*********************************************************************************************
*********************************************************************************************
The facade...
Days beckon with
infinite drive.
Nights sink tired;
Crash dive.
The body dances
the daily grind..
The mind droops,
feeling confined..
The inside me wants
to cut and run..
The outside me has
worries none.
Uncertainty questions
"Am I really needed?"
Confidence prevails,
all doubts receded.
Behind a joyous mask
sadness taunts..
Behind a brave facade
vulnerability haunts..
Oh joy!
In the earth so green,
That it hurts the eye.
In the deep blue wrap
Shrouding the silky sky..
In wings that fly outside,
Chirping and singing..
In children that play inside,
Their giggles ringing..
In the melliferous voice
Riding the radio waves..
In gurgling waterfalls,
Tall mountains, cold caves..
In colours of flowers
Be it bluebells or daffodils..
In colours of dawn or dusk..
In warmths and in chills..
In the crimson sun,
that bids stars goodbyes..
In the velvety night's
Soft whispers and sighs
Happiness lurks
At every corner and nook.
All you have to know
Is just where to look.
Today is the day Sri and I met 6 years ago. Wanted to do something special for that and thought of writing a poem. But when it comes to Sri, I have written so many poems that its very difficult to think of a non-repeating matter :-D. So well, I decided to write in Kannada this time. Its been a long time since I wrote a Kannada poem (probably more than 10-12 years back) and I have never written one for my blog, somehow never wanted to. Well, better late than never. I tried my level best to translate it into English but the feelings weren't being expressed as good, so this one is specially for the Kannada knowing readers of my blog :). You know who it is dedicated to :).
ನನ್ನವನೆ...
ಕನಸಿನ ನಾನಾ ಗೋಜಲುಗಳಿಂದ
ನನಸಾಗಿ ಇಳಿದು ಬಂದವನೆ.
ಮನಸಿನ ಕವಿತೆಯಲಿ ಬೆರೆತು ಅರಿತು
ಬಯಕೆ ಹೂಗುಚ್ಛವ ತಂದವನೆ.
ಮೆಲ್ಲನೆ ಮಾತಲಿ ಎಳೆದು ಸೆಳೆದು
ಹೃದಯದ ಬಾಗಿಲ ತೆರೆದವನೆ.
ಸಲ್ಲದ ನಾಚಿಕೆಯ ಬಂಧವ ಕಡಿದು
ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ಮೆರೆದವನೆ.
ಆತಂಕ ಆವೇಶಗಳ ಬಡೆದೋಡಿಸಿ
ನನ್ನೆದೆಯಲಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಹಡೆದವನೆ.
ಸಂತಸ ದುಃಖಗಳ ಸಪ್ತಪದಿಯನ್ನು
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೆ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಇಟ್ಟು ನಡೆದವನೆ.
ನೋವು ನಲಿವಲ್ಲಿ ಬಾಳ ಸಂಗಾತಿಯಾದ
ಪ್ರಾಣ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನು ನೀನವನೆ.
ಜೀವನದ ಅನೇಕ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯಗಳಲಿ
ನನ್ನ ಪಾಲಿನ ವಿಸ್ಮಯ ನನ್ನವನೆ.
The war
Tumultuous waves bombard the very cores
Of inert rocks and long forgotten shores..
Incessant rain erodes the broken earth
Insensitive of the damage to home and hearth..
A strong wind turns into a hurricane gale
Crushing the spirits of trees, already frail..
Fires rage south and north, west and east
Scorching on their way, all man and beast..
Thoughts harass, pester and never retreat
Until the battered heart admits absolute defeat.
Flowers everywhere
Fragrance in the air..
Roads that bring cheer
Smiles there and here..
The bulbs are in bloom
Dissipating the gloom..
Gladness fill my heart
Sorrows miles apart..
Not a chill in sight
Warmth day and night..
Mother Nature is awake,
Back from her winter break.
The sights are divine
Time to rise and shine :).
(As you can see, have been busy with photography experimentation. More soon :-D).
The birth...
I feel it beckoning in the fresh blush of a dawn,
In the frenzied scramble of a noon going right,
In the camaraderie of an enchanted sundown,
In the pitch-black silence of a tranquil night..
I feel it glistening in the dew on an April bloom,
In the glittering green trees of a full July forest,
In the filling of senses from October leaf hues,
In the sparkle of snow on a December cold fest..
I feel it shimmer in the luxury of velvety softness,
In the sting of humid water against frosty skin,
In the bite of the chill seeping from the ground,
In the content of a rest for the weariness within..
I feel it taunting in the relish of a tempting aroma,
In the savour of eats delighting palate and soul,
In the haunting composition of a cherished melody,
In the serene visuals that make the being whole..
