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One thing moms with infants know is how difficult it is to burp babies. So whenever I get a successful burp out of Sunny these days, I involuntarily exclaim "Good job!".
I don't really have to tell you what happened next right?
One day Snugli after finishing her lunch comes to me, burps loudly and says "Look mom, I burped!" :-D.
Hehehee :))).
Two things before I start off on the birth story this time. One, thanks to all those who left their wishes on Sunny's birth. Things have been so hectic around here that its been difficult to even leave a comment and I'm sorry for that. But right now, we are adjusting to a whole new routine and you know that takes time :). Secondly, as I said this is the birth story, so those who don't want to read the "gory" details, please leave now, or you know you'll regret it later ;-) :-p. Also, all of the definitions in Snugli's birth story hold good for this post as well. So please feel free to refer to that anytime :-p.
They say, the second time things will be much faster. They say that the delivery usually happens a lot earlier than the first time. They say the contractions become frequent, regular and painful sooner. They say you won't have time to get to the hospital, so you better leave early and so on and so forth. But well, "they" were all wrong in my case. 39 weeks and I wasn't even having proper contractions - they were still in the Braxton-Hicks mode. They were in no way painful (and believe me, I'm glad about that :-p), but things weren't progressing as I expected them to. I had felt heavy throughout this pregnancy so was expecting the baby to appear sooner and nothing was happening. I was already out of patience..
On May 20th, I had an appointment with my gynec, in which I was told that she was worried about my weight and she was thinking that the baby might be on the heavy side. I was told to get an ultrasound weight measurement and warned of the possibility that the baby may be heavier than 10 pounds. If so, then we'd have to seriously consider a C-section. I wasn't really worried about the so-called surgery (though I did run a scenario in my mind where I'd be wheeled to the operation theatre and holding Sri's hand, would say to him "Agar mujhe kuch hogaya toh khudka aur humaare bachchon ka khayaal rakhna" :-D) but C-section has several consequences - breastfeeding is tougher, recovery takes time and all that, so was a bit worried about that. But obviously we would follow the gynec's advice, 'cause thats what ensured the safety of the little one.
Well, the Ultrasound was scheduled on Wednesday, May 25th and the day came. We couldn't really make out anything in the pics as such as the baby was grown, but at the end of it, we were told that the baby was measuring 9 pounds and 7 ounces. There was a 10% margin of error and we were hoping that it'd be on the lower side ;-). My gynec suggested that since there'd be a weekly growth of half a pound for the baby, there was simply no point in waiting (as the 10 pound threshold would be crossed) and the best thing would be induction. The induction had some risks of suddenly becoming a C-section, but since we were looking at the same thing if we waited, it wasn't really a risk as such :-\. So it was decided that I'd get admitted to the hospital the next night and they'd start the induction process. The initial procedure would take the night and in the morning, the process would speeden up and the baby was expected to be born at around May 27th afternoon.
The next day, May 26th, everything went according to plan, meaning nothing happened for me to rush to the hospital ;-) :-D, so we went and got admitted in the hospital at around 8 PM in the night. I had told Snugli several times about how I had to go to the hospital and stay for a while there, but wasn't sure how she'd take to both me and Sri being missing for hours together. So I asked him to go back home with her and keep her bedtime schedule as normal as possible (meaning wait till she falls asleep) and then come back to the hospital. I had also asked my parents to sleep in our room, so that they can keep an eye on her. So once everyone left, the nurse asked me a 100 questions about medical history (as usual) and placed the baby heartbeat and the contraction monitoring devices on my abdomen. She also set up an IV in my arm. Since my cervix hadn't dilated to even 1 cm, the first process would be cervical ripening.
Cervical ripening refers to the softening of the cervix into a dilated opening. The agent they used in my case is called Cytotec which is inserted vaginally to start the ripening. After 3 hours, I was checked again (this time the cervix was about 1.5 cm) and administered a second dose. I was hardly able to sleep since the baby was moving all the time and the nurses kept coming in to change the position of the baby heartbeat monitor :-p. At about 3:45 AM, the actual contractions started - they were not very painful, but just enough to wake me and keep me awake. At 6 AM in the morning, the next stage of induction started. The nurse added Pitocin to my IV to kick off the contractions in full mode. And mad, did they! In about half an hour, the contractions had speedened up and by 7 AM I was screaming at the top of my lungs for the epidural :-D. I can grin at it now, but the pain was crazy, it felt worse than the time I had Snugli, but seriously I don't even remember enough to compare.
