The house story..

Its the same old story, different characters. Today is the gruhapravesha of a new flat that my parents bought almost an year ago. Its officially Darsh's flat, unofficially bought by my parents. The house that they live in now, which I usually call my home away from home, is also their own. So its not like I am missing a first-time event. We had the gruhapravesha of the current house almost 10 years back and ofcourse I was there for that. Moreover Sri and I celebrated our flat gruhapravesha, so yes there have been more than 1 gruhapraveshas in my life :-\.

And its not like I did not have any say in the whole thing. I was the one who insisted on not having the function while I was in India. You know how stressful these affairs are and I didn't want that to affect the time my parents spent with Snugli. Plus they'd certainly be running around to get things completed and we'd hardly spend any time together. Maybe that was selfish of me. Because on the flip side, had I been there, maybe I could have helped out in some things. Maybe I could have done some running around myself and given them a break. Or maybe I am giving myself a bit too much credit.

I don't know what I feel. One moment I am happy that they are having the function and everything is going great for them. Next moment I start thinking that they have never not had me around for any of the major functions before this one. I have always been there. It certainly feels very strange not being there. I am excited for them, but also there's some amount of melancholy. I tried distracting myself with various things, but haven't really been able to forget that I'm not there (as if thats so easy)..

But enough about me. Nanna gOLu iddidde (my woes are always there :-p). Its wonderful that they are having a reason to celebrate and I wish the new house brings them more happiness and many many more reasons to celebrate. May this joyous occasion be a step forward into new opportunities, new occasions of merriment and much more love and laughter...

I still wish I could have been there though..

Sigh..

Home Sweet Home :)

It all started before I even met Sri. As I have mentioned before, its one of the biggest coincidences of our lives :). He had booked an apartment before he met me and after he did meet me, it turned out that the apartment he had booked, was almost right behind my parents' place, not even a Km away!! We actually got teased a lot on this. My parents were happy about it, as they thought they can see their daughter regularly after marriage (I thought I could wave out from my balcony to mom as the apartment was visible from her kitchen).

But fate had different plans in 2 ways. One was obviously us moving to US and the second was that several other apartments arose in a matter of months between my parents' house and our apartment. The second one pales in comparison to the first, doesn't it? ;-(. Some things cannot be helped..

The apartment building got completed slowly, somewhat behind schedule because of court cases (as usual if there is land, there are always people who claim it as theirs :-p). But we still thought the registration would get done soon. Since we were here, dad got the responsibility and he had to dash around for it. But all his efforts were in vain, as the formalities never really did get completed until we actually landed there. So one of the first things was to get the registration done (the other was the visa in Delhi). Well, that completed, all that was left to do was the Gruhapravesha or the house warming ceremony. This is how the buiding looks from outside (the reason for the shabbiness of the photo is because it is taken from the plan, and not the real photo. There is no way to take a proper photo from outside because of the surrounding buildings):




The gruhapravesha was planned way before we landed in India. Hence most of the formalities of engaging a Poojari, adige bhattaru (cook) and the chairs/tables etc was taken care of by, who else :-p, my mom and dad. But to our credit, we did take care of the last minute cleaning of the house, getting some lights/fans for the house ('cause it was very hot) and making the final arrangements before the pooja.

10th May 2006:

The first of the poojas started on 10th May evening. It absolutely coincided with the electricity going poof and the start of the first few drops of rain. The pooja was no problem but the cook did have some problems as the rain kind of fell on the place they had the pendal put, despite the fact that it was in basement. Moreover there were no lights in the basement. Thanks to dad and Puttanna kakka (my chikkappa), some of the problems did get solved.

Meanwhile the pooja went on in the first floor which is where we had our house. We didn't have electric lights, but we could manage with the deepas lit for the pooja. So we started off with the sankalpa for the Rakshogna Homa which is done first to ward off evil powers when a shubha kaarya is going on :). The main Pujari was Adigaru who also was the one who conducted our marriage :). There were also about 4-5 colleagues (hehehe) of his who were helping out.







As the poojaris started off the homa, we sat for another pooja called the Vaastu pooja. Vaastu Pooja consists of worship of the Vaastu Devata, the deities directions East, West, North, South, North-East, South-East, North-West & South-West and 49 other deities residing in Vaastu, which bring Health, Wealth, Peace, Prosperity & Happiness.







The rangoli that the one of the poojaris drew is so pretty, isn't it? Pity it lasted only for 2 days..

After the Vaastu pooja, we continued on with the Rakshogna Homa, the holy smoke of which is supposed to spread throughout the home and get rid of anything thats evil. Pollution you say? Well it is. But it is also peace of the mind in another way :).




Smokkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkking eh? ;-). The pooja went on pretty long after which everyone of us had our dinner and retired for the day :).

11th May 2006:

Early morning next day was the actual gruhapravesha :). I wore a saree that my MIL gave me and was ready by about 7 AM!! The gruhapravesha consists of a pooja in front of the main door and later, kicking a tumbler full of rice with the right leg before entering the house (well, not as exciting as it sounds, a tumbler is not a football, nor are you supposed to kick it like one :-p). The fun part is that the lady of the house (thats me, me, me :-D) gets to enter the house first ;-) :-D.