I feel it summoning in a painter's masterpiece,
In the intriguing intensity of a writer's pining tales,
In the inspiration from a poet's meaningful verse,
In the perspiration oozing out of a sculpture's details..
I feel it gleaming in the simple trust of innocence,
In the twinkle of eyes up to some naughty guile,
In the affection that doesn't waver come what may,
In the pride of triumph accompanying a joyous smile..
I feel it pulsing in the sighs of a cozy embrace,
In the unspoken words of hands held together,
In the enamoured moments full of tender murmurs,
In the longing of a heartbeat to beat with another..
I feel it lurking in the depth of my overzealous brain,
In the cognizant tremble of my nostalgic heart.
I feel it begin, blossom, exaggerate and explode,
An immature idea of a poem at its earliest start.
Torn..
Between the foolish musings of the heart
And the sound judgement of the mind..
Between the reminiscences of the good old days
And the promises of the forthcoming..
Between the distress of unfulfilled dreams
And the content of the ones attained..
Between the repentance of the words spoken
And the anguish of those left unsaid..
Between the elation of life in an alluring country
And the loved ones forsaken in another..
Between the reveries of what could have happened
And the absoluteness of what has..
I wrote this one a few months back, somehow never posted it. Doesn't really feel upto the mark to some of my others, but oh well, its still my effort :).Split second..
A snowflake
On the ground
Melting into a tear-drop;
An ember
In the fireplace
Burning to ashes non-stop;
A raindrop
From a cloud
Falling to its demise;
A sound wave
Part of a thunder
Losing clarity after its rise;
A ray of sunlight
In the west
Fading away to the horizon;
A fallen leaf
On the grass
Oblivious to its destruction;
An insignificant life
On this earth
Well-lived and well-wished;
A moment
Of ticking time
Remembered and relished;
He is the tolerance to my impatience.
He is the clarity to my absurdity.
He is the calmness to my excitement.
He is the sweetness to my causticity.
He is the composure to my agitation.
He is the sanity to my madness.
He is the silence to my chatter.
He is the action to my laziness.
He is the certainty to my indecision.
He is the safety to my vulnerability.
He is the elegance to my awkwardness.
He is the strength to my fragility.
He is the balm to my soul.
Happy 32nd birthday my hubby, my friend, my soulmate :).
Its strange that I don't know what to write for this post. I have always known exactly what to write for each birthday post. But today I am so overwhelmed, so overcome with emotion that I cannot really think straight. What do I write about? About how Snugli has changed my life? How I have grown the past year or actually how she has grown the past year? How her impact on our lives is? How she has managed to be a part of every moment of my life? How important she is to me? How I still can't believe she's 1 year old already? How I still sometimes think I'm dreaming all this?
Can you see the above lilypie ticker? She's 1! She's 1! Oh my god, she's 1 year old, I say!
Was it only last year that I was still in the hospital with the pains increasing moment by moment and I telling the baby to wait until its December 19th (just because I wanted the same date in US and India :-\)? I am writing this post Dec 18th night, so sue me :-p. Its a cliche, but it seems just like yesterday when I started getting pains in the evening and we drove to the hospital. It seems just like yesterday when my parents were here holding my hands whenever a wave of pain would hit me and Sri was constantly watching over me. It seems like so much has happened in such a short time. Our baby is standing all on her own now and takes 2 steps (thats it :(, but well, I know I'll start complaining non-stop once she starts running all over the place :-p). She has 6 teeth now (4 upper and 2 lower incissors), has already gotten haircuts twice (!), recognizes 90% of her toys by name and has recently started to point towards things that she wants and screams if she doesn't get them :-p :-D.
I can't believe I came up with a poem in a matter of minutes, I swear its the truth :).
You point to airplanes and birds
Cooker, balloons and fireplace..
Walk holding onto sofas and tables
And people with a smiling face..
Whenever you do not approve
Of things happening around you,
The twinkle in your lovely eyes
Changes to tears as if on cue!
How did a little one so young
Who knew only how to loudly bawl,
Learn to smile, laugh and play,
Start to roll, creep and crawl?
Now you are standing on your own feet
Pressing buttons to play sounds
Dancing to the tunes your toys make
Never staying within your bounds..
But I'd never have it any other way
May you continue to be who you are
Brighten the lives of all around you.
Happy birthday to you, my little star.
Happy first birthday, my little Snoogli bear :)
(This was taken on Snugli's birthday as per the Hindu calendar which was on 8th December this year).
Another mushy post from me, sorry..Missing you..
Its not that I cannot see without you,
But you are my eyes' first choice..
Its not that I cannot hear without you,
But my ears long to hear your voice..
Its not that I cannot talk without you,
But my words wish to reach your ears..
Its not that I cannot eat without you,
But few morsels and hunger disappears..
