Nannavane (my man)..

Today is the day Sri and I met 6 years ago. Wanted to do something special for that and thought of writing a poem. But when it comes to Sri, I have written so many poems that its very difficult to think of a non-repeating matter :-D. So well, I decided to write in Kannada this time. Its been a long time since I wrote a Kannada poem (probably more than 10-12 years back) and I have never written one for my blog, somehow never wanted to. Well, better late than never. I tried my level best to translate it into English but the feelings weren't being expressed as good, so this one is specially for the Kannada knowing readers of my blog :). You know who it is dedicated to :).


ನನ್ನವನೆ...

ಕನಸಿನ ನಾನಾ ಗೋಜಲುಗಳಿಂದ
ನನಸಾಗಿ ಇಳಿದು ಬಂದವನೆ.
ಮನಸಿನ ಕವಿತೆಯಲಿ ಬೆರೆತು ಅರಿತು
ಬಯಕೆ ಹೂಗುಚ್ಛವ ತಂದವನೆ.

ಮೆಲ್ಲನೆ ಮಾತಲಿ ಎಳೆದು ಸೆಳೆದು
ಹೃದಯದ ಬಾಗಿಲ ತೆರೆದವನೆ.
ಸಲ್ಲದ ನಾಚಿಕೆಯ ಬಂಧವ ಕಡಿದು
ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ಮೆರೆದವನೆ.

ಆತಂಕ ಆವೇಶಗಳ ಬಡೆದೋಡಿಸಿ
ನನ್ನೆದೆಯಲಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಹಡೆದವನೆ.
ಸಂತಸ ದುಃಖಗಳ ಸಪ್ತಪದಿಯನ್ನು
ಹೆಜ್ಜೆಗೆ ಹೆಜ್ಜೆ ಇಟ್ಟು ನಡೆದವನೆ.

ನೋವು ನಲಿವಲ್ಲಿ ಬಾಳ ಸಂಗಾತಿಯಾದ
ಪ್ರಾಣ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತನು ನೀನವನೆ.
ಜೀವನದ ಅನೇಕ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯಗಳಲಿ
ನನ್ನ ಪಾಲಿನ ವಿಸ್ಮಯ ನನ್ನವನೆ.

BTFYA 4 - The happily ever after :).

Fate certainly had other plans :). At this particular time 5 years ago (it was about 5-6 PM in the evening when Sri and his parents came home to "see" me), I had no clue that my life was about to change in a very drastic manner. I was tired of seeing the same old guys who were hardly compatible and thought that this would be another re-telecast. There must have been a little hope somewhere, but I don't really remember that now. So I was looking forward more to the trip to my chikkappa's house (for the Deepawali Balipadyami celebrations) than to the guy-seeing ceremony. So to say that Sri was a pleasant surprise just doesn't seem enough - he was so much more than that :-D.

We talked lots and lots about ourselves (imagine we had to decide to commit to a person in a matter of about 2 hours alone in a room just an eavesdrop away from our parents :-D) and one of the things that impressed me was that he was encouraging about my so-called trekking adventures, sharing that he had done hang-gliding in Himachal Pradesh (albeit with an instructor). That part was certainly good - taking limited risks ;-). I am still a bit jealous that I haven't done it yet ;-). It was the most positive guy-seeing experience I ever had, but somehow I blocked off the decision making process. Maybe because it was so positive, something in me just didn't want to believe he was a great guy and wanted to confirm it by seeing him again. Some switch in my brain flipped to "meet-again" and refused to continue the signal to any sort of decision :-D.

I did learn a lot of things that day but I learnt more from then on as time went by and even now, each day is a revelation :). So here are my enlightenments -

• Next time we met, the first things I learnt were that Sri's height is greater than me in my platform shoes and that his dimples curled just the way I loved, hehehee :)).


