Two sides to a pendulum..

It always has to do it. Swing from one side to another. Once it reaches one side, it probably feels I'm not happy here and I want to be at the other side. Off it goes. The other side reached, it feels no I want to go back. Its never ending. Life's like that! There always has to be a side we want to reach to be happy. Once we reach there, we have some other thing bothering us...

This weekend is my parents-in-law's new house gruha pravesha in Hyderabad. Had we been in India, we'd have already planned our leaves and maybe even would have already been in Hyderabad by this time. Oh the celebration it would have been. The hungama, the confusion about simple things, which saree to wear, the things to help out in, the shifting, it would have been marvellous. As a first big function from Sriram's side, I'd have treated my parents like guests, hurrying here and there and what not! Not that it won't be a great function without us there, its just that I'd have oh-so-much loved to be there..

I obviously feel sad for myself. As a newly married couple, we'd have still been subjected to some teasing. But that's not what I'm gonna miss. All of Sriram's side of relatives are a bunch of fun. I enjoy being with them and thats what I am going to miss. Very badly. I am going to miss each and everything..

I feel sad for Sri. It probably bothers him more that he's not with his parents at this time, but the poor guy has to be brave for my sake. He not only has to deal with missing the function but with me too, as I keep making a fuss that he made me miss my first big function after marriage. Its not true ofcourse. Its just the circumstances. But I have to have somebody at who I can point my finger :(. And bechaara Sri gets it. Honestly, had it been my parents' gruha pravesha, I'd have been uncontrollable . So I do know what Sri must be going through. Poor guy :(.

I feel sad for Amma (Sri's mother). When she told us about the gruha pravesha, I still remember her hopeful voice asking her son whether they'll come back for the function. And I remember the disappointment in her voice when her son replied in a negative way. My mom told me that amma was even telling her that maybe her son and daughter-in-law will land in Hyderabad unannounced and surprise them. I feel extremely sad for the woman who hopes that her son will surprise her when she knows that he won't. Amma, I'm really sorry :(.

I feel sad for daddy (Sri's father), who yesterday, told us that he's deeply disappointed that we are not gonna be there. I've never seen or heard him speak like that. He even said to Sri, "Your Amma cries and controls her emotions, but you know I'm not like that. But I want to let you know that I'm disappointed". But daddy, you know what? We both are lots and lots more disappointed than all of you. Because we are here alone...

I feel sad for my mom and dad who will be on the train to Hyderabad now. It must feel really bad to be attending their daughter's main function, when she's not going to be there. Not that they mind it, they really want to attend. But I wish I was there to boss over them ;-). Sigh!! :((

But among all these, I also know that we have our own gruhapravesha scheduled sometime early next year, when we'll be going back to India. Obviously we have to be there ;-). Then I'll enjoy the same hungaama, same confusions and the company of both sides of relatives. This is the reassurance we both give each other. Thats gonna be some function :). I am smiling already thinking about it :).

We are going to be out of town this weekend, just because I told Sri I won't be able to bear it if I'm at home and am continously thinking about it. Maybe, he wants to getaway too. We are going to Pittsburgh to visit the earliest and the biggest Indian temple in US. Yup, my next post will surely be on that.

Amma and daddy, congratulations on your new home and hope the home will see many happy times, with all of us together. Hope you have a great function and everything goes great and just right :).

Am I dreaming?

Sorry for being missing for almost a week. It looks like I'm facing blogger's block. Just couldn't come up with a topic to blog about. Yup, I thought, thought and thought. But still couldn't :-D. Looks like if you are desperate, then the topic never comes to you. Today morning, I didn't even have to think blog, when this topic came to me :). That was when I had this dream.

I have had weird dreams since I don't know when. Some of the recent ones I remember go like this:

Someone rings my doorbell. I open the door to see an ex-colleague of mine standing in bandages. His whole mid-section is covered by some stainless steel stuff like a robot. Same with his jaw. I am horrified!!

I really don't remember what happened next. Thankfully!

Sri and I are at a party. Its in this huge house which looks very very old. Like one of these haunted houses they show in movies. The dinner is a buffet affair. Sri finishes filling his plate with food and wanders off. I go searching for him after I fill mine up. I look for him in each and every room, but am not able to find him. I am worried. Suddenly the house starts crumbling as though there's an earthquake. I jump broken staircases with my plate full of food in hand. I go around the house. But I just am not able to find him...

