I did not know that about a nose line (huh?)

I have this horizontal line on my nose since I don't even remember when. I have always assumed it to be a feature which is something similar to a forehead line. Its pretty conspicuous on my nose, but I have never wondered about it or compared other noses to find out why. For me, it has always been a part of me :).

I've been having a sore throat for more than 2 weeks now and today I went to see the doctor about it. Well, it was diagnosed as a sinus infection, but this post is not about that. The doctor tried to confirm whether I had lots of allergies as a child. I did. I think I was allergic to parthenium which grew abundantly on unused site plots of Bangalore. I used to have bronchitis and used to get colds all the time. Then the doctor tells me that he knew that for certain that I had allergies and adds that its because of that line on my nose. According to him, when children have allergies and cold, they rub their noses all the time which supposedly causes a crease on the nose and later morphs into a horizontal line! The information left my mouth hanging open :).

Well, the nose line is still a part of me, but now I know how it became a part of me :-D .

Some people..

have an inherent talent of pissing others off. Its even more irritating that they aren't even aware of this exceptional talent :-p.

Back to the future?

While I've been away from the blog, one of the things I've been working on is to be less judgmental of people. I've become an even more firm believer of "live and let live" policy. So I believe any adult has a right to do what whatever she/he wishes. And I have a right to judge only if this particular action is impacting/harming my family in anyway. I'm sort of proud to say that my tolerance levels have increased in everything. I'm much more open to others having different ideas be it in religion, politics and sexuality. The only thing I'm against is fanaticism of any kind in anything. I get outraged when people start becoming fanatic about everything from language to sexuality and actually feel offended at such mentality. Maybe its because I have lived in a country far different from mine in most of the things that matter and I've come to believe that nothing is above humanity. If you are degrading another human for something you are fighting for, then that "something" is not worth it. Its such a global world now that even "patriotism" doesn't have a meaning for me like it did before. I think a person has the right to make choices and even though their choice might not be the same as mine, I'll always support their right to choose.

Well, generally this "acceptance" of mine is well and good, but I still find myself being very judgmental with people who I consider close to me. And here, I'm not talking about big issues like religion or politics. Its the simplest things. For eg: a person might be too kind that others take advantage of them, while another is always making judgments on others. Yet another person might be blaming everyone other than themselves for their "misfortune" while another person altogether, is always complaining about their situation and never grateful for what they have. There's another person who keeps making statements that "Do unto others 20% better than you would expect them to do unto you, to correct for subjective error" and then doesn't even bother to mail me or keep in touch with me. From my statement, you can see that I'm a little vehement in my feelings for these people. I find it very hard to "forgive and forget" people who I consider close to me or "live and let live" when it comes to them. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because I care too much. But caring too much doesn't mean that you have to change people into your ways of thinking. If everybody is like me then whats the fun? ;-). If the kind person is okay to be taken advantage of, then who I am I to say anything? If a person is happy being judgmental of others, then why should I let it bother me? If a person is not grateful or blaming others for their situations, then I should accept that those are the type of people they are and I should be okay with what they are. Who am I to say "Holier than thou"? Right now, I'm making an effort to apply the generosity that I have for the "general" to the "particular". I've succeeded to some extent, but I find it very difficult sometimes. It's still a work in progress, but succeed, I must.

You may ask me why I'm so bothered about this and I'll tell you. Its that some part of me is worried about the future. Soon our children will be adults and will start making decisions of their own. You may tell me that its too soon to worry about that and that there is still lots of time. But that's not so. If today I'm not accepting of my outer circle's decisions and choices, how will I ever accept my own children's choices tomorrow? If today we think that we are so-called modern, what will tomorrow bring? So many things have changed in the past generation, but the truth is that we haven't seen everything. What we have come to accept today will be NOTHING compared to the tomorrows headed our way. When our children grow up and start opting for their choices, the options might not always be something I'd chose to do. While I may completely disagree with their decisions and the decisions themselves may be huge mistakes, I want to be able to support them no matter what happens as a consequence. I want to be able to say to them "I think this maybe wrong. But if you are sure, I am with you no matter what. Better or worse, I'll be here for you". And try not to tell them "I told you so" in case things are not positive, as it will not really be useful to them in anyway.

