is doing her PhD in Michigan here in US. In organic chemistry!! Darsh is totally in awe of her. He keeps saying "How can anyone do a PhD in Organic Chemistry, I'll never understand!!" :-D

Vandu (Vanditha) was intelligent (note the past tense, Vandu, please don't kill me :-D). Ok Ok she is intelligent now too. She got 14th rank (Hope I got it right) in 10th std and was really proud of it. Off topic, I had got the 30th rank at state level ;-). She is right now in a good position in a good software company :))

Vani was the most earliest of my friends to get married. I call her an old married woman and she flares up :-D Says, a woman can't be too old anytime :)). She would pretend to be a bit serious then. She is now happily married to Prasanna and expecting her first child this October.

Susmith (Susmitha) was probably the quietest in the group, I really can't say who was the most talkative. If I claim it was me, I am gonna get minimum 3 mails contradicting me :)) Quietly studious, she is now in Pune in (again!) a software company. She was the first to get into a job.

We used to call hammering lectures as kivi alli raktha barodu :-D (means blood is flowing from my ears as I can't stand the lecture :-D). We even had named 2 lecturers as full-blade and half-blade as they used to be maha-bores :)) I also remember that Vani, Soum and me won a prize in the Kannada anthakshari with the prize being 5 cassettes each :)) Again I could write a whole post on this period of my life :)

8 years ago...

I finished my 2 PUC with fly-able colours. Got into P.E.S.I.T which was again, precisely the college I wanted. But took up electronics, while I actually wanted computers. Anyways thought the exposure to hardware would do me good. And boy! Was I wrong! Whatever I'm doing now has no connection whatever with what I learnt then. It was the time for new friends as all the close friends went to different colleges/ took up different options. Susmith and Soum stayed in National college to take up BSc. Vandu and Vani joined Ambedkar college of engineering.

But the hightlight of the year was a drama we played in 2nd P.U. "Ondu Lokada Kathe" which's been recently made into the movie "Paheli" with the ending changed a bit. And I was the ghost :-D I said this to someone and was told "You must have been very apt for the role" hehehe :)) I had to whirl and swirl, swallow a knife (actually it went into my gown front pocket) but it was loads of fun. Mohan who is a pretty famous kannada actor now was our director. He always would comment on my whirling saying "You are whirling like a broken helicopter wing" :)) Vani was playing the role of Anupam kher and I'd always call her my artificial father. She'd correct me by saying "I'm not artificial, you are my artificial son" :-D It was just great!! Another thing that happened to me this year was a small accident. A pole fell on my head in college and I had to get 3 stitches.. I remember my principal VS (we used to call him Teddy bear as he was plump and chubby) and a lecturer DMR (we called him damar meaning explosion :-D) visited me at home. From then on whenever VS would see me, he'd ask "Nin tale sari aaitha?" meaning "Is your head alright?". We would laugh like crazy because it also implied mental instability in another sense :))

7 years ago...

Engineering life was fast. One semester would start and be over in no time. Its as if we never got any time for anything :) I made another group of great friends here which I ought to mention.

Habee is a wonderful friend and was again the the first in the group to get married. She married Aijazullah (Hope I got the spelling right :)) I always would pinch her cheeks :))

Hema is another good friend. I would land at her house whenever I wanted cause she used to stay very near to mine. Another wonderful coincidence is that she was born exactly the same day as me only an year earlier. So, Happy birthday Hema :) She got married to Raghavendra just a week after my marriage and is expecting twins somewhere in Jan :)

Geetha was the delight of the group. She'd look at any of our dresses and say "This thread might get undone after a wash :-D". She said it so many times that later we started saying it before she'd even think "Geetha, this fabric might fade away na?" :)) She was totally against marriage, hope she has changed her mind a bit now :)

6 years ago...

Engineering was tough in a lot of ways, but it was fun in a lot more. I was in the music club and would sing for annual days (named first Techniche` and later Atmatrisha). The classes were fun and so were the labs (except when we'd struggle to get the outputs). There used to be fierce competition in the three tests we'd have. I always strived to get 25/25 in every test and would succeed most of the time :) But it was basically being with friends which made it more enjoyable. There's lots to write about the lecturers like Bindu maa'm, Anuradha maa'm, the principal Sathyanarayan sir (I could dedicate a whole blog to him!), and how we'd play pranks in some hopeless classes. We sat in the first bench but would play tic tac toe ;-) Thankfully unlike my previous year classmates, the engineering class has a yahoo group and we still get updates of the important things happening in every one's lives :)

5 years ago...

