Content..

Yesterday Sri and I were lying on our stomachs on the carpet while Snugli and Sunny climbed all over us plying us with hugs and kisses. At that moment, I felt happy. I didn't have a care in the world. I'm sure I sound facetious, but I really don't care that many others have more money than me or that other women have a better career than me. I can afford to be generous because life has been good to me. I am content :).

Andddddddddddd I'm back baby :).

7 stitches in time..

3 days ago, if you had asked me when I have fainted in my life, you would have heard an emphatic "never" as an answer. Sigh, things have to change, right? My first faint happened on 10th Feb night at around 7:30 PM and how!

You know I was ill. Sri kept insisting on going to the doctor, but I had somehow put it off thinking that things will get better the next day. Moreover the plain fact was that I just was too sick of even thinking of getting up and getting out in the cold weather. Well, things weren't looking better at all, so on that fateful Wednesday evening, we headed to an Urgent Treatment center nearby to get me checked up. The checking in stuff was a bit slow for an "urgent" treatment center, but somehow got through that and soon was in the examination room. Since I was a bit weak and my brain wasn't running to its optimum speed, I had asked Sri to be with me when the doctor asked me questions, so in turn even Snugli was there for the incident. I told the doctor about the tablets I was taking and that I wasn't able to eat at all - as soon as I took a few bites I would feel full and nauseous.

They found that my blood pressure was a bit low and said that I was dehydrated. The doctor said that they would give me an injection for the nausea and hence I should atleast be able to eat/drink a little bit better. The nurse came in with the injection and here the story has to be split to give different perspectives :-p.

Deepthi's story:

The nurse told me that there would be a burning sensation when the shot would be given, so I expected that. But not the immediate reeling of my head. Suddenly I was in this calm place with some nice music playing - like this nice dream that people are trying to wake you up from and you don't want to get up. When I did come to, there was something cold being pressed to my forehead and my forehead as well as upper lip were paining like crazy. For a few moments I didn't even realize that I was lying on the ground, I was sitting on the examination chair when I was given the shot and hence thought that I was lying on that.

Sri's/the nurse's story:

The nurse gave the shot, put a bandage on (I don't remember getting the band-aid either) and turned to throw the injection to the dustbin. The next thing they know, I was falling to the floor directly on my face (make that forehead and upper lip, I don't know how my nose escaped hitting the ground) and there was nothing anybody could do about it. They still don't know whether I hit my forehead on the floor or a chair leg, but immediately the doctor was called and they turned me over to my back. I had blood flowing from my forehead and upper lip and obviously bad cuts both places and they started putting cold compresses for both.

Well, fun times eh? They got me up to the examination chair where the doctor determined that the cut on the forehead was deep and she didn't know whether she could stitch it up without scarring it up. Plus she wanted a CAT scan done so we had to go to the emergency room (ER) of a hospital for that. By this time, my brain was back to its optimum function and I said that I would get the stitches as well as the scan at the hospital (well, there is this old story, where I got stitches from a general physician and there's a blatant scar on my leg to this day and I certainly didn't want a repeat of that on my forehead with this general physician :-p. The story I'll talk about some other time). And so we got checked out and Sri took me to yet another hospital which we hadn't yet explored here in Lexington and after initial formalities, they soon got me on a bed and answering questions.

They did a pregnancy test since there would be lots of radiation in the CAT scan and then the scan itself on the head and the neck (cannot believe I am learning the full form of CAT - Computerized Axial Tomography, today!). Meanwhile Sri took Snugli to one of his colleague's house for dinner. By the time he got back, the CAT results were up - thankfully everything was okay with my head and neck and the surgeon was about to stitch up my forehead. One thing I like about doctors here, they tell you everything :-D. Its like a constant commentary on whats going on. He told me how he's using small sutures so that the scar would not be prominent and that my upper lip cut would not require any. And so I got 7 stitches on my forehead and a glue to support my upper lip. I'm supposed to go back for stitch removal after another 2 days. The surgeon kept saying how he was sorry that I was having a bad day and I remember thinking "you don't know the half of it" :-D.

So you can see, all has been well with my household the previous few days :-p. Its still not the end of the story, but an ongoing saga, so I can't say these are the learnings from the thing or whatever, but sort of ongoing observations:

1) I managed to successfully scar another person for life. Darsh keeps teasing me that he was scarred for life when he saw the gory sight of some white stuff and blood in my chipped off leg (in the incident mentioned above) and now its the turn of Snugli. The poor thing was a witness to the entire fall and the gory sight of the gaping hole in my head and was saying "Amma Amma" when I came to. Maybe she and Darsh can compare stories and notes later on how they were impacted, hehehehe :-D. Seriously speaking, I don't think she even remembers it now :-).

2) No matter how bad a situation is, I have realized that it can never get to my sense of humour :-D. We went to the second hospital and the surgeon actually asked me "Do you know where you are?" and I laughed out loud. Despite the pain, the trauma, the everything!! I was reminded of the very filmy "Mein kaun huun?", "Mein kahaan huun?" etc, hehehee.

3) I never knew what fainting was about. Now that I know, it feels strange to miss out on a few seconds of your own life (a few seconds was all it took) and to rely on others to find out what happened to you. I had this classmate who'd faint all the time and I remember scorning at her for being so weak. Now I can sympathize more and understand the helplessness of it all.

4) Whenever something bad happens, we think why? I find myself wondering what I did to deserve this. I keep replaying incidents from my India trip and thinking that maybe I behaved badly with people and this is the reward. Yeah, thats the depression speaking. But then no matter how I behaved, this is me. This is the person I am. This is what you get. This is not an epiphany. I'm not going to become a saint/sorceror just because this happened. And so I convince myself that this has nothing to do with what I did in the past. Heck, God has better things to do, right? But then I regress and get right back to it :(.