After the gruhapravesha, next we had the haalu-ukso programme. The milk boiling and flowing over ceremony indicates the invitation and arrival of Goddess Lakshmi into the house :).







Meanwhile, there were problems again for the cook as there was no electricity. Dad, mom and Puttanna kakka had to run around to get many things done. People who actually should have been treated royally as VIP guests, ended up getting all the work done. But again, as I repeatedly have been saying, some things cannot be helped and thanks to them, some of the problems did get solved. Well, whats a ride without a few bumps eh? ;-).

To go ahead with the poojas, next came the Gana Homa. My favourite God is Lord Ganesha and it was my wish that this pooja be done. After the gruhapravesha, I changed into a saree given by mom (again a ritual) and sat for the Gana homa.




Next in the pipeline (:-D) was the Sathyanarayana pooja. There is always a feel-good factor associated with this pooja :) and we were glad when everything went off well and got completed on time.




Thats when everyone brought out the goodies ;-). We got pretty gifts from friends and relatives. After a fabulous lunch, everyone headed to their homes. There were a couple of relatives who visited us in the evening, but that was it. I was really happy that a couple of really close friends could make it to the function :). It did rain on the gruhapravesha day too, but it was basically in the evening. But some friends were unable to come in the evening as promised before because of the rain. Par chaltha he :).

And so our house warming ceremony came to an end {sigh}. Hmmmm house warming eh? Does a house really get warmed by just a function, I wonder! Doesn't it require to have human warmth, joys and sorrows to really warm it? We are really lucky, aren't we to have a house there in India while we live far away from it in US? :( :'(.

Whats really ironic is that as soon as we landed here, our lease ended and yup, we shifted to a new house here. With the same UHAUL story as before, we landed in this house, only this time we shifted to an independent house and not an apartment. Also this time, thankfully there was no snow to hinder our move in any way.




Yup, this is our house here in US. I have one room here exclusively as an office and I'm very happy with the house. If I am so happy, then why can't I help but remember the "Home Sweet Home" in India which has become the "Home Away From Home" for us right now? {sigh}....

Two sides to a pendulum..

It always has to do it. Swing from one side to another. Once it reaches one side, it probably feels I'm not happy here and I want to be at the other side. Off it goes. The other side reached, it feels no I want to go back. Its never ending. Life's like that! There always has to be a side we want to reach to be happy. Once we reach there, we have some other thing bothering us...

This weekend is my parents-in-law's new house gruha pravesha in Hyderabad. Had we been in India, we'd have already planned our leaves and maybe even would have already been in Hyderabad by this time. Oh the celebration it would have been. The hungama, the confusion about simple things, which saree to wear, the things to help out in, the shifting, it would have been marvellous. As a first big function from Sriram's side, I'd have treated my parents like guests, hurrying here and there and what not! Not that it won't be a great function without us there, its just that I'd have oh-so-much loved to be there..

I obviously feel sad for myself. As a newly married couple, we'd have still been subjected to some teasing. But that's not what I'm gonna miss. All of Sriram's side of relatives are a bunch of fun. I enjoy being with them and thats what I am going to miss. Very badly. I am going to miss each and everything..

I feel sad for Sri. It probably bothers him more that he's not with his parents at this time, but the poor guy has to be brave for my sake. He not only has to deal with missing the function but with me too, as I keep making a fuss that he made me miss my first big function after marriage. Its not true ofcourse. Its just the circumstances. But I have to have somebody at who I can point my finger :(. And bechaara Sri gets it. Honestly, had it been my parents' gruha pravesha, I'd have been uncontrollable . So I do know what Sri must be going through. Poor guy :(.

I feel sad for Amma (Sri's mother). When she told us about the gruha pravesha, I still remember her hopeful voice asking her son whether they'll come back for the function. And I remember the disappointment in her voice when her son replied in a negative way. My mom told me that amma was even telling her that maybe her son and daughter-in-law will land in Hyderabad unannounced and surprise them. I feel extremely sad for the woman who hopes that her son will surprise her when she knows that he won't. Amma, I'm really sorry :(.

I feel sad for daddy (Sri's father), who yesterday, told us that he's deeply disappointed that we are not gonna be there. I've never seen or heard him speak like that. He even said to Sri, "Your Amma cries and controls her emotions, but you know I'm not like that. But I want to let you know that I'm disappointed". But daddy, you know what? We both are lots and lots more disappointed than all of you. Because we are here alone...

I feel sad for my mom and dad who will be on the train to Hyderabad now. It must feel really bad to be attending their daughter's main function, when she's not going to be there. Not that they mind it, they really want to attend. But I wish I was there to boss over them ;-). Sigh!! :((

But among all these, I also know that we have our own gruhapravesha scheduled sometime early next year, when we'll be going back to India. Obviously we have to be there ;-). Then I'll enjoy the same hungaama, same confusions and the company of both sides of relatives. This is the reassurance we both give each other. Thats gonna be some function :). I am smiling already thinking about it :).

We are going to be out of town this weekend, just because I told Sri I won't be able to bear it if I'm at home and am continously thinking about it. Maybe, he wants to getaway too. We are going to Pittsburgh to visit the earliest and the biggest Indian temple in US. Yup, my next post will surely be on that.

Amma and daddy, congratulations on your new home and hope the home will see many happy times, with all of us together. Hope you have a great function and everything goes great and just right :).