The nurse checked my cervix and it had dilated to about 5 cm by then. Epidural, as I have said in the earlier birth story, takes its own sweet time :-p. Since epidural lowers the blood pressure of the mom, the mom is first given fluids through the IV and only then the epidural is administered. So yeah, I was screaming for another hour before I was given the damn thing. The good part is that my water broke somewhere within that hour, so that water-breaking part was avoided. All this time, Sri was holding my hand and trying to encourage me to breathe. Half the time, I was crying because of the pain and he'd ask me to stop crying since it'd make me lose my breathing pattern. I think, at one point I literally shouted at him that I couldn't help but cry and that he could shut it :-D. At the end of the hour, I called the nurseline and shouted for the anesthesiologist. Thankfully he was on his way and what seemed like many contractions later, I was sitting up and the epidural needle was finally piercing my back into my spinal chord. Man, I can still taste that relief. Later I told my mom that she was great for going through 2 deliveries without epidural and "nanna doDDa namaskaara" to all such women ("my big salutation" :-D). I have to marvel at the pain-suffering capability of women and am glad to have born in this world which has epidural :-p.
Anyways, after epidural, it was bliss for 2 hours in which time my parents, Darsh and Snugli came to the hospital to see how I was. Dad, Snugli and Darsh soon left to wait at the waiting area which even had a play area for Snugli. Then the nurse came in, checked me and declared that I had dilated to 10 cm. She called my gynec for the labour and got everything else ready. Soon, my gynec was there and I was pushing with all my strength (which I had to gather again and again). After several of these pushes, nothing happened :-\. The baby's heartbeat was falling and I was given an oxygen mask to breathe through and ease that. 2 more pushes later, still the baby wasn't making an appearance, so the doc decided to perform an episiotomy and pull the baby out with the help of a vacuum. And so, Sunny came into this world on May 27th 2011 at 11:22 AM EST.
I was crying again, mainly because of relief and the baby was again placed on my belly and Sri was asked to cut the umbilical cord. Sunny was taken to the warmer and checked for the apgar. The baby weighed 10 pounds and 7 ounces! Baap re! I don't even know how they got her out! I was told that they would be checking her sugar levels since bigger babies usually have lower sugar levels. But she was fine :). Her pediatrician later said that she was surprised to have been brought into this world suddenly so there were some problems with her breathing patterns but everything else was fine. She even has a small bump on her head thanks to the vacuum, but the doc says that'll soon be alright.
This time, we had the camera with us, so were able to take photos once my family joined us :).
Here's Sri with the newborn..
Me with my 2 darlings :).
Here's Snugli with Sunny :).
And here are my parents:
And there's Darsh who was really afraid to hold the minutes-old baby, but soon was behaving like a pro :-D.
And here's the 3-day old Sunny :).
So what else has happened in the past 2 weeks?
1) I have realized that a few more things you never forget once you learn how to do them (other than swimming) are swaddling and diaper changing :-p. Or Maybe you should ask me when I am a grandmom :-D.
2) Unlike Snugli, Sunny didn't have a jaundice problem. She did have high bilirubin levels in the hospital and we were asked to go to the pediatrician for a follow-up, but the levels, thankfully, remained low. But I do have a major rant. Usually babies lose weight for a while after they are born until the mom's milk starts. And the particular pediatrician we saw raised concern about it and insisted that either I have to pump and supplement her or feed her extra formula. I remember the same guy doing the same thing for Snugli too (he must be the organization's formula marketing fellow :-p). Sometimes even though you know its not necessary, you have to follow what the doctor says. So I pumped, 2 times, when I faced the engorgement monster. Man, I was so mad at that stupid doctor. I must have cursed that man a 100 times :-D >:-). I stopped pumping after that and never gave Sunny any formula. Next day when we went for the follow-up checkup, she had actually gained weight (we saw another doc, had we seen the same doc, I'd have given him a piece of my mind grrrrrr).