5) Another reality check has been about looks. I always thought I wasn't too obsessed with my looks (I am a little bit obsessed, but who isn't?), but this incident has sorta brought me down to earth. Right now, I have a hugggge gash on my upper forehead and the entire forehead area is swollen. Plus a scar on my upper lip + entire upper lip swollen. I look like a version of Rohini Hattangadi in that weird makeup applied by Sridevi in the movie Chaalbaaz, hehehee (here's the scene on youtube). Yup, I have a sense of humour about it, but my self esteem has taken a beating. I keep looking at Sri's eyes to find out whether he looks at me differently. Pathetic, I know. He doesn't, but the doubts don't stop. Atleast with Snugli I know for sure, the child doesn't know the meaning of pretense yet. I wonder whether I'll ever look like myself again. Or is this the new me? :(((. I am even afraid to say "it can only get better from now on", thats what I thought before I went to the treatment center :(.

I am grateful, believe me, that I didn't hurt my eyes or nose or teeth or fracture the skull. I'm only upset that this has overshadowed the good times I had in the India trip and the stuff I had planned for this month. But I'll survive :).

Anyhow, they say a stitch in time saves nine, so 7 stitches in time? Saved me from looking like a cyborg with a large hole on its forehead :-D. Although, that would have been really cool in an alternate world :-D.

Shooting saga continued..

Much discussion has been going on about the shooting a few days ago. First of all, Cho Seung-hui sent a tape/pictures of himself to a NBC (he's supposed to have posted the package between the shootings!). So there has been much talking on whether the news channels should show the videos or not (well, all of the channels played them non-stop the first day they were released and the next day declared that they were sympathetic to the victims' families and stopped playing them). One point of view being that people should know why he did it while the opposite saying that showing the video might influence other people into following in his footsteps. God! Its TV for heaven's sake. If you don't want to watch, there is a power-off button, in case you didn't know!

Secondly, people have been saying how mentally ill Cho was. How mentally, he was a boiling cauldron ready to explode. And what we can do to recognize such mental illness in some kids and stop them from harming other people. Gimme a break! How do you determine somebody's mental health? Just because somebody is depressed, can you lock them up? Everybody is a bit crazy in their own way. What's the measure of this "craziness"?? What if a very decent person, behaving normally, suddenly heads off into a shooting rampage? What'll be the explanation of that then?? The kids play violent video games and watch more violence on TV and in movies. Why don't you discuss about that? Why don't you say they are corrupting the children and make a move to stop those?

Thirdly it seems now there is a paranoia about Oriental men. They are being looked at suspiciously just like Middle eastern people were after 9/11 (they are still being looked at like that at present). People are nuts! What happened to the fact that it was Americans who did all the shooting and raping in the Katrina incident? So will you be scared of your neighbour eh? Won't get out of the house? What about yourself? How can you trust "you"?? Again, the media is having a field day interviewing Oriental men on whether they are being discriminated against. They try to exploit every fear a person can ever have and actually succeed in spreading more panic!

What people don't seem to be discussing a lot is about Gun control. Do you know how easy it is to get a gun in the state of Virginia? All that is needed is a driver's licence and no criminal record! Can you believe that! I can go and get a gun without being asked any questions! And I haven't even seen a real gun (except some in museums and movies :-\) and have no clue how to operate one! But I can buy one if I feel like it! A 16-year old gets a DL here. So if he/she has no past criminal record, they can walk into a gun shop and walk out with a gun. Its totally unbelievable! But nobody wants to talk about changing that. Why? Is that because all these gun manufacturers "feed" the Government?

The media can talk, talk and talk more but end up accomplishing nothing. I really feel irritated whenever they say "Oh the police had arrested him before but they never realized..." or interview a roommate to ask "And you never thought this guy could be like this?". The roommates are not psychics, nor are the police miracle workers! I know some introverted people, doesn't mean they are killers! Tomorrow even if one of them turns out to be a killer, how am I supposed to know? Guess work? The worse part is none of this talk is going to change the fact for the 32 people who died and their grieving families. Philosophically you can say their time was up or whatever. But the pain of a loved one taken away, is only felt by the one who has lost them...

May the victims' souls rest in peace..

Land of dreams??????

• Gunman slaughters more than 30



• More than 30 people were killed Monday in a shooting rampage at Virginia Tech, according to university officials -- making it the deadliest school shooting incident in U.S. history. Virginia Tech President Charles Steger called the killings "a tragedy of monumental proportions."



• Gunman identified as Cho Seung-hui, a 23-year-old English major from South Korea.



• Ballistics tests show one of the guns found was used in the dorm and classroom building shootings

Taken from CNN.

Land of dreams, land of opportunities, became a land of tragedy yesterday for so many students. The main question on most of the people's minds is "Why?". Why does a young student want to kill same-aged students? Why? Why so much rage? Why make innocents the victims of this rage?

It seems it all started yesterday April 16th 2007 morning at about 7:15 AM when police recieved a call about 2 shootings at the West Ambler Johnston Hall at Virginia Tech University. They barricaded that hall, but based on the initial information decided that it was something related to domestic shooting. Hence the campus wasn't closed and the students weren't informed, so that campus life could go on as normal. But later at 9:15 AM, again shootings were heard at Norris Hall (the engineering department). Police stormed in to discover the shooter had shot many students (31 of them died, others have multiple injuries) and himself in the end. Though there have been shootings at schools in the past, this is the bloodiest and highest in body count.

It seems there wasn't a shooting victim that didn't have less than three bullet wounds in them. God!! I still don't understand the rage that could have caused such a terrible tragedy. I mean, how can anyone do such a thing! I don't "get" it!

Imagine the situation of the parents. The victims were all mostly young students (some were professors), dreaming so many dreams for the future and building the required foundation for a wonderful life. Its always difficult when a young life is taken. Not that the old aren't important. But the young people hadn't even "lived" their lives. Two people, one a professor and the other a student of Indian origin passed away in this incident (yesterday according to an Indian newspaper, no Indians died and hence this is an update..). Its even more difficult for the parents of international students. First of all, most of these students are on financial aid, so their parents may not be that strong financially. Moreover there are hassles of visa. Though there is an emergency visa available, imagine going to the consulate for visa stamping at a time when your child is dead on the other side of the world!All in all what a waste of lives!

