Back to the future?

While I've been away from the blog, one of the things I've been working on is to be less judgmental of people. I've become an even more firm believer of "live and let live" policy. So I believe any adult has a right to do what whatever she/he wishes. And I have a right to judge only if this particular action is impacting/harming my family in anyway. I'm sort of proud to say that my tolerance levels have increased in everything. I'm much more open to others having different ideas be it in religion, politics and sexuality. The only thing I'm against is fanaticism of any kind in anything. I get outraged when people start becoming fanatic about everything from language to sexuality and actually feel offended at such mentality. Maybe its because I have lived in a country far different from mine in most of the things that matter and I've come to believe that nothing is above humanity. If you are degrading another human for something you are fighting for, then that "something" is not worth it. Its such a global world now that even "patriotism" doesn't have a meaning for me like it did before. I think a person has the right to make choices and even though their choice might not be the same as mine, I'll always support their right to choose.

Well, generally this "acceptance" of mine is well and good, but I still find myself being very judgmental with people who I consider close to me. And here, I'm not talking about big issues like religion or politics. Its the simplest things. For eg: a person might be too kind that others take advantage of them, while another is always making judgments on others. Yet another person might be blaming everyone other than themselves for their "misfortune" while another person altogether, is always complaining about their situation and never grateful for what they have. There's another person who keeps making statements that "Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error" and then doesn't even bother to mail me or keep in touch with me. From my statement, you can see that I'm a little vehement in my feelings for these people. I find it very hard to "forgive and forget" people who I consider close to me or "live and let live" when it comes to them. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because I care too much. But caring too much doesn't mean that you have to change people into your ways of thinking. If everybody is like me then whats the fun? ;-). If the kind person is okay to be taken advantage of, then who I am I to say anything? If a person is happy being judgmental of others, then why should I let it bother me? If a person is not grateful or blaming others for their situations, then I should accept that those are the type of people they are and I should be okay with what they are. Who am I to say "Holier than thou"? Right now, I'm making an effort to apply the generosity that I have for the "general" to the "particular". I've succeeded to some extent, but I find it very difficult sometimes. It's still a work in progress, but succeed, I must.

You may ask me why I'm so bothered about this and I'll tell you. Its that some part of me is worried about the future. Soon our children will be adults and will start making decisions of their own. You may tell me that its too soon to worry about that and that there is still lots of time. But that's not so. If today I'm not accepting of my outer circle's decisions and choices, how will I ever accept my own children's choices tomorrow? If today we think that we are so-called modern, what will tomorrow bring? So many things have changed in the past generation, but the truth is that we haven't seen everything. What we have come to accept today will be NOTHING compared to the tomorrows headed our way. When our children grow up and start opting for their choices, the options might not always be something I'd chose to do. While I may completely disagree with their decisions and the decisions themselves may be huge mistakes, I want to be able to support them no matter what happens as a consequence. I want to be able to say to them "I think this maybe wrong. But if you are sure, I am with you no matter what. Better or worse, I'll be here for you". And try not to tell them "I told you so" in case things are not positive, as it will not really be useful to them in anyway.

I hope to God that I'll turn out to be such a mother. I hope to God that Sri and I will turn out to be such parents..