3) Snugli absolutely loves little Sunny. She wants to hold her and carry her and what not. Sadly, during the first week, Snugli had a bout of cough and cold and we had to keep her away. But now that she's alright, whenever she sees Sunny, she shouts "Saani" and cleans her hands with a sanitizer (her dad's insistent rule :-D), then runs to her side to hug and kiss her :). She is curious about everything - the diaper changing where she insists on helping (God save us :-D), the swaddling and even the feeding (much to my discomfort :-D). On the flip side, her behaviour with us has turned to a worse phase. She doesn't listen to anything we say, doesn't obey a bit and usually listens only when we threaten her with spankings. She was pretty okay during the 2 days we were away at the hospital, though she asked for me whenever she got up at nights. But after that, she has been quite unbearable. Some of it might be due to her grandparents' pampering ;-) :-D, and some might be because she didn't go to school for the first week, but the rest of it, the pediatrician says, might be just to get attention (he says "if not good attention, then bad attention" :-D). Hopefully things should be back on track soon.
Thats about it for now, I still have loads to write - want to write about Sunny's thottilushaastra, and about the baaNanthana thats going on (have been wanting to write about that since Snugli was born, better late than never :-p) and many more things. But don't really know when I'll get the time to post, sigh :-\.
Our new latest diamond is all polished, lustrous and ready to be set.
Please join us in welcoming our second bundle of joy Saanidhya into this world.
Saa.ni.dhya
1. Proximity
2. Closeness
3. Affectionate
4. Togetherness
Delivery: Normal
Birth Date: 27-May-2011
Time: 11:22 AM EST
Weight: 10.7 lbs!!!! (yeah poor mom :-D)
The mom is a bit tired (to say the least) from all the pounds on the baby and the baby still a bit surprised to be dragged out unexpectedly (induced because of the weight anticipated). But both are doing well and will be home in a couple of days. The dad is a professional diaper changer already and the new big sister is all excited about the little one :). Photos will be up shortly :).
Today I complete 9 months date wise, the due date is still a week away and I have no end in sight :(. I am running out of patience and though I pull my tired body along, its like c'mon little one, its time :-p. I feel like a dullard half the time (not that I can claim to know "what" a dullard feels :-p), tired and achy all the other times. The only good thing is that I am able to go ahead and cook a few specialties of my own for my dearest family who are all here (before you jump on me for that, let me specify that I'm not straining myself too much). Its wonderful to have dad back here, but whats better than that is having Darsh. Last time he couldn't be here and this time he already has a couple of plans in place to visit his friends. Yet, its very nice to be with him whenever we do get the time. The best part is that he has never seen me pregnant before, so he keeps eyeing my stomach as if it has an alien inside :-D. Even refers to it as a basketball (yeah my stomach texture actually feels like that - all rubbery and strong). Kinda brings back my first pregnancy memories :-D.
Anyways that certainly wasn't why I'm writing this post. I have been meaning to write this one and a couple of other ones before delivery, but I'm not sure whether I can deal with the 2 other posts I planned. So glad to be able to put up this one atleast. This pregnancy as I have told you has been full of weird times. Where there were some really tiring times, there have been crazy times like me running around in my 6th month :-D. Don't worry, I was running in the swimming pool for exercize inbetween swimming sessions :-D. There have been astonishing moments other than these, especially thanks to having Snugli around. So lets wrap up the incidents.
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I think I have mentioned this before, but we decided to inform her the news as soon as the doctor confirmed. I was really insistent on that because I didn't want the news coming to her from others, even grandparents for that matter. 3 year olds aren't really supposed to have lasting memories, but you never know what impacts where :-p. So the first person we informed after the doc's appointment was Snugli :). I don't even think she understood, because there wasn't much of a reaction at all. After I repeated the news a couple of times her response was -
"Puttu baby bandre naanu hello heLthini" ("If little one arrives, then I'll say Hello" :-D).
Hehehee :).
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One of the things parents are worried about is the dreaded question - why? It happened once and thankfully I was able to escape without giving away the technical details ;-).
Me: "Amma hotteli puttu baby ideyalla" ("There is a little one inside mom's stomach.")
Snugli: "Yaake?" ("Why?")
Me: "Maththe nin jothe aaDlikke yaaradru bekalla ninge?" ("You need someone to play with you right?")
Snugli: "Huun" ("Yes" happily).
Phew, beeso doNNe tapthu (I escaped the swinging bat :-D).
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Once the little one started kicking, I tried to get Snugli to feel the kicks. But thats easier said than done with a hyperactive 3 year old :-p. Whenever I would feel movements, I'd call her and tell her to "Shshsh" with my finger on my mouth sign and try to keep her still. Her response?
"Amma enu sound keLtha illa" (Mom, I can't hear any sound")
I had to convince her each time that there's no sound with the kicks :-p.