The media, as usual, is having a field day! They are interviewing students, police and have even brought in their security analysts to "analyse" the situation. They are also repeatedly playing videos of the campus and interivewing family members of the victims again and again! The Don Imus racial slur controversy, the Anna Nicole's baby's father identity and the Iraq war tragedy, that were overwhelmingly overpoweringly present all over the TV just 2 days ago, are not to be seen at all now. Just shows how the media use a tragedy to increase their own ratings. Its outrageous! I'm sure next they'll interview a pschychologist to determine the mind-state of the killer, some other University president who'll probably talk about what they are doing to protect the students, another police superintendent for tips on how to protect yourself if a killer is out in the hall and so on. Heck! They'll probably even get a gun specialist to show how easy it is to buy and use a gun, in the process influence other young future killers! They'll milk it for all its worth and I'm sort of disgusted with the whole thing right now.

This is not the first time a shooting has happened in the school. In this particular case, the shooter was a South Korean. But there have been other cases where twelve students and a teacher were killed because of 2 American teenagers shooting them (Columbine High School Massacre, Colorado). There was even another story where a 12-year old kid shot another 12-year old friend accidentally! Why are the guns so "accessible"?? Why the heck? How can a young 12-year old get his/her hands on a gun and even know how to operate it??? Aren't the parents looking at what their kids are doing? Or are the kids so sneaky that they are fooling their parents into thinking that they are innocent??

I don't understand it. The government schools here are the best, providing all sorts of facilities to the kids (unlike the Indian government schools which are practically sheds). Free education is given to kids until the age of 16. Free transportation is provided in the form of buses. There are even road rules around these buses to protect the kids from traffic hazards. The private schools are strictly for the elite rich. Despite all sort of convenience, why do the children move towards drugs and violence? Is it a case of too much good? There are children struggling to come up in other parts of the world, but here, though they have everything, why do they get into all things "bad"??

Few years ago there was a huggge rise in number of deaths of kids due to Choking game. The game involves strangling one self to induce near unconsciousness by restriction of the supply of oxygen to the brain. The instructions (a step-by-step guide) for this particular dangerous game were freely available on the internet in non-child-restricted websites. The worse thing was that the parents were clueless about this particular game while it was a "hot" new trend at schools. It seems it gives a "high" like a drug. The parents usually found out about it only when their children ended up dead (most of the times this was thought to be suicide!!). Whats a parent to do in such a case? Again the children have everything here, yet it seems 250 to 1,000 young people die in the United States each year playing some variant of this choking game! Crazy, I tell you!

Recently there was another report of a 17 year old boy not only smoking pot (marijuana) himself, but giving it to his 2- year old and 5-year old nephews to smoke too. A 2 year old smoking pot!! Whats the world coming to? The little boys weren't even aware of what they were doing, but shouldn't a 17-year old know what the effects of smoking, moreover smoking marijuana are? The guy was not only guilty of handing it out to the little boys, but of taking a video of this for his obvious enjoyment! The young children were literally staggering due to the drug effects!

Also, there have been cases of child molesting by priests, how more horrible can it get? A man who you trust with the kids might be the one who ends up harming them, scarring them for life! If even a God's place like a church isn't safe then what place is? If a protector becomes a predator, whats a child to do? Whats a parent to do?

Land of dreams eh? Looke like its certainly not for the children! No place in the world is probably safe for kids, but this is literally scary! How can parents not be worried about their children in this kind of environment? Not that it happens everywhere in US, but the instances are so many, that its frightening. Even if you trust your child enough that he/she will not get involved with drugs and the choking game, whats the guarantee that he/she will not be shot by a classmate? Obviously all students cannot be made to wear bullet proof vests or the campus security can't be so serious as to check all the students for guns daily (well, maybe it will be after such a "massacre" as they are calling it). Yes, there have to be changes brought in terms of gun accessibility. Yes, there has to be education provided to the children on ill-effects of such trends.

Meanwhile, I guess all parents can do is to do their best to inform children of all hazards and leave the rest to fate and God..

Spinach deprivation :(

One or the other thing keeps happening for the media to report, highlight and to have as a major alert news. The latest in US is the lovey-dovey relationship between spinach and Escherichia Coli (E.Coli) bacteria. Its not as lovey-dovey as it sounds as it is proving hazardous (there have been more than 100 people affected so far and even a death). So whats the current trend? Don't eat spinach!





Spinach or Palak as we Indians know it, is a commonly used sabji in our households. I cannot claim that life doesn't go on without spinach :-p, but yeah we do use it atleast once a week in some form or the other - palak tovve or parata or palak gobhi and so on.

Last week when I went to the supermarket for the weekly grocery shopping, I saw a bunch of spinach and immediately put it in the shopping cart. The reason being that it had already been more than a week since I had made anything with it. The very next day, Sri told me that there was an E.Coli outbreak and it was pin pointed to the fresh spinach out in the market. Well, we always wash and cook spinach before we eat it and it seems though the washing doesn't offer any protection, the cooking does kill the bacteria, but who wants to take a risk? So I had to throw the whole bunch into the dust bin :(.

Previously, there have been quite a few outbreaks of E.Coli in US, but that was mainly due to raw beef. Most of the strains of this particular bacteria are perfectly harmless but a few are responsible for some severe infections. More details here. The one thats circulating right now can cause infection with symptoms diarrhea and vomiting, and the bacteria can lead to more severe complications, particularly in the very young or elderly, including anemia and kidney failure (yeah stole the sentence straight from CNN :-D).

And somehow spinach is the carrier this time. Some people are blaming the manure and others are even speculating foul play (!) :-p. But the spinach farmers are in deep trouble as it has been taken off the shelves of every supermarket and people are being advised not to consume any spinach at all. But I'm sure the government will come up with some sort of compensation for the whole thing.

Well, the choice is easy right? Spinach or no infection? Obviously no infection. But whenever I see spinach in news, on web pages etc, I can't help remembering that its has been weeks now since I've made and eaten anything with palak in it (after all thats the human weakness, we crave for anything we can't have :-p) and it maybe weeks more until spinach will be in the clear again...