I woke up in a sweat after this one. Another scary one was as follows:

Mom, Dad, Darsh, Sri and me are in a group of buildings, but we are all separately moving and not together. Suddenly somebody blasts dynamites in the buildings. Nothing happens to me, but I can't find anyone else. I am scared. I remember mom has a mobile and I call her up to find that she's ok too. I find some people who are helping out to rescue hurt people and I join them. I find my dad under some rubbles. He's ok but for a deep gash on his forehead. I rush him to the hospital and call mom and inform her. I return to the rescue, only to find that Darsh is also helping out. He's alright too. The only person I'm not able to find is my Sri...

I wake up scared again and find Sri right next to me, sleeping like a child. You can't believe how relieved I was!!

I am running. From a group of thugs. It seems they know of my intention to kill the king. So they obviously want to kill me!! I run into a temple and meet an accomplice. We both threaten the poojari and ask him to hide us or else!! And we hide. But the poojari is a brave one and he tells the king, who has just stepped into the temple. At this point, me and my accomplice reveal ourselves and I'm surprised to notice that the queen is none other than a lady who had supported me in dire times. I feel remorse for having thoughts of killing her husband...

God!! The worst thing about this whole dream was that most of the people around me were Telugu cinema actors!! Looks like this one is the result of watching too many telugu movies and the credit obviously goes to my hubby Sri :-p.

The next dream is from today morning, the great one which influenced me to writing this post ;-). Its actually about "Nach Baliye" a show on Star One, that we have been watching after downloading episodes available on the net. Its about celebrity couples dancing in a competition :-D.

I am in the competition of Nach Baliye. All the couples are fighting among themselves and each other. They call Poonam and Manish to dance. Poonam dances alone. She then gives a movie flashback of how her husband tried to jump over a fence and stumbled and fell in the process. Archana and Parmeet are fighting with someone. I am tired of the whole thing and want to get away. I pull Sri along with me for ice cream. We get into an auto and the auto driver simply seems to read my mind. He takes us to an ice cream shop and refuses to take the fare from us!! I get into the shop only to find I'm back in the competition place. There's bhel puri, pani puri and all sort of chat items everywhere and people are just gorging on them. I get into a room to find ice cream and see the ice cream freezer. It has Kwality Walls written on it. I start searching the freezer for my favourite kind of ice cream - Feast. Suddenly I have children surrounding me. One asks for little car-shaped ice creams. I get it for the child. All children grab their favourite types and go. I am still searching...

This was when I woke up!! Wonder what to make of this!! Never seen small car-shaped ice creams in my life before, nor have I heard of them! If I tell Sri about such dreams, his comment is "You have had too much sleep" :-p. Yup, I know that dreams are sort of based upon what you are thinking about before you sleep. Yesterday I was talking to a friend about missing bhel puri here in US. And later Sri also made some for me :) (His bhel puri is copy-righted :-D). And yup, I was trying to download this week's episode of Nach Baliye too :). So yup, I can understand that this may be the reason I dreamt of the combination.

But sometimes dreams are very difficult to relate to. Like this recurring one I have had about snakes. I don't remember the plot (:-D), I only remember that there are snakes, lots of snakes in it. Its not that I'm afraid of a snake (I mean I'm not afraid of a single snake, but a group of snakes around me is something else!!) or have I ever had an encounter with one (except the poor ones in zoo cages ofcourse :-p and some weird-coloured ones during one of my treks in India). And the snakes have never bit me in any of the dreams nor in real life, thank God for that! Also, some of you may know that dreaming about snakes also has a superstition associated with it, I think its considered lucky :-D. If so, looks like I'm very lucky :-p :-D.

I know there are people like to interpret dreams in different ways. If I tell my killing-the-king dream to anyone, they'll probably think I have violent tendencies and probably might kill someone :-o. They might even stay away from me. Looks like a very good idea to get rid of some people ;-). Future terrorist anyone? :-D. Oops, I think I was not supposed to write that particular word, these Americans seem to be arresting anyone who even says that one :-p. All I want to say is that I don't want my dreams interpreted, thank you very much :-p.

Some years back, my cousin Dineshanna, talked about an even weirder concept - Lucid dreaming or Controlling dreams!! He thought we could really do it, just follow some steps regularly in the time that you are awake and you can actually find out the time you are dreaming and control what you want to do then. One of the simplest things is supposed to be seeing the time on your wrist watch on an hourly basis. If you do it regularly for a few days, then your subconscious will start aping you and you will try to see your wrist watch in your dream too!! And if the watch is showing some time not related to your surroundings, or the watch itself is not there, or there's something else sitting on your wrist, then you know you are in a dream!! Sorry, I can't confirm it as I never tried it ;-). I don't know whether Dineshanna did either. Another concept is supposedly to practise switching lights on and off whenever you enter any room. Again, you try to switch on/off a light in your dream and nothing happens, that's when you know you are in a dream. Once you know, the possibilities are supposed to be unlimited. I even remember Dineshanna talking about a dream diary and noting down your dreams at whatever time you are jolted awake at night/morning. Well, I was fascinated, but being an young girl of 12-14 who was more interested in romance novels than dreams, never had the patience to execute it :-D.