Once she has been able to feel a few flutters, other questions (obviously) have risen :-p.
Snugli: "Amma, puttu baby yaake kick kick maadtha ide?" ("Mom, why is the small baby kicking?")
Me: "Puttu baby ge hotteli jaaga illa alwa, adhikke." ("The small baby doesn't have much space in mom's stomach, thats why."
God!
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I keep reminding Snugli that she needs to share her old rattles/toys with the little one and she has always seemed happy to (don't know what the reality will be :-p). One day, she suddenly comes to me with a big smile and a rattle in hand. She says:
"Amma, ee rattle puttu baby ge. Naanu puttu baby ge rattle shake shake maadthini, puttu baby ha ha ha antha nagthade" ("Mom, this rattle is for the small baby. I'll shake the rattle in front of the baby and the baby will laugh ha ha ha")
:).
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Now that she's aware that the little one either sleeps or kicks inside the stomach, this is something that happens regularly at our house :-D. One morning,
Snugli: "Amma, puttu baby enu maadhta ide?" ("Mom whats the small baby doing?")
Me: "Jojo maadtha ide." ("Its sleeping.")
Snugli: "Good morning aaithu, innu yaake jojo maadtha ide?" ("Its good morning, why is it still sleeping?")
Me: "Hotteli kitaki illwalla, puttu baby ge good morning antha goththagolla. Addrinda jojo maadtha ide." ("There are no windows in mom's stomach, so small baby doesn't know its good morning, which is why its sleeping").
Yeah, it hasn't been easy to have a quick reply ready :-p.
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One day I was eating some adike (arekanut), when Snugli madam wanted to know what I was eating. Since I wanted to avoid giving her adike, I gave her some jeerige mithai and told her I was eating the same. She immediately retorts - "Open your mouth and show me"!! Madam wants proof, hehehe :)).
Yet another day when I took her to the library, I parked the car in a different section than I usually do as the usual one was almost full. Her retort - "Why didn't you park there? There are still 2 spots open!", pointing to the empty spots available.
God! Most of the times, it feels like I have a grandma around who is always criticizing everything I do and proof-checking things. I told her that she was "nammane ajji" ("Our home's grandma") and her reaction?
"Naanu ajji alla. Naanu akka aagthene puttu baby ge." ("I'm not a grandma, I will be a big sister to the little baby.")
There's no outsmarting the little one, not anymore :-p.
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One evening, I was sitting with Snugli next to me when the baby inside kicked.
Me: "Hi baby, how are you?" to the little one inside (in English).
Snugli: "Amma, puttu baby 'Fine, thank you' heLlilla" ("Mom, small baby is not saying 'Fine, thank you' back") with a sad puzzled face.
I had a tough time convincing her that the baby is not going to be saying anything anytime soon :-D.
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Since about more than a month, she has become extremely adamant. Despite threats and bribes and severe consequences, hardly listens to us. Even her teacher was complaining that she doesn't even respond when her name is called. After my mom came along and now that my dad and Darsh are here, things have only gone downhill. Even if we scold her a little, she cries at the top of her voice and makes a big fuss with heavy drops of ears in her eyes. And you can imagine how grandparents are :-D. So yeah, we have tough times ahead ;-).
I have started preparing her for my hospital trip - saying that I'll be gone for a couple of days and that she has to be with her grandparents for that time. And though she can come and visit me, she'll not be allowed to stay there and so on. She nods as if she understands, but I know there's going to be a fuss. I hope it'll all be minimal. Plus one of Sri's cousins gave me this idea of the older sibling exchanging a gift with the new arrival - a ritual that kind of makes the older kid comfortable ;-) :-D. I thought that there would be no harm in trying it and so I went with her to shop for a small gift for the little one. We both wrapped it up today and had a good time decorating it :-D. Meanwhile, I have a secret gift ready for her (from the newly arriving baby :-D) which is something she has been asking for and hope she loves it :-D. So the gifts are all set to be passed to and fro :-D.
I'd be lying if I say I'm not worried about the whole transition. She still calls out to me for certain things, so I plan to make it a point to be there for those, but I know it can get a lot tighter with the various chores and stuff. I only hope I have the strength (I know I have ample support :-D) to manage it and cross everything in a smooth way. Lets see :).
16th May 2011, Monday night:
Me: Just wished happy journey to Dad and Darsh who are taking a flight here :). I'm so excited! But man, oh man, I forgot to tell them that there'll be only..