Oh Popeye, whatever will you do? ;-).

Up, Up and down :(

Sometimes things happen quite unexpectedly. When it is a tragedy, people start asking "Why?". One such tragedy struck our town on Sunday, 27th August 2006 early morning around 6:15 AM. A Comair flight going from Lexington, KY to Atlanta, GA, carrying 50 people (47 passengers and 3 crew members) crashed as soon as it took off, killing everyone except one (Latest news here). This is supposedly the first plane crash in US after 9/11. The one survivor is the first officer of the flight, still battling for his life in a hospital right now. I guess, nobody can determine whether he's a survivor or not..

It came as a very big shock to us. Why? Because we are hardly 4 miles away from the airport!! Though we can't really see the take-offs and landings, we generally see the planes that have taken off or are about to land. We didn't hear anything though there was supposedly an explosion (the reason may have been that we were sleeping like kumbakarnas :-p. Also can't expect sound to travel 4 miles :-p). We came to know about the whole thing only when Sri turned on the morning news. I cannot really describe why it was scary. Maybe because we have started taking planes for granted. Maybe it is because our house is considerably near to the airport. Or maybe because every single person except one guy died!!

Speculations started immediately. Most probably there was a mechanical failure on the flight. There was no other thing that was possible. Only later was it discovered that the flight took off on a short runway when it was actually supposed to take off on a longer runway. The questions immediately was, "Was the plane directed to a wrong runway?" and "Did the pilot take off on the wrong runway though he was directed to the right one?".

The Lexington Bluegrass airport is one of the small airports in US. It was the final airport I landed in when I first came to US. It doesn't have too many runways, only 2 , in fact.




The runway 26 is the shorter of the 2 runways with a length of about 3500 feet and is strictly for small planes. Runway 22 is the longer and is about 7,000 feet long. The black boxes were recovered from the plane and it was deduced that the plane was cleared for take-off on runway 22. After interogations, it was also found that the runway 22 was the only runway lit. The runway 26 wasn't even lit. The conditions on sunday morning was a bit cloudy and dark, but shouldn't the pilot have seen the lights on the runway?

As you can see from the google map, the plane should have taxied from the terminal, taken the path shown by the blue arrow and taken off on runway 22. But right now it looks like the plane took an extreme left at the point where the blue dashes begin and tried to take off on runway 26. The size of this particular flight is such that it needs minimum 5000 feet of runway to take off. The momentum of a short runway was just not enough for the plane to take off and hence it resulted in a plane crash. But what was really running through the pilots minds? The pilot and the first officer are both experienced people, then how come they made such a costly mistake?

One thing that might have been a reason is the recent change of the path leading to runway 22. It seems until about a fortnight ago, the path was as marked by the green arrow. They recently changed it to as shown by the blue arrow. So for a pilot who has flown from this airport before, it would be a straight and then a left to the runway. But in this case, there was another left he had to take. So by the time he noticed that the runway is ending and the plane needs some more speed to take off, it'd have already been too late..

But experts are also arguing that the degree of turns that the plane has to make to reach the 2 runways are different. The plane obviously has instruments to indicate the same. So why wasn't it noticed? Was it plain over-confidence? Was it not enough sleep? Only questions, no answers. It is also found that the first officer was flying the plane. So the poor guy who's struggling to survive just maybe the one responsible for the crash!!

Now there are other reasons floating around. There was only one air traffic controller at the time in the airport and he was sleep-deprived :-p. Guess all the circumstances culminated in the crash. The Governor of KY has declared mourning and the US flags flying at half-mast remind me of this terrible accident each time...

Atleast the pilots would have known that they were going to crash. Imagine, the passengers would have been totally clueless. I have been on one of these early flights. Most of the people in US are so used to travelling in planes that they don't even look out of the window when the plane takes off (I still do!! I'm like a kid when it comes to take-offs and landings :-D), they just read newspapers or take a nap. So it definitely would have been instantaneous death without any knowledge of it whatsoever. The fight attendant wouldn't have had time to warn or help any of the people. Heck, she'd probably have been totally clueless herself!!

The thing I was sad most about was that 2 of the passengers were a honeymooning couple who had gotten married just the previous evening. A couple who were just looking forward to a new life together. There was also another couple who were on their way to their wedding. I don't know what to say. I feel like crying because I know how its like when you are on your way to your honeymoon. So many dreams, plans and what not!! I even saw the first couple's wedding snap on TV. They were looking so happy in it that it was kinda heart-breaking :(. Atleast they both died together :(. Not that the lives of the other people on the flight were any less important...

49 people died not very far from where I was. It did something to me. I remember the big air crash that happened in Bangalore airport more than 15 years ago. It was because of a plane landing way earlier. There were many killed in that too (Google tells me 92 people). I used to get nightmares after that. I remember this horrible one where a plane crashes into my home in Bangalore :(. I remember being scared of planes after that and my dad telling me that death is inevitable. It need not happen on a plane, it might happen even when you are crossing a road. Somehow the idea stuck to my brain..

On sunday when we were watching a bit of news, this bit of conversation happened between the news telecast announcer and an expert. The announcer asked him "Does this crash imply that its not safe anymore to travel in Planes?" and he replied "Definitely not. Getting into a plane is extremely safe compared to, say, getting into your car. There have been far lesser people killed on planes whereas tens of thousands of people are killed in highway accidents each year". That somehow brought a smile to my face. 'Cause it reminded me of what dad had told me years ago :).


Nothing in life is certain except death and taxes - Benjamin Franklin.

After Death?

After death?

As I was free and had not enough work to do
Weird thoughts flew glibly inside my head..
That was when I wondered and pondered
What would happen to me after I were dead..

Maybe I would become a fierce and scary ghost
Floating wherever and forever in frilly whites..
Haunting anyone, be it enemies or friends
Playing pranks and giving everyone frights..

Maybe I would be made a very pretty angel
And sent into an extremely beautiful heaven..
I would bring happiness, wipe sadness away
I will do good and every life I would enliven..