I hope to God that I'll turn out to be such a mother. I hope to God that Sri and I will turn out to be such parents..

Pyjama mama :).

Saw this today and it struck a chord..



I don't know about you, but I'm always in my pajamas at home. I am comfortable in them and I like being comfortable. Have never really cared too much about my appearance (atleast when I'm home). Being in US, that's not really a problem as I've hardly any visitors dropping in without informing first. Well, that's what has spoiled me. Sometimes I wonder if and when we go back to India, how hard would it be to get rid of my so-called bad habits. When going back itself is a big question, I wonder whether "pajamas" are the real concern anyway :-p. Sometimes I can't believe its been more than 8 years since I've been here. Never thought that I'd be here more than 2 years. We're still infected with the one-leg-on-shore while another-on-the-boat syndrome as of now :-\.

And sometimes I feel we ought to pack up and move to Europe or Australia or some other place than India. Because I have realized that there's nothing like living in a totally different country to give you a whole new perspective on life. And the travel we'd get to do, would be a bonus ofcourse :). But, no plans of introducing yet another boat/shore to the mix right now ;-).

Empathy..

I was visiting one of my favourite facebook photography page yesterday and I saw a picture of bats (the animals). It reminded me of something that happened years ago.

I must have been around 10 years old or maybe younger than that when one day my parents found a baby bat lying on the ground at the back of our house. It seemed that the bat had hurt one of its wings. I remember feeling very sad for the bat, I really thought it was going to die. Yet, I slowly picked it up and made a cave-like shelter using our batte-ogeyo kallu (cloths washing structure that's usually found in India) and slowly put it inside. I kept some water for it (I didn't know whether bats drank water - Google tells me they do :-D). I even got a cockroach that was killed in the house and put it inside the "cave". Again, I didn't know whether bats ate cockroaches (Google tells me they do! Yay!), but I was happy that the next the cockroach was gone and there were only a couple of its wings found. For all I knew the cockroach might run for its life :-p. I used to visit it everyday and even slowly stroke its small furry head. Then after about 5 days or so, when I visited one morning, it was gone. The younger positive self that I was, was very happy that it had recovered and had flown of. The older negative me does wonder whether it was eaten by a bird or something :-p.

This is not one instance such a thing has happened with me. There was a time when I found a dead butterfly in the garden and I was so sad for its death that I made a grave for it by digging a hole in the garden and I think I even made an epitaph like thing for it. I used to visit its grave every day and "pay my respects". Yes, I was weird :-p. And then there was this huge caterpillar living on our jasmine plant who I used to love. I hate worms of all kinds and they give me the heebie-jeebies. But somehow this caterpillar was different - it was a beautiful green in color and had these 5-6 yellow-orange eye-like spots on its body and was so soft to touch. One day it vanished and I didn't see its pupa anywhere. But I was positive that it had turned into this beautiful colorful butterfly and was "happy" somewhere :).

I don't really know what I want to say in this post, just that I've always felt empathy with the oddest of creatures. To this day, if I see a spider/fly/even ant inside the home, I try to gather it and leave it outside. The only exceptions to this sympathy are mosquitos and cockroaches :-p. Those need something more than sympathy and empathy :-D.

Content..

Yesterday Sri and I were lying on our stomachs on the carpet while Snugli and Sunny climbed all over us plying us with hugs and kisses. At that moment, I felt happy. I didn't have a care in the world. I'm sure I sound facetious, but I really don't care that many others have more money than me or that other women have a better career than me. I can afford to be generous because life has been good to me. I am content :).

Andddddddddddd I'm back baby :).