In 6th semester, I got through campus selection into my first company. I remember I didn't even want to take the test as the placement was in Chennai and I didn't want to leave Bangalore. I simply attended the presentation for timepass. But I was so impressed that I stayed on for the test and got through!! I had an interview in the afternoon and I wasn't even dressed for it! I called up dad and asked him "What do I do?", he replied "Go for it!". So went to a friend's house and managed to make myself look a bit better. But while coming back, it started raining heavily and I got thoroughly drenched!! I attended the interview looking like a wet rat and still got through!! Later luckily for me I was placed in Bangalore. I was the first in the family to be placed through campus in a software company for such a high salary and yup, I was proud about it and so were my parents.

4 years ago...

I completed my B.E with distinction but sadly, it was the time of recession. My first company had postponed my joining date with no specific date in mind. I was pretty depressed about the whole thing. At this point of time, I decided to join a light music class and am I glad I did. Narahari Dixit was the teacher and I have never met a more impressive music teacher. I joined with a class of students much younger than me. It was as if I was returning to primary school. I was a kid with those kids - Apoorva, Namratha, Sreelekha (who sir would deliberately call with other names), Kaushik, Shruti, Sagar and so many more. I would pull somebody's ponytail, make faces at others and joke. I really loved it and it helped me get over the depression..

3 years ago...

I had just joined my first job. Finally my company asked us to join after a 6 month delay due to the recession. There were a batch of us who got in together. Oh, it was the strange era of recession and all the campus recruitments were being placed into my company in batches. Ours was a batch of 10, but we made friends with the other batches too and all of us are great friends. Most of us are not in that organization anymore, but we still are in touch. So here is the list :)

Chans (Chanchala) and I hit it off pretty soon. Evil minds think alike and all that ;-) The both of us together meant royal ragging of the others around :-D Our thoughts were sometimes so alike, that it was almost scary. We would make the same kind of comment together at the same time. We had crazy arguments about Rahul Dravid (do you remember that Chans? I still have the mail :-D) and plotted against others ;-) I have always bombarded her in case of emotional troubles and she's been a great sounding board. I remember, when she got married, I dedicated a month of messages on Yahoo messenger to her. Now she's happily married to Amar for more than a year and they are expecting their bundle of joy in November :) She's also doing her M.S. Chans, thanks for being there for me :)

Jaya was not of our batch, she was a senior to us by 2 years. But friendship doesn't go by age. She, to this date, calls me "Deepthi ki bachchi" and Chans as "Chanchala ki bachchi". Her pinches are deadlier than missiles and she always used to think my arms are the only targets around ;-) She is working for another company now and she was in US till the beginning of August. Jaya ki bachchi, I miss your pinches (never thought I would say that :-D)..

Prats (Prathibha), the most-often teased about girl in the group. We used to rag her about all sort of things. Her speciality was writing poems and sending to the group. That'd start a series of chain mails :) Now, she's done with her M.S through correspondence, got married last year to Yogesh and is expecting her first baby in October. It looks like its raining babies this year end :)) I recently mailed her saying "I miss your poems" and her reply was "No time for that. Only time for work and cooking". Sad, I really do miss them..

Shan (Shanthi), the most flamboyant of us all. With Prats, Shan used to get ragged a lot :) She'd try to rag me and Chans, but would almost always get ragged with double measure :) We used to tease her about a guy, who was younger than her and she'd always deny it ;-) :-D Anyways, that teasing became irrelevant, as she got married to Vinay this very month. Happy married life, Shan :)

Aarts (Aarthi) came from Chennai to get married in Bangalore to Shabari. One of the genuinely nicest girls I have ever met. She used to learn Kannada from Prats, while Prats tried learning Tamil from her. These interactions used to be funny, to say the least :) She is here in US with Shabari working for the same company :) That reminds me, I haven't talked to her for days, have to call her :)

Arun - the kannada pandit. It was always Kannada or Aeroplanes. Oh god!! Sometimes, it'd grate on my nerves :-D But us both being the same age (Ok, he's 10 months older) both being kannadigas and both being in the same team, we became friends very easily. What more, we even used to crib about the same things, played pranks on poor unsuspecting people and sometimes would have intellectual discussions too. I remember there used to be a girl Sandhya sitting behind me. She had lots of phone number extensions written on her board. Arun, Ranjini (another of our friends) and me had added Police -> 100, Fire -> 101 and Ambulance -> 102 into the list of extensions when Sandhya had gone home :) Poor girl, the next day she erased the whole list :-D Arun's now finished his M.S in Germany and will be continuing his PhD there. All the best, buddy!