Maybe I would be sent to a horrifying hell
Somehow I know that it will make me glad..
I would bribe the devil, become a hell supervisor
And make sure others are punished real bad..

Maybe reincarnation is the next logical step
I would choose to be a cockroach, given a choice..
I would eat and eat and not become fat at all,
I would scare a few without even making any noise..

But what if death is an inevitable dead end?
No hell below us or no heaven above at the top..
If so, then I better make sure my life is fun
Before it comes to an abrupt, complete full stop.

Immor(t)ality?

What's the fuss all about?

It all started once upon a time ago (actually only last week :-D) when my cousin Dineshanna contested what has been the belief of my life, since I've some to understand a little bit of what life is, "Death is the ultimate truth". He asked me one thing - "Are you sure that death is the truth? What if people can be immortal? What if death is just a mind set?". Did the question rock the foundation of my belief? Nope ;-). But it did make me read up on some of the new theories being circulated and thats what this post is about. As usual here's my disclaimer:

"I'm neither supporting the Immortality theory, nor denying it completely (Basically am doing the cat on the wall thingy :-D). This post is just my opinion on the theories that people come up with and the possibilities if such a theory is proved (what am I talking about? :-D). The post and author of the post are again not to be held responsible if any of the readers feel like following the rules of the Immortality theory or feel like opposing it (!!). I'm open to healthy debates :-D."

What is the (in)famous Immortality theory?

im·mor·tal·i·ty
n.
1) The quality or condition of being immortal.
2) Endless life or existence.

Since humans have evolved, they have had the desire to live forever and this is what immortality signifies. As the wikipedia site says in detail, immortality is different for different people. But this post is about a particular immortality - the physical one. There have been theories circulating on internet about how you can physically and mentally become immortal. Just searching for "Immortality" or "Longevity" in Google will give you so many sites/results/support groups that you are bound to be surprised. These are people who believe that "Aging is an enemy"!! I dunno about you, but I was like "Aging is natural, so why should you consider it an enemy?".

The basic theory is that the genetic scientists are very close to finding results to living forever. So the people who support immortality claim that all we have to do is "live long enough to live forever". Absurd? Wonderful? You decide.

What needs to be done to live "long enough" according to the immortalists?

According to the Longevity Meme, the steps you have to follow not to age are:

• Stop Damaging Your Health - Don't eat junk food, don't smoke, see a doc regularly, exercise.


• Adopt a Better Diet and Lifestyle - calorie restriction diet, Take supplements, exercise


• Support and Advocate Medical Research - Fund people who are researching on non-aging :-p.

Some things do make sense. I don't like smoking and generally try to avoid anyone who smokes. And since I've started working out, I do believe in regular exercize. And, yes, visiting a doctor and having regular check-ups is commendable and is necessary. And yes, avoiding junk food is also a good idea (even though when it comes to bhel puri and ice creams, I can't think straight ;-) :-D).

The problem is not when you decide to follow the rules. The problem is when the rules turn maniacal. People stop eating basic things like sugar and salt, avoid coffee altogether (guess its good to some extent :-D), don't eat vegetables that are non-organic and survive on salads completely. All this to avoid old age for heaven's sake? And after doing all this what if you do get old and do get diseases? Probably curse that all the dieting was for nothing? But it will be too late for that. For Eg: say I don't eat sugar (ice cream) and salt (bhel puri :-D) for years. Later I do end up getting blood pressure and diabetes. So I can't eat these then anyways. So I'll have the regret continuously that I could have enjoyed something, but I did not. All the sacrifice was for nothing. This might be a childish view, but I'd rather enjoy what I have now rather than not do it and regret that tomorrow! Be it just a matter of bhel puri and ice cream :-D. I would do it moderately though ;-).

What about people opposing the Immortalists?

Every "to" has to have a "fro". So there are obviously people who oppose the immortality theory. One of the sayings that I loved was:

"Immortality:
A toy which people cry for,
And on their knees apply for,
Dispute, contend and lie for,
And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for."
- Ambrose Bierce

There was also another article in BBC by S Jay Olshansky which impressed me with its content. It does take all kinds of people to make this world :-D.

What's my take on the whole thing?

Do I want to be immortal? I don't know. I don't think so. I know one life is too short for me to see all I want to see and for me to do all the things I want to do. But still I don't want to be immortal. I might sound idealistic, but thats what I am. To me whats important is my family. If I consider my parents, its probably too late for them to follow the non-aging procedures and be immortal. As for Sri, my brother Darsh and myself, well maybe we can implement it and achieve immortality. I probably would want all of my family with me forever, but I cannot predict the same of my kids. They might not want me around once they are all grown up and might consider me as a pain in the neck ;-) (I am that most of the time anyways :-D). So what do I have to be immortal for? There will come a time, when I'd want to rest and die peacefully.

The following was a story I heard in my childhood:

It seems there was a king who once after severe meditation, pleased the gods and got the potion of longevity. But the condition of the gods was that he drink it himself and not share it with anyone. So he did that and was very happy for a long time.

But happiness does not last long. The parents he appreciated so much die. The queen he loved so much also dies in the passing time. Now his kids are older than him and will probably die tomorrow too. Whats the use of his youth when he can't enjoy it? He again prays to the Gods to grant him death.

Don't know whether he got his 2nd wish or not ;-). But this is the theme that a film also focuses upon to state the difference between robots and living beings - Robin Williams's "Bicentennial Man". Yes, the difference is the difference between immortality and death. That was one of the movies that touched my heart. What I mean here is that immortality will come with side effects. Maybe we will become like robots (as if we have not already turned into semi-robots, what with our software working cultures :-D)...

But more than that, immortality basically feels like greed to me. You have a life and you've lived it, however may it be. But you still want more. You plead "Nope I don't want to die, I don't want to age, I want to live forever". Is this anything other than greed? And haven't we all been taught that greed is evil? Why always the need for more? Why can't we, for once, be happy with what we have and what we get?

What's the end to it all?