Its not that I cannot smile without you,
But even my joy is somewhat strained..
Its not that I cannot feel without you,
In fact my feelings are too unrestrained..
Its not that I cannot breathe without you,
But my nose yearns for your fragrance..
Its not that I cannot live without you,
But my whole being misses your presence..
Sometimes I find myself singing this song without my knowledge - "Na jaane kyon" from the movie Choti is baath..
Thanks to YouTube and user ilovehrishida for the video.
Wohi hein dagar, Wohi hein safar,
Hein nahi, Saath mere magar, Ab mera humsafar,
Idhar udhar doonde nazar, Wohi hein dagar..
Kaha gayi shaame madh bhari?
Woh mere, mere woh din gaye kidhar?
Na jaane kyon hota hein ye zindagi ke saath,
Achaanak ye mann, kisike jaane ke baad,
Kare fir uski yaad, choti choti si baath..
Na jaane kyon..
Sigh :(((. 2 more weeks until Sri lands here :(((. But on a lighter note, the line about my hunger "disappearing" is a blatant lie. I'm a hungry mama-shark since I have a little shark dependent on me :-D.
I am posting another kannada song today on account of Valentine's. Again no video :). The song is from the movie "Mungaru Male". I wasn't as impressed with the movie as I was with the song (I'm sure many kannada film fans will be after my life after that dialogue ;-) :-D).
The song is "Anisutide yaako indu", sung by Sonu Nigam. The lyrics are, in one word, beautiful. Sonu's voice + the lyrics are enough to reduce anyone to shivers :). I have been addicted to it for a few months now. Can you believe that I even listened to it in the hospital after delivering Snuggles? Sri had his laptop there and so I did :-D.Mungaaru Male - An...
The lyrics go like this:
Anisutide Yaako Indu, Neene Ne Nannavalendu
Mayada Lokadinda, Nanagaage Bandavalendu
Aaha Yenta Madhura Yaatane
Kollu Hudugi Omme Nanna, Haage Summane
Anisutide Yaako Indu...
Suriyuva Soneyu Sooside Ninnade Parimala
Innyara Kanasalu Neenu Hodare TaLamala
Poorna Chandira Rajaa Haakida Ninnaya Mogavanu Kanda Kshana
Naa Khaidi Neene Seremane
Tappi Nanna Appiko Omme, Haage Summane
Anisutide Yaako Indu...
Tutigala Hoovali AaDada Matina Sihi Ide
Manasina Putadali Kevala Ninnade Sahi Ide
Haneyali Bareyada Ninna Hesara Hrudayadi Naane Korediruve
NinagunTe Idara Kalpane?
Nanna Hesara Kooge Omme, Haage Summane
Anisutide Yaako Indu...
I'm trying my hand at translation here, please forgive me if you spot too many mistakes. Poet's liberty, you see ;-).
I am feeling today somehow, that you are the one for me.
From a magical world, you have come here just for me.
Oh what a sweet torment!
Kill me once, girl, simply because..
Light sprinkling rain is emanating only your fragnance.
Your presence in others' dreams causes in me, a disturbance.
The full moon went on a holiday, the moment he saw your face.
I am a prisoner, you are the confinement!
Hug me by mistake once, simply because..
In the flowers of your lips, sweetness of unspoken words exists.
In the pages of my mind, only your signature subsists.
Your name that wasn't on my forehead, I myself have now etched it in my heart.
Do you even have an inkling of this, a hint?
Say my name just once, simply because..
What a girl wouldn't give to hear her guy say this to her? (Sri, did you get the hint? ;-) ;-) :-D). Happy Valentine's day everyone!
She..
She sings
Ambiguous words,
Yet sounds so sweet..
She dances,
Moves intricately,
To an inaudible beat..
She paints
Imaginary strokes
With vigourous hands..
She directs
And orchestrates
Invisible symphonic bands..
She dreams
Mysterious visions
Which make her smile..
She laughs
To voiceless jokes,
Without any guile..
She kicks
Whimsical goals,
As if to win a cup..
She cries
Cries! I have to go,
Hurry and pick her up!
I complete 36 weeks today. That means the baby is "full-term" and may decide to make a grand entry into this world anytime it wants ;-). The longer it stays inside, the better ofcourse :). I decided that I'd write a poem for this happy occasion and since there is no one stopping me from doing what I want, you have to suffer reading through it :-D. Please do enjoy the self-depreciating humour :-p.Baby blues..
Pregnancy has its big ups and downs
Very less of up and more of a down
My stomach feels like a huge balloon
Which can't fly or hasn't yet flown..
I struggle to sit when I'm lying down,
Standing after sitting is just no fun.
Walking after standing is another test,
While running is out of the question!
Bending is a torment and so is bowing,
I cave in after wee bit of a walk.