Sara (Sarada) was in another batch but joined the same team as me. We weren't great friends as such in the first company but we were friends. We became great friends later when we left the first company for the second together. I remember once she had asked me how to spell "Club Cubana", which is a club in Bangalore. I had suggested some 10 suggestions anything from "Klub kabanna" to "Clabb Kabana" hehehehe. She was so infuriated :)) She is still a colleague to me and more than that, a great friend for life :)

Vishesh, a genius, who didn't want to be stuck into our team but had to, was Sara's batch mate. He always used to call Sara as SaraDa with D as in dome :) He'd sit two rows behind me and would ping me on Yahoo saying "hey come here". I'd reply saying "Why should I? You come hee if you want to" :) A very playful and mischievious guy, he was the first person to leave the company to work for another. Now he's in XLRI, Jamshedpur, doing his much-dreamed-of M.B.A.

Kaushik, Pandu (Amruth), Kaashi, Sachin and Tarun - Other batchmates. Kaushik and I would have long mail fights where each of us would try to get the better of the other. I remember calling him "Kauk-a-doodle-do" once :-D Pandu and Kaashi sometimes also would get involved in the fights and both were kings of puns :) Sachin was a pukka kannadiga and would always address everyone as "Maga" meaning son :) Kaushik completed his M.S recently here and got married. Don't know whether he's back in India to stay. Pandu, Kaashi and Sachin are here in U.S still working for the same company. Now coming to Tarun, the genius of the batch, the first to get promoted and a linux geek. You talk to him about Yahoo messenger and he'd give a lecture about how Jabber on Linux is a much better tool than yahoo and so on and so forth :-D The genius is now working in another company :)

I think and hope that I have covered everybody in the batch as such. There were more people in other batches, who were friends, but not were that close :) Another thing is that I used to be known as Dcube then, Dcube as in D to the power of 3 - Dare Devil Deepthi :-D :)))

2 years ago...

I was leaving my first job, saying bye to so many people whom I knew, to enter a totally strange environment, a fresh outlook and a new beginning. Sara and me both resigned together, as I said earlier. But it was still sad in lot of ways. A person is supposed to be emotionally attached to his/her first job and all the colleagues. That holds good for me 10/10. There were tears in my eyes as I said bye to so many wonderful people, most of them continue to be close friends. Some of whom I would like to mention here as this is a dedication:

Keli (Elizabeth), who I consider my guide and mentor is a wonderful person. She is in a different organization now and is the mother of 2 lovely girls Shalakha and Trisha :) She is the sweetest and the most kind-hearted person I have ever met. Sometimes over-sweet ;-) But sweet didn't mean not-naughty. We both got together for a prank once. It was the birthday of a guy by name Rahul. Keli got a cake. I had a tool (courtesy another friend Oneil) from which I could send a mail as anyone to anyone. I sent a mail from Rahul saying "Happy birthday to me, please come and have cake at my desk" to the whole team. Keli carefully sneaked the cake to Rahul's place. The hungaama after that was total fun :-D Rahul was flummoxed, but later found out through the network guys that I had sent the mail :-D Thankfully the network guys were all friends and which is why I was saved :-D Keli, I miss you re..

Viddu (Vidya), another of my close friends and mentor is a fun-loving ever-cheerful person. I learnt how to enjoy work life from her. She used to and even now calls me Jhansi-ki-raani and I used to tease her that I'll influence her kid into becoming like me :-D Yes, she is the proud mother of little Meghs (who's already on her way to become a Jhaansi ki raani :-D) and works for some other company too. I remember once she saw this gorgeous guy in one room and called all of us for our opinions on him :-D She got an opinion form me (unmarried then), Deepa (she was engaged then), Viddu herself was married, Keli was married for 3 years with one kid and Rajashree who was married for 7 years with one kid :)) Survey, she said and we all agreed that the guy was yummy ;-) :)) Viddu is another person I miss..