What I don't see, I can't believe in. I've seen death all around me, so I believe in it. I haven't seen immortality anywhere, so I can't really believe in that. Maybe it exists, but until I get a "living" proof of it, I can't sacrifice little pleasures for what might not be that big a pleasure for me. You might ask me - "Hey you don't see God, then how come you believe?". Thats because every little thing around is a proof that there's a super natural power beyond our imagination. We are living proofs for God :).

Moreover, I think what is born has to die. Call me old-fashioned, accuse me of not being open to new ideas, but that is the truth. When the old dies, thats when there's new. You may really not want the old to die, you might want to hang on, but the old has been there for many years. It has seen many things and its tired. It wants to rest. Forever.

I'd like to say only one thing to the so-called immortalists. If you don't accept death and keep hoping/thinking that you are immortal, when death comes to you, in that last moment, you are bound to be disappointed. You are bound to have regrets. But if you accept that there's death, then if immortality happens, its like a bonus, is it not? ;-) :-D. So isn't it better to live life to the fullest, rather than save yourself for the tomorrow that is still a stranger to you?

Another quote before I end the post:

"We are immortal until our work on earth is done."
- George Whitefield

That I guess brings the post to its end. Thankfully, the post is not immortal eh? :-D

Why, Oh Why, God?

Why, Oh Why, God?




God, why have you made autumn this way?
So many different colours to be seen..
Here in America, so many shades in leaves
While there in India, why only green?

God, why have you made days this way?
One is cloudy while other is blessed with sun..
And why are creatures the way they are?
One cannot fly while another cannot run..

God, why have you made countries this way?
One has mountains while the other has ravines..
And why is the fate of them so different?
When one has floods, several others have famines..

God, why have you made humans this way?
Skin colours black, white, red and brown..
While the internal system is quite the same,
Why are faces, thoughts, unique and their own?

God, why have you made feelings this way?
Excited, Confused, Lonely, Happy and Sad..
And why is the human nature so different?
While one is good, why is the other so bad?

God, why have you made me this way?
Why do I think, think and over-think?
Why has what started as autumn colours,
Changed into so many other why's in a blink?

Time and Tide Part 2..

Been a long time since I wrote something that I have deeply thought about. After "Deep Thoughts" became "Dip Tea", it seems like all I've been writing about is my trips and some scattered poems. Ok, it all comes from my heart, but still there's that inherent quality of me-pondering-about-something has been missing for sometime now. This post is to rectify the shortcoming (yup, me using big big words just to make the post more powerful :-D). Why Part 2? If you are asking this, that means you haven't read Part 1 here.

Today is 3 months since I landed in US. I don't know why I keep counting. Its not because I have nothing else to do. Its not because I want to celebrate it as an anniversary. And its definitely not because I am heading towards a countdown or something. I mean, its not as if I have an idea when I am going back to India. That's still not a fixed point. For that matter, why do we keep count of anything? We remember our numbered birthdays, anniversaries, even others' numbered birthdays or anniversaries. Why? Is it to reassure ourselves that, "Yup, I am alive. I have cheated death for another year"? Or is it to say "I have spent so many years and I have achieved something"? Or is it simply to have a reason to celebrate? The first case does not make any sense. If you are happy to be alive, then you should celebrate each and every day. The second one may hold good for some people, but people who have not exactly achieved anything, like kids, also celebrate birthdays. Then the third becomes the only possibility. We have so many tensions and troubles that we need a reason to celebrate. We need occasions to remember people and be remembered. But still its strange. Wonder who introduced the concept of celebrating these occasions!

The real thing, you have to celebrate, or remember, according to me, is each and every day. If you contemplate, you'll realize that a day is the anniversary of all that has happened in your life so far, be it a joyful occasion or otherwise. A day sort of signifies a new beginning and an end to that beginning as well. And imagine!! Days are flying so fast! They are totally out of our control. Its as if the day begins and before you even think on what you want to do that day, the day is gone! Poyi Pochi!!

Reminds me of a Mohammad Rafi song "Yaad na jaaye":

"Din jo pakeru hote
Pinjre me mein rakhletha
Paal tha unko jatan se
Moti ke daane detha

Seene se raktha lagaaye.."

Simply translates into "If only days were birds, I'd have caged them, taken care of them and fed them grains of pearls. I'd have kept them close to my heart forever..". But days are definitely not birds and they sadly cannot be caged.

You might have heard the saying "Live each day as if it is the last day of your life". Makes so much sense, doesn't it? Live your life now, there's not much time left :)

To be here or to be there?

Is not the question I know. After all, how can I leave Sri there alone in peace without anybody to trouble him? :-D But right now, if you ask me to describe my feelings in one word, the answer has to be "Torn" :(

Why does life always give us choices? Why this or that? Why can't it be both? Why, when on one side there is happiness, there is also a tinge of sadness? Why can't it all be uncomplicated and easy? And why can't I be satisified with what I get? Why, when I am getting a lot more than I expected? Why do I have to ask for more? Why do people always have to ask for more? And why am I writing all this?

A kannada song by P.B.S describes man's attitude very aptly:

Baanigondu elle ellide?
Ninnaasegelli kone ide?
Yeke kanasu kaanuve?
Nidhanisu, nidhanisu.

Translates into "Is there a limit to sky? Is there a limit to your needs? Why do you dream for more? Slow down, slow down". We want it all and we can't have it. Maybe its good that we can't. What's the fun in life if you get all you asked for? I say this too and I say that too. What can I do if my feelings fluctuate like a pendulum.

Everything's great as explained in my previous post. The only sad part is that I'm going to be so far away from dad, mom and Darsh in about a week. It'll be totally different from what it previously was. When I got married, I was sad to be apart from them. But since we were in the same city, I could visit them whenever I wanted. They could visit me whenever they/I wanted. I could call them up without worrying about the time and talk for hours. We could catch up at functions or wherever, whenever. In one week, everything will be totally different :(.