• More importantly, I felt like a cave woman next to a very sophisticated modern man. We went to a pizza place for dinner and Sri actually used a fork and a knife to eat the damn thing, while I chewed away at the pizza holding it in my bare hands :-p. After that there was many a time where I have had the thought "Why does this guy even want to marry an uncouth like me?" ;-) :-D. But well, I have to admit he never really used a fork and knife to eat pizza after that, but he sure is always much cleaner than me even if he does eat with his hands ;-). Till today I tease him that he was showing off and he is nonchalant about it as if it came very naturally to him :-p.


• Some of the first things I asked of Sri seem a bit silly to me now :-D. I told him flatly that I didn't know how to cook, but that I'd learn (and I did learn :-D) - he said he cooks, so that was alright :-D. That I didn't really like to wear a saree (even now I am not very comfy) and would like my clothes to be my choice, he just said okay. That I'd call him by name (instead of the various Kannada hubby-addressing-mechanisms like "Ree", "Ivre" and "Enoondre" :-D) and "Neenu" instead of "Neevu" (in my defense, we have only 3 years of age difference between us and it felt like a generation gap to call him "neevu" :-D). He said he didn't have any problems with that. Many a time while saying such things I have felt that maybe he must have thought me foolish, but he took me seriously. He never laughed it all off as a girl's fanciful stuff or treat it with disdain. And in 5 years he has never brought it up and fussed about anything (despite the fact that I refer to him as "Avanu" or "Ivanu" i.e in a singular context in front of my in-laws too!). It kinda showed me that he listened to what I had to say and respected my choices :).


• One of the things we are totally opposite in is that Sri is hardly excited about anything - whilst I keep jumping up and down at every little thing. I guess most men are like that :-D. They are supposed to be the steady rocks when their wives are the rivers :-D. But I get frustrated even now about it, because sometimes its impossible to guess his reaction to some of the things I blurt out. I think the only time I've actually seen animated expressions on his face is when he is doing/talking about something related to technology :-p. I still haven't completely learnt to read into his expressions, so he is as enigmatic as he was 5 years ago :).


• I really appreciate that Sri never imposes his opinions and philosophies on anyone. For that matter I don't even know whether he has any philosophy at all, except to take life as it comes. My sweetheart's a smooth sailor ;-). He never acts like a know-it-all, never dictates things to me and is always willing to learn from me. I love that about him because I don't like being bossed around, thats usually my prerogative ;-) :-D.


• I have to mention something about Sri's forgetfulness. I'm not talking about him forgetting important dates/events (well, how can he do that? :-D), but more of a day-to-day stuff. For example, he may forget what I cooked the previous day :-D. I keep pulling his leg saying that if I'm not around for a few days, he'll not remember who I am :-p. Sometimes its a boon (he doesn't really remember any mistakes that I may have made ;-) :-D), but usually its a bane. I usually ask him to remind me something and usually end up regretting it. He's getting better, but I still haven't learnt from these types of mistakes ;-), hehehe :)).


• Once Snugli came into our lives, I started seeing Sri in a totally new light. I have always admired his patience but the word takes on a completely different meaning when it comes to Snugli. He never ever flares up on her, never gets frustrated no matter how frustrating she is or in turn I am and is always like a calm lull while I'm the raging hurricane. No wonder she never takes his scoldings seriously ;-) :-D. I love to watch them play silly games and I'm proud to see him take care of her without complaints. He even misses her fluttering around us when she is sleeping (while I heave a sigh of relief ;-) :-D)! As I see her grow up, I learn new inspiring things about him. He leads by example, making me a better mother and a better person :).

I feel very strange when I write these types of posts. Whereas you get to know me through my blog, you get to know Sri through only my version of him and the way I feel about him. Its as if you are not getting to know the person but someone's idea of a person. Weird :-\.

Anyways, as you can see, I found my tall, dimpled, sophisticated, ever-listening, respectful, enigmatic, non-preachy, forgetful, patient and wonderful-father-material man, 5 years ago on this very day and learnt the difference between infatuation and love :). I have many blessings in my life that I count daily and am very much grateful for and Sri is the greatest blessing of them all :). This is how Saturday the 13th actually turned out to be the luckiest day of my life :-D (coincidentally today's Friday the 13th :-D).

Happy 5th day-we-met anniversary my love :)

Kaise we met..