Oneil was my guru in many ways. He helped me in the initial adjustment into work and later became one of the best friends I ever had. He was the brains behind most of the pranks we played, though sitting in far-away Pune. I used to call him the President of the Devils' Association of India and myself the vice-president :-D I remember once, on Keli's birthday, he made me and Viddu login with "Shalakha" as our names in MSN messenger. He also logged in as "Shalakha" and we all pinged Keli saying "Happy birthday mommy!!" :-D We had had a crazy group conversation that day with 3 Shalakhas talking to their mommy simultaneously and with Keli just not being able to figure out who was who :)) Sadly, I don't even know where Oneil is now.. Its really strange how we lose touch with the best of friends. Have to find out :-D

Dheeraj, an eccentric guy if you can call him that. He used to hate the colur pink and all things related. Wonder what he'd say if I sent him the link to my blog >:) I used to have a nice time ragging him about it. The best part was he used to get a small radio and play it loud in office. He loved the song "Babuji zara dheere chalo" and would shout "Arey waah!" whenever it played. I would playfully shut my ears and say ":-p" :-D I remember on his birthday once, Keli bought a bottle of vodka as a gift. Arun, Keli and me stole his car keys and secretly kept the gift inside. He somehow knew that Keli was behind it, but never heard the actual truth from any of us :-D Now he's in Chicago and he mailed me recently saying he's getting married sometime this year :)

Still wonder why I didn't want to leave my first job? :(

1 year ago...

Sara and me used to discuss "How the heck do people end up getting married?" There seemed to be no Prince Charming in sight. Heck, leave Prince Charming, there wasn't even a normal good guy around. Now she's married and so am I. And both of us married, I can honestly say, to wonderful guys. Made for each other stuff :-D I know that Vaithee is gem of a guy. And yup, Sriram is my Prince Charming :) I cannot believe that last birthday, I didn't even know him and this birthday I cannot imagine not knowing him :) I was asking him recently "Why the heck didn't you come into my life 2 years earlier? I could have been spared of the long wait ;-)" :-D But I guess I needed that time with my parents and Darsh :) Life and God sure work in strange but beautiful ways! Sri, thanks for simply being the person you are :) You don't know how much it means to me..

I know I have left out all the memories of the relatives. But I simply can't place the year the memory has taken place. Like how we used to visit Udupi to be with Ammamma, Gayathri atte and Raghu mava and how Rohi, Ranju, Darshu and me would climb trees, go to beach, pick mangoes etc :) Also how Manjanna and Dineshanna would stay with us, Manjanna's wedding to Devika bhabhi, how I fight with Manjanna's son Kishen (Kishu's my boxing buddy :-D), Puttanna kakka's wedding to Veena aunty where I had a bet with Veena aunty's brother Purandara that who will finish everything in the lunch will be a winner and how I actually had won the bet :-D, the fun times with Puttanna kakka's kids Sankeerna and Sanju (Sanjana) :)) How these 2, me, Ammi akka's kids Manasa and Mahima, Ushakka's kids Pallavi and Pavani used to go to a park near our house to have loads of fun :)) So many memories like these cannot be recorded in a mere blog. They need a complex human brain :-D

Today, I have a whole new family extended from what I had before. I have daddy, amma, Lekha and a whole set of almost-same aged cousins who I have always wished for. I have done the biggest bungee jumping of my life which is marriage (Sri's copyrighted dialogue) and the other bungee jumping as well which was my life-long dream. I have gambled and won :) But I know, there's still much more to be done, many more things to face and a long, long way to go....

So 25 years later, here I am, feeling nostalgic, as if I'm some 75 years old :) Honestly, its been fun thinking of all those moments. Sigh! That's it folks! New memories from now on. After all, life begins at 25 ;-) :-D

Happy Birthday Dad :)

After 24 birthdays being close to you, here's one where I'm far away. But that cannot stop me from posting a small wish:

"Have a great birthday and a great year ahead dad :) Many many Happy returns of the day. Miss you and love you."

I already know you'd have had a great time, what with a movie and a dinner ;-) :-D Wish I was there {sighs}..

Happy Birthday Mommy :)

It feels really strange not to be with mom on her birthday :( I guess this is the first time I've ever been away on her birthday. I sort of feel a bit sad about it, but it isn't like I can suddenly catch an aeroplane and fly out to India :( The situation I'm in can't be helped.

Anyways this is a short post to say:

"Many Many Happy Returns Of The Day Mommy!! Hope you have a very beautiful, joyful and a wonderful birthday :) I miss you and love you a lot."

How weekends fly...