If you think the whole lucid dreaming thing is interesting, then you may be interested in this website - Dream Views. They talk in detail about the whole thing. But I have to post a disclaimer here. I am NOT responsible if you end up doing some circus in your dreams :-D.

Ok that's enough blogging for one morning. Now where's my coffee? Oh, gotta prepare it myself. Maybe I should have had coffee in my dream. Would have saved a bit of time ;-).

Then we met.....

Yup another poem. This time a very simple one to say how grateful I am to have Sri in my life. Last year, same day i.e 13th November 2004, almost at the same time (Its about 6:30 to 7:00 PM in India now), I met Sri for the first time. Ours was a typical arranged marriage and he came to "see" me :-D. Now he has to see me everyday whether he wants to or not :-p :-D. The great man asked me questions per questions and said yes to his parents immediately after departing from my house!! I remember being stumped as I hadn't even decided whether to say Yes or No!! I took about a week, met him again after a week and later said Yes. So the equation is

His impulsive decision = My thought-out decision
==> A bakra and a bakri were trapped together 3 months later :-D

Hehehee. This poem is dedicated to my Sriram and all the joy he has brought into my life :).

Then we met....




Was it only an year ago
That I didn't even know you?
Then we met and life changed,
As if it was always meant to.

I was confused, lonely and
Searching for a soul mate.
Then we met and it was as though
A surprising turn around of fate.

I admit now that at first
I was fully apprehensive..
Then we met again and simply
Was I no more ever pensive..

I knew you were the one
and a decision was made.
Then we met again and again
And later vows were said..

Now I'm glad, so happy
That we are man and wife.
Then we met, now we are bound
Together with love for life..

Then we met and the rest is history.. Oops, err, the rest is the present and the future we have together :).

My Memoirs...

My Memoirs..

I was born, not too long ago
In the beginning of spring..
Everyone around me would quip
"Isn't she a dainty little thing?"

My friends and I swayed
And played in the warm breeze.
People called us cute and lovely.
Life was moving with so much ease..

We slowly grew strong and healthy,
In the warmth of the summer sun.
Little ones becoming bigger,
Growing together was a lot of fun!!

I enjoyed the early raindrops
the drizzles and the heavy rains..
We stood strong and faced storms,
Withstood tornadoes and hurricanes..

But later I became discoloured,
Red sometimes and other times yellow.
Standing strong was in the past,
I started becoming shaky and mellow.

Now as I lie on my death bed of grass,
I honestly feel no traces of grief..
Young ones will grow again next spring,
After all, I'm just another leaf...

Save me from daylight saving :-p

Just a few months back, when I wrote the Hmm Dis I Like post, one of my friends Soum quipped about my disliking the sunset at 9 PM and said "Just wait until its winter". God, you were so right yaar!! Just last week the sun had started to rise at about 7 AM and set at about 6:30 PM. I thought it was just right. Then these Americans had to do it. The daylight saving ended and the time got advanced by 1 hour. Now the sun rises at 6 AM, but sets at bloody 5:30 PM!!! Have you ever heard of total darkness at 6 PM in the evening?? If you haven't, you are hearing it now :-p.

Daylight saving does have a good purpose.

"Daylight Saving Time "makes" the sun "set" one hour later and therefore reduces the period between sunset and bedtime by one hour. This means that less electricity would be used for lighting and appliances late in the day."

And it is usually from the first sunday of April to the last sunday of October. If you are interested, more details are here. The problem is not when the daylight saving is implemented (Yeah, yeah, I did crib about the 9 PM sunset :-p), but when it ends. Its a sudden change. It seems life all around you is going on like it was but you have advanced an hour. In 2 words, it feels like "Jet lag" :-p.

Since sunday (that's when day light saving ended), its been bad. I don't feel sleepy at the right time, but I feel sleepy when I'm not supposed to. In total, I feel like I'm just not getting enough sleep :(. Sri even says that he feels hungry at odd hours!! Yeah I am getting slowly adjusted to