The baby kicks.
Me: Uh, where was I? Yeah, there'll be only one customs form issued per family. I didn't even ask what they were doing about..
The baby kicks.
Me: If you keep interrupting my thought flow with your kicks, how am I supposed to think? :-p. Now what was I thinking about? Umm, immigration. I hope they..
Another kick.
Me: Man, I give up!
(I guess this little one is not even as patient as Snugli was when she was in my womb - she'd atleast listen to her mom's weird thoughts before proceeding with her timely kicks ;-) :-D, hehehe).
I know this might be a wrong time to start a new set of posts as I may not really get the time to follow up on it for quite sometime, but have been meaning to do this for quite a while now. My brain keeps running with some serious thoughts sometimes and I feel like putting them up in a post, but somehow they become too many and then I don't feel like writing anymore. Recently, I joined a group on Facebook and managed to post a set of thoughts there. Thats when I got the idea of doing this on my blog - a themed set of posts where I ponder seriously about something that takes over my brain. Hence, presenting the "Thinking corner". I don't want to push this any more, so lets start off without delay :).
There are many times when I wonder why we are here. Why are we born? Why do we live? Why do we die? Are we just specks of dust that are aware that they exist? Or do our lives really make a difference anywhere in this vast universe?
We all know that our lives affect atleast a few. Imagine concentric circles with the centre point being you. Your spouse or significant other is the first circle. Your parents, children, in-laws make up the second one. Your best friends form the third, first set of relatives the fourth, so on and so forth until your acquaintances make up the last circle. Most of the time, your life affects only these concentric circles and never ventures beyond the acquaintances circle. Yes, people in public lives like authors, celebrities or politicians go beyond these circles and affect the lives of strangers. But for a normal human being, the acquaintance circle is the end of it. And the nearer the circle to the center, the more the effect of your life, meaning the effect of our lives decrease as the circles become bigger. So who does my life impact most? Me.
My life belongs to me the most. Your life belongs to you the most. My life makes a difference, to me. We have all heard of reincarnations (life beyond the current life), souls and ghosts. Its all good to hear, but we don't have solid proof for any of it. Death might be the complete stop for everything we know. So for all we know, this might be the only life we have. We may not get another chance like this. I do not believe in past lives, I may have had them, but I don't remember them anyways. And so it goes for future lives as well. I have been extremely lucky in getting the sort of life I have now and I may not be so lucky even if there are future lives. Hence I believe in taking full advantage of the only life I have, in living as much as I can in the short duration we have in this world. We don't know what tomorrow holds for us. The question you have to ask yourself is this "If tomorrow is the end of your world, would you have regrets?". If so, then you need to make changes so that you don't.
We all know that we have to compromise and make adjustments for things in our lives to go smooth. But if the compromises and adjustments you make are causing you unhappiness, then are they really worth it? At the risk of sounding extremely selfish, there is a limit to everything, even personal sacrifice. If you are the only one making compromises and nobody else is even putting in the effort, then its bound to cause regrets at a later point in life when you look back and see what you have been through. There is just no point in bending to everything and everyone and later complain about how you have sacrificed all your life. Sometimes, to live your life, you have to be assertive (not aggressive) and let people know what you expect in a clear manner.
Though some of the following might sound like cliché, I have seen people never expressing what they feel to their family members, not showing they love them; People not taking vacations despite being able to do so financially, not spending enough moments with their spouses or have spare time for their children; People whose aim is only to make money and not really spending it for a worthy cause; People who don't help others in need or contrastingly do help, but only to show off; People making promises they never keep; People who are total hypocrites, preaching something while they do something totally opposite. Is this really how we want our one and only life to be? Ultimately, we are the ones living our lives, we are the ones making all the decisions. Live in the moment and try and make a difference.
All this being said, I don't have answers for any of the questions I asked in the first paragraph of this post. The fact is we may never have the answers. Everybody doesn't have the privilege of searching for answers, many don't have the financial circumstances for it and many others don't have the interest. Still others go for religious and spiritual guidance to look for answers. Yet others have pondered the questions, have decided that they probably will never know the answers and are satisfied with that. There are all kinds of people in this world. What works for someone need not work for you and what works for you need not be the solution for someone else. Whatever makes you happy is the key to life. Live and let live.
"The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is 42"- by Douglas Adams in " The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".
"So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done?
Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying"
- Kris Allen in the song "Live Like We're Dying".