Weekend achcha tha :) Really dunno how time went ;-) Friday evening Susheela aunty came from KGF and I went to pick her up from Sri's cousin Vani's house. All 3 of us went shopping. Vani wanted to buy a kurtha for her hubby Bharath, but after attacking 3 kurtha shops, we didn't find anything she liked :( Later shopped for Mavina ele (mango leaves), Bevina hoovu (Neem flowers), green mangoes, mallige (jasmine) etc. Had dinner at Vani's place where Lekha joined us. By the time we reached home it was 10:30 PM!!! Friday gone :(

Saturday was Ugadi. Parthiva naama samvatsarada ugadiya hardhika shubashayagalu :) (though belated ;-) ). My inlaws celebrate Chandramaana Ugadi, whereas my parents celebrate Sauramaana Ugadi which is on Apr 14th :) So, I get to celebrate it twice :-D Hari uncle came along in the morning. Had to do vegetable shopping as there was almost nothing at home :-D Beligge beligge I went off and completed the mission very successfully ;-) Later head bath and new dress :) Lekha forgot to get her new dress, so went shopping with her and bought her a new one :) Susheela aunty had invited Mom, Dad and Darsh for lunch with us. God, lunch was great :) Had mavinkai chitranna, pachchadi, saaru, dry fruit roll sweet, shaavige paayasa, bevu bella mixture, chips and what not! Wished Sri was with us a 100 times :( Evening we went to Vani's house for her gruha pravesha. Everything seemed to be happening at once and time passed before I could think :-! We finished dinner at about 10:00 PM and still they wouldn't let us leave. They had Housie (Tambola) organized and Vani insisted we play a round and leave. So we stayed and played and I won the Full House :-D Got a five star for my efforts :-D But by the time we reached home, it was 11:30 PM and so went Saturday :(

Now moving on to Sunday. Lekha had given a pooja at the raayara mhata. So we both wore sarees and went to the mhata. Felt good there :) We had to buy a gift for Vani, so went to Angadi silks and bought a saree. Later went to Vani's house where the second part of the function was going on :) Didn't even have breakfast :( had lunch only at about 3:00 PM :( The best part was it started raining after all guests had had lunch and man, that too heavy rain. Dad dropped Hari uncle as he had to catch a train to Hyderabad. Then, Dad, Mom, Susheela aunty and me left for home. I packed up few of my stuff to take to my parents' place (!!!) and then we dropped Susheela aunty where she had to catch a bus to Bijapur in the pouring rain. Went home and literally crashed!! It was raining and there was no electricity, but was so tired, fell asleep almost immediately :) Sunday ended too :(

The only high point was that the weekend was so hectic, I had no/very less time to brood. Yup I missed Sri a lot whenever I was with his side of relatives, but I had lots of fun :) The problem is that the weekend's gone and I don't feel rested at all :( :-D Cribs, cribs and more cribs :-p.

Weekend update :)

Back to work after a sort-of-hectic weekend :)

Friday the 11th (not the 13th :-D), we (Sri, dad, Darsh and me) left for my cousin Manju's place in Hassan and he had a Durga Namaskaara organized on the occasion of his home's anniversary :) We reached at about 7:00 PM in the evening and the pooja went off great. Dinner was excellent too and basically Manju and Devika bhaabhi were happy that Sri and I could make it :). On Saturday, we stayed in Hassan till lunch and then left for Bangalore. We were here by evening 7:00 PM. Sri's cousin, Srikanth was leaving for US and we went to the airport to see him off. Sunday i.e yesterday, we were actually supposed to go to KGF to Triveni maasi's place to attend a Sathyanarayana pooja. But Sri was somehow not feeling that well, so we decided to skip it. But we did go to Vani's (Srivani - another of Sri's cousins) new house to meet Hari (Srihari - Vani's brother) and we spent some time there. Evening we attended Sindhu's (Our family friend Trivikrama Rao's daughter and she's a friend to me too) engagement and enjoyed dinner there. Phew! So went the weekend!!

So what's my crib of the day? :-D Previously, when I was still not married, if there was an invitation to a function, I could always have told my parents to go and I myself need not have attended. Even while attending a wedding reception, I tend to avoid the video cameras. So I would ask my parents to go up the stage and wish, whereas Darsh and me would remain seated neeche ;-) But now since Sri and me are the only ones, we have to attend each and every function we've been invited to. We have to be the ones to go up on stage too. Does that mean I am complaining about the people who are inviting us? Definitely not!! If they don't invite us, I'd probably get offended :-D I'm just cribbing for cribbing sakes ;-)