Here in my blog, I have written several posts (4 including this one) about the first time Sri and I met. Well, today is the D-day, so as you have started to expect from me, I had to write a post. But this time I wanted to tell you how we met (I realized only now that I haven't really talked about that :-p).

We actually met through the internet! Those who are familiar with the previous posts will disbelieve me, accusing me of lying saying "You said it was an arranged marriage". Yes it is, but it was arranged through the internet :-D. Well, as the modern searching for a guy method, we registered in Kannadamatrimony.com. The point is that though we registered under dad's name, it was usually me and mom who did the checking and contacting. This is not a story about how many profiles we contacted and how many we heard back from, but let me tell you they were many in number :-\.

And so we contacted this profile (the profiles didn't have names, only numbers) and since it didn't have a photo associated, we asked for a photo, all under my dad's name of course ;-). And we got a photo. To this day I don't know why he sent that photo, it was not a very good one (he says it was the only one handy). He looked very thin in it and you couldn't really make out his face that properly. Lets just say it was not flattering in any way at all. But we didn't want to decide without meeting the guy, so we gave further details to go ahead in the process.

His father even called dad and talked for quite sometime. But later we didn't hear from them at all, so we thought that he must have agreed to marry somebody else and to be frank, it wasn't really surprising. This kind of a thing keeps happening. But what was actually happening at his end was that his maternal grandfather passed away and obviously it wasn't really the right time for them to proceed. Moreover, Sri was on one of his innumerable short trips to the US, so they had decided to continue only once he came back to India. And yes, in his side, though he had registered under his dad's name, it was him and later his mom that was doing all the mailing ;-).

So suddenly in November, we got this call saying "the boy" was in India in Hyderabad, but they'd be coming to Bangalore and would we be okay to meet. We decided on Saturday, Nov 13th 2004 which was also the 3rd day of Deepawali that year. We planned to meet them and then be off to Ramnagar to my Chikkappa's place for Deepawali celebrations. They were delayed since they were coming from Rajajinagar (I really hated it when the boys' family would make us wait :-p) and they finally arrived at around 6 PM, I think. Well then we talked and I didn't decide, but he said "Yes" immediately and all that :-p (I remember him talking and talking and me thinking "We are getting late, c'mon enough already" :-D, hehehehehe).

And so we met and you know the rest. Or do you? ;-) >:-) :-D.

Some "facts":

• Sri "saw" 2 girls before meeting me (thats all!). I must have "seen" minimum 20 guys (if not guys atleast their parents)! The common factor is that we didn't like anyone before seeing each other. Looks like we were meant to be together ;-).


• After they left, mom actually said that the boy is very thin and dark and might not be suitable for me :-D. We tease her about it to this day :-D. On the same note, dad and Darsh agreed that he was alright ;-) :).


• Have to mention this - Puttanna chikkappa, without even seeing the guy, said that this was the guy I'd marry. We have a thing in Udupi side called manE-bhootha (meaning house-ghost) who is supposed to safeguard the people of a family. Each family will have this ghost. There was a big festival organized (called kOla - those who know this will know what I'm talking about) for our bootha, just around weeks back before I met Sri which Puttanna chikkappa attended and was told that soon a match will come for me and that I'd get married :-\. So he was extremely happy when Sri's dad called up the next day and said the big "Yes". He was surprised that I wanted to "think" about it :-D. Still don't know whether to believe the kOla thing or not :-\.


• Last but certainly not the least, I later during different occasions asked Sri what made him say "Yes" and got many answers - that he liked my front cut (hair cut), that he liked my so-he-called-perfect teeth, that he liked the fact that I trekked (so basically I'd not pester him for an auto if I was asked to walk even for a while) and that I was ready for marriage. Well, to this day I tease him about whether he was looking for a girl or a horse? Recognize the similarities? :-p :-D.

Its still difficult to believe that its been 4 years since I first met him! The journey so far has had its share of ups and downs, lefts and rights, norths and souths and easts and wests and what not :-D. But I wouldn't want anyone else as my co-traveller and thats the truth :).

Happy "first-meet" anniversary Sri :)

That day to today..