No comfort thanks to bad backaches,
I feel exhausted even when I talk!
My centre of gravity is in disarray,
Intuitively my spine bends backward.
After waddling like a penguin for hours,
A series of kicks inside is my reward!
So why go through this lengthy ordeal?
Why withstand the pregnancy pitfall?
Its because a soft warm baby in my arms
Is finally going to be worth it all..
I took this photo in Miami City beach. The photo was a sudden inspiration and so were the 2 ideas for poetry that attacked me. I couldn't let either of the ideas go, so well, wrote 2 poems :).
Footprints...
1) Footprints.. 2) Footprints.. We enter this world totally dependent,
Even crawling, later walking is a strain.
But soon we learn to walk, then to run,
Footprints vanish, moments remain..
Our parents lead us through childhood,
Hold our hands through joy and pain.
Bandage aches when we fight and play,
Footprints vanish, emotions remain..
We burst into adolescence with a bang!
We love, we crib, we care, we complain.
We strive to achieve more in less time,
Footprints vanish, triumphs remain..
We move on to a self-sufficient world
On to work and other things mundane.
Marriage, children, so on, on and on,
Footprints vanish, deeds remain..
And so we walk in every stage of life,
Be it in sunshine or be it in rain.
We walk like there is no tomorrow.
Footprints vanish, memories remain..Every person walks to a different beat,
One may strut while another may pace.
One may be the legendary slow tortoise,
While another prefers to run the race.
One maybe satisfied to remain behind,
While another walks to newer heights.
One maybe content to sit in the dark,
While another walks to brighter lights.
One may shout at others to catch up,
While another may plead to go slow.
One may have heavy burdens to bear,
While another may be swift as a doe.
One may have no time to stop and sigh,
While another may take a breath or two.
While one may fret on the long journey,
Another may consider it long overdue.
No matter where you decide to tread,
Or how you hike life's hard terrain.
Footprints on the path may soon vanish,
Nevertheless memories always remain..
No answers..
What do you do when a dream
Unexpectedly comes true?
Do you applaud?
Do you feel awed?
How can you measure
that which you vastly treasure?
What do you do when a pain
Lingers in your being?
Do you cure?
Do you endure?
How can you forget
that which memory cannot reset?
What do you do when a moment
Makes you happy?
Do you smile?
Laugh a while?
How can you secure
that which no camera can capture?
What do you do when a person
Touches your heart?
Do you cry?
Do you sigh?
How can you confess
that which words cannot express?
The Sense Of A Poem
I'm not a poet, yet
Thoughts have a mind of their own.
They grow and when they have grown,
Feel about the known and unknown..
I'm not a poet, yet
Thoughts observe day and night,
Criticize things left and right.
They have an opinion on every sight..
I'm not a poet, yet
Thoughts sense the smell of an event,
The nuances and layers of an element,
Be it may in past, future or present..
I'm not a poet, yet
Thoughts sound like restless apes,
Sounds which then form multiple shapes
Until every single distraction escapes..
I'm not a poet, yet
Thoughts always want to have a say.
Their determination will not sway.
Only when I write, do, at rest they lay.
The Blog poem
There's a place on the web
Where I pen down my thoughts.
I write this, that and more
I type lots, lots and lots..
I write poems, I put pictures
I write huge posts on my travels
I write about my on-going life
As it slowly but surely unravels..
I started writing two years ago
I hope it goes on to three
Then to five, ten, fifteen, twenty
Until the ultimate end of me!
Nostalgia..
It just seems like yesterday
When I learnt first to talk.
Held safely by my parents' hands
When I was taught how to walk..
It just seems like yesterday
When I stepped out of the house.
Studied, played, made new friends
Fights, exams and all such grouse..
It just seems like yesterday
When life turned yet another page.
Crushes, mischief, complex subjects
There was so much to do in college..
It just seems like yesterday
When I first became independent.
Faced my first job and workplace
The first time my money, I spent..
It just seems like yesterday
When I met the man of my dreams
Two years of bliss have flown
Like moments, or so it seems..
It just seems like yesterday
And so it always probably will..
I only hope when I'm old and frail,
It'll all feel like yesterday, still...
Similes For Love
Like a sharp thorn protects a rose,
Like a sting is the armour of a bee..
Like a shell safeguards a turtle,
Your love always looks out for me.
Like water helps the plants thrive,
Like bees survive on sweet honey..
Like little grains that birds peck on,
Your love is the nourishment for me.
Like a kite bound by a thick string,
Like a wind that pushes clouds gently..
Like a tree holding onto its leaves,
Your love lets me fly, yet chains me.
Like a volcano exists because of lava,
Like most humans are after money..
Like breath, food, clothes and shelter,
Your love means the life to me.