My problem is that I've never been away from my parents. I have been very lucky not having to stay in hostels or relatives' places (some people might disagree about the 'lucky' part, but it applies to me). I now call it a problem because its probably more difficult to be apart at this point of time. Some people may say I'm too dependent or that I'm pampered. But that's not the case. Yup I am emotionally dependent on them. How can I not be when they have been the ones with me, through pain and pleasure, through joy and sorrow, through special and irritating moments, through scoldings and loving words for almost 25 long years? How can I forget all that in an instant and say bye-bye? And pampered, I'm not. My mom and dad have moulded me into the woman I am today. They have struggled a lot to make me and Darsh what we are today. I'm so proud of them and proud of all that they have achieved.

Am I making a big issue out of it? These days communications have improved a lot. I can talk/chat/even see them through computers. And I have to think about Sri. Bechaara, he's all alone there right now. Atleast I was with my parents while we've been apart. And the simple truth is that I just can't bear to be away from him as I've found out in the past month. But it still won't be the same living on the other side of the world without my parents :(.

I know I'll get adjusted to it after some time. Maybe, it'll take a few days, a few weeks or maybe a few months. But, right now, I'm torn.......

Time and tide....

An extract from Pink Floyd's "Time" goes like this:

"And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death"

I have heard the song many times before but today I heard it in the car when Darsh was dropping me off to work. It suddenly stuck me - "Yup I MUST make a comment on my blog in this" (These days I seem to thinking of everything in blog terms :-p).

Sometimes somethings make so much sense. I don't know whether the author was really philosophical when he wrote this, but the sentences sure came out that way. Its so true. People have this crazy wish of living longer and longer. To accomplish what, no one knows. When you are struggling pretty bad to avoid death, age sneaks up on you and you realize that life has passed by without you actually achieving anything. And why this need of achievement? Isn't it enough that you've had a contented and a happy life? Why always this quest for more, more and more??? Ok I'm becoming too philosophical now. The whole point of what I'm trying to say is take life as it comes. The simple fact is that tomorrow might never come for you (If I say this in front of my mom or MIL, they'll say "say bidthu" (There's a belief that whenever you say bad things like this, its actually not you saying it, but a spirit possessing your tongue ;-) Bidthu mean "It has left" indicating the spirit)). But its the truth. You/I may not be alive tomorrow, so what's the point in worrying about death today?

Ok Suththi jaasti aaithu (meaning I'm lecturing a lot) and I know that I have to stop now. I can only repeat - Life's too short to waste it away by worrying about death. And Death is the end result of life. So, Don't worry be happy :)

A guide to The HitchHiker's guide to the galaxy

I came across "The HitchHiker's guide to the galaxy" by Douglas Adams sometime in December last year. The credit purely goes to Darsh for insisting that I read it (and later read it FAST as the copy was a friend's and he had to return it!!!). I read "The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide" which is a consolidation of all the 6 consequent stories that Douglas Adams wrote. I have never read such a totally crazy assortment of ideas and imagination which suddenly somehow manage to convey such a deep meaning at certain situations (wow, even I can come up with a really complicated statement :-D). Only a person who has managed to read the book can know what I mean.

So why am I talking about it now? When I read it, I was so impressed with some of the dialogues in the book that I actually made a note of three of them (believe me, I don't make a habit out of it!) and I found these notes in my drawer today :) And blog-crazy that I've become, what better way to preserve them than to put them in my blog? :-D Lets start with the first one:

"This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole, it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy."

Now isn't that something? What a way to state that money is not important!! Here's the second one:

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced with something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another which states that this has already happened."

:-D. All these particular theories are purely from the brilliant imagination of the author :) Imagine! Somebody might have already come up with an explanation for the universe and the universe was replaced by what we have today! Boggles the mind, doesn't it? Ok the last one:

"In the beginning, the universe was created; This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."

:))))))) Take that, thou who complain about the creation of universe and its effects :-D.

So, if anyone wants to read this book on the basis of this post, here's my disclaimer:

"The author of this post is not responsible for the giggles, frowns and headaches that might be induced in the reader who is reading the above mentioned book. If there is any cause for complaint then the comments should be sent directly to the publishers of the above-mentioned book and not to the author of this post."

Hehehee. All I can say is that, if you decide to read this book, be ready for a wild frustrating ride of 768 pages :)) Enjoy maadi :-D.

Forms of loneliness :(

Some times you feel absolutely alone in a crowd..

Man, have you ever felt that way? I have, so many times. It feels awful as if no one cares about you anymore, no one cares whether you are alive, as if you are just not there. What the heck am I talking about!! The "alone in a crowd" thing happens not because of the people in the crowd. If you are feeling it, then its you who's the problem. Human mind is a very strange thing. Imagine the complexity of it! You FEEL sad or happy, lonely or crowded, panicky or strong, scared or brave and its all in your mind! Wish there were buttons for them all ;-) Press one and wham, a smile appears :-D Would have been great na? Anyways I was talking about loneliness. Look at the following piece of lyrics from a ghazal sung by Ghulam Ali - "Kuch din to baso meri":

Mein tanha tha
Mein tanha huun
Tum aao toh kya
Na aao toh kya!!

My! I was alone, I am alone, what difference does it make whether you come or you don't? Sounds depressing, doesn't it? But the full song is not that depressing. The song's here at Raaga, listen to it if you can. That's one beautiful song :) To tell you the truth, I have felt this way sometimes. It is an extremely sad feeling and it feels as if the loneliness is gonnu kill you. Its as if you need someone but the one around you is just not enough...

Other times, there is just a person around you and you don't feel so lonely anymore. Though you both may not be speaking to each other, you both maybe doing your own things, yet you feel contented just by the fact that somebody's there. You know that some body who cares is near you, whenever you want him/her and you are glad just by that fact. Unbelievable but true..

There are yet other times when you long to be alone, to get away from it all and people seem to be hell bent on being with you. They get on your nerves and you go "aaaaaaaaaargh!!!". You wish you could just get on a plane or something and leave. Go where? Even you won't know the answer to that! Which is precisely why I said human mind is a strange thing! In this case, you actually feel glad if you are alone. You are absolutely divinely happy even if you are not doing anything as such. Weirrrrrrrrd!!!