That day, 3 years ago, I didn't know whether I wanted to be with him. Contrarily he did.

Today I know that I'd rather be with him than anyone else.


That day, 3 years ago, I didn't know we'd get along so well. In fact, I didn't know whether we'd get along at all.

Today I know we are made for each other :).


That say, 3 years ago, I didn't even know whether I wanted to see him again. I was confused, unsure.

Today I know I live to see him everyday..


That day, 3 years ago, there we were - 2 separate individuals who didn't know whether they had anything in common.

Today here we are - we have everything in common, we have made a life together and managed to create a life together :).


That day, 3 years ago, I didn't know whether he was the one for me.

Today I know that we were always meant to be...

P.S: Nov 13th is the day Sri and I first met :).

Constant change ;-)

2 years? 2 years. 2 years! 2 years!!

Its been 2 years since the day Sri and I met. Life couldn't be any better, touchwood :). I know I have said it before, but my god! I still cannot believe all this is happening to me. Sometimes life feels like a sweet dream ;-).

They say change is the only constant thing. In 2 years, I've changed a lot. I have talked previously about changes like cooking, working from home, but thats not what I want to write about today. Its about how my attitude has changed from where I was before I met Sri and now :).

Before	Now
Before I met him, I didn't really trust my judgement. There were too many "what if"s and I didn't really know how or whether I'd find my "Mr.Right".	Now I know my judgement is excellant :-D.
Before I met him, I thought a couple could understand each other without words. The spoken word was negligible.	Now I know thats not so. Communication is the foundation of a relationship. If there's no talk, then there are so many possibilities for multiple misunderstandings. Telepathy just doesn't work ;-).
Before I met him, I wasn't very career-oriented as such, but was determined to be financially independent.	Now, I don't mind leaving my job as such, not that I'd leave it. But am not hung up on my job as I earlier used to be.
Before I met him, I didn't really think leaving Bangalore (staying very far away from my parents) was a possibility. I thought I was prepared for such a scenario, but I really wasn't.	Now, not only have I left what I ever knew as home, I have gotten adjusted to living in a country with very obviously a different life-style altogether. I now know that though living away from everyone is sad sometimes, it has actually helped us grow closer together, made our bond stronger.
And lastly, before I met him, I thought I knew what love was. I thought I knew how a marriage worked.	Now I know its nothing like I ever imagined. Its even better ;-) :-D.

And this is only the beginning ;-) :-D.

Listening to: "Ek Din Aap Yoon" from "Yes Boss".

Ek din aap yoon humko miljayenge
Phool hi phool raahon me khiljaayenge
Mene socha na tha..

Ek din zindagi itni hogi haseen
Jhumega aasmaan gaayegi yeh zameen
Mene socha na tha..

Then we met.....

Yup another poem. This time a very simple one to say how grateful I am to have Sri in my life. Last year, same day i.e 13th November 2004, almost at the same time (Its about 6:30 to 7:00 PM in India now), I met Sri for the first time. Ours was a typical arranged marriage and he came to "see" me :-D. Now he has to see me everyday whether he wants to or not :-p :-D. The great man asked me questions per questions and said yes to his parents immediately after departing from my house!! I remember being stumped as I hadn't even decided whether to say Yes or No!! I took about a week, met him again after a week and later said Yes. So the equation is

His impulsive decision = My thought-out decision
==> A bakra and a bakri were trapped together 3 months later :-D

Hehehee. This poem is dedicated to my Sriram and all the joy he has brought into my life :).

Then we met....




Was it only an year ago
That I didn't even know you?
Then we met and life changed,
As if it was always meant to.

I was confused, lonely and
Searching for a soul mate.
Then we met and it was as though
A surprising turn around of fate.

I admit now that at first
I was fully apprehensive..
Then we met again and simply
Was I no more ever pensive..

I knew you were the one
and a decision was made.
Then we met again and again
And later vows were said..

Now I'm glad, so happy
That we are man and wife.
Then we met, now we are bound
Together with love for life..

Then we met and the rest is history.. Oops, err, the rest is the present and the future we have together :).