The separation anxiety..

Today, for the first time in her life and mine, I left Snugli in a day-care (the service provided by YMCA). Yes, it was only for an hour. Yes, I would be in the same building as she was. No, it still didn't mean I was comfortable with the whole thing. I was thinking for the whole time that we were taking her there that she had no clue what was coming. I expected the worse, but it was very smooth, a lot smoother than I imagined the whole experience to be. As soon as I went to the facilities, I completed the initial formalities (she was hovering around me rather than run to the toys there), I said bye and closed the door. She came running to the door, peered at me through the glass and cried her head off, all the while looking at me with accusing eyes. I felt really bad, but made an effort and walked away.

My class trainer hadn't arrived yet, so just 2 minutes later, I walked back to the center to see if she was okay. There was no crying sound, which was good. I slowly peeked in only to see that she was holding a stuffed toy and seemed to have forgotten all about me. Felt bad again. For the first time, I knew what they mean by separation anxiety, only the child wasn't feeling it, but I, as a parent was struggling with it. One part of me says its too early, but the other says that she has to start to be with other kids and enjoy playing with them (inturn if not stop, atleast reduce being so totally dependent on me). One part of me was really proud of her for being so brave and the other was somehow hurt. Well, it certainly compensated when she ran and hugged me as soon as she saw me when I went to pick her up. To summarize, I'm still reeling..

Update: Looks like I spoke much too soon. The above was yesterday's story. Today when I dropped her off, Snugli cried for 15 min continuously until the caregivers came and called me. I stayed with her another 15 min, but she clung to me most of the time and started to cry whenever I tried to let her go. Now I don't know what to think..