So why am I talking about this now? I am in my office right now and there is a whole crowd of colleagues making all sorts of noises around me. But I am lonely. I'm so lonely without Sri :( Can't even call him up whenever I want and bug him as he's so far away from me :( My parents try to be with me all the time so that I don't brood. Darsh keeps pulling me along to watch videos and movies with him. But I still miss Sri. There just seems to be no medicine for that :( Right now, my blog is the only company for my loneliness. I know that sounds pathetic but that's the reality :(

Listening to: Baby when you're gone by Bryan Adams & Melanie C :(((

"Baby when you're gone,
I realize I'm in love
Days go on and on,
And the nights just seem so long
Even food don't taste that good,
Drink ain't doing what it should
Things just feel so wrong,
Baby when you're gone"

Love Foolosophy sigh sigh sigh!!!

Isn't it strange how one person becomes more important than all the people in your life put together? That too, in a matter of just a few months!! A total stranger who you hadn't even seen a couple of months ago, is all of a sudden the center of your life!!! How weirder can life get??

I can't believe I didn't know Sri till Nov 13th 2005. I still sometimes can't believe I am married to him now ;-) I mean, how do things work out this way? Is it, as they say, that "Marriages are made in heaven"? Were we meant to be together? You just can't believe some of the coincidences in our case. Please believe me when I say, I am telling the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth!!

• During my first 2 years of B.E at PESIT, it seems Sri was doing a training on Mysore road, daily traveling through the same road that I used to take to college. Crazy or what!


• About 2 years back, Sri came back to Bangalore from Delhi. He used to stay in BTM and daily travel on some roads, where I used to go to visit some of my friends almost regularly!!!


• Moreover, he purchased a flat about an year ago. Believe it or not, the flat is right behind my parents' place, about a furlong away and my parents' place is directly visible from the flat!!! This fact actually caused speculation among Sri's cousins and mine that maybe, just maybe we knew each other from before :-D

These are the ones I know, maybe there are many such coincidences that we haven't figured out yet! Does this indicate a pattern or is all of these just a coincidence? Who knows!! I'm not an all-knowing-genius to comment on the same. I'm just speculating on the weird ways of fate and karma and all that ;-) Also, I have to have something to fill my blog with ;-) :-D :-)).

When this person who was a total stranger just a few months ago, has to be away from you for a while, why does it feel as if you are torn apart? Yep, Sri is in a place far far away and I miss him so bad :( He left on Saturday and he called a couple of times already. Still, its a terrible feeling to be away from him :( How come he has gotten to me in such a short time? And they say arranged marriages have no charm :-p My life's become a movie drama now and I don't really know how I'm supposed to behave anymore

Listening to: Now You're Gone by Whitesnake :(((((

Just read this now and felt good, so thought of putting it here..

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do NOT need your help. So, have a nice day.

Love,
GOD

P.S.
And, remember.... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself!! Kindly put it in the SFGTD(Something For God To Do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

P.S.S.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

Que Sera Sera :-"

What will be will be.. No matter whether you jump into a well, you struggle, you stomp your foot in disgust, you grin and bear it or you protest... So is it better to strain yourself about what's happening or is it better to smile, be calm and face whatever happens? Obviously the second option sounds better. But preaching and practicing it in our lives are different things altogether :-D Sad, but true.. You try to calm yourself and tell yourself that whatever has to happen will happen, but still that's not enough. What to do?

I also believe that whatever happens happens for the good! There was this instance I heard that a person working in WTC got his turn of buying doughnuts on the D-day of 9/11. He complained, cribbed and made all sorts of noises and went out of the building to buy them. That's when the planes crashed into the building. So the guy actually owes his life to the fact that he was the unfortunate person to buy doughnuts that day! Since I heard this, whenever something happened to me, I have always thought its for good. I'm not simply boasting of my good qualities, its just that I have adopted this positive line of thinking. Again I'm not a God, I still worry about things when I know they are gonnu happen. But once they do, I resign to them and think maybe its for my own good.

Why am I talking about this today? Good question. I can't answer it right now because things are a bit hazy. Will update once they are a bit more clear cut :)

Listening to: Road To Mandalay by Robbie Williams

"Everything I touched was golden
Everything I loved got broken
On the road to Mandalay
Every mistake I've ever made
Has been rehashed and then replayed
As I got lost along the way"

Inner peace...

Click on the picture above to read the beautiful poem.. I really don't know who wrote it, it was sent as a forward a long time ago by one of my friends. I uploaded it today thinking it suited my mood completely..

Humans are creatures who just cannot sit quiet. If they are not doing anything, they'll definitely be thinking something or the other. These thoughts are usually worries or turmoils. The thoughts need not be put in by any external person/thing. The human mind is very capable of generating these turmoils itself. This is probably a way to keep itself occupied :-! The saying "Idle mind is devil's workshop" feels absolutely true sometimes. Take a look at the following story:

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his students on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"

The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

"It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is Ok. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance. It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"If we carry our worries all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the worry becoming increasingly heavier."

"What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again. We have to put down the worry periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on."

This story was first told to me by my dad. I have known it for quite sometime now. But do I follow the advice? Uunhuun. I preach it to anybody and everybody I find worrying. But when it comes to my worries, I never put them down and rest. They are always on my mind eating away at my inner peace even though I remember the story and tell myself to stop worrying. I know they won't decrease if I keep gnawing at them. So why don't I leave them alone? The answer is that I just can't. I have to think about them, analyze them and come up with a solution. Somehow....

So how do people find inner peace when they have so much to worry about? Some resort to exercises, some others to meditation. To each his/her own. I usually feel peaceful in the devaru kone (God's room at home) or at a temple. The temple maybe really noisy yet its so easy to feel peaceful. I am not preaching spirituality here. Since most of us have grown up thinking there's a God who takes care of us, sitting in the devaru kone and gazing at any idol/picture of God makes me feel as if there's somebody watching me and taking care of what's happening to me. Its as if I am transferring my tale bhaara to God :-D. Bechaara God, imagine how many people will be doing that ;-).

You might be thinking aaj ye ladki kyu itna philosophy jhaad rahi he? Just felt like it. After all thats what blogs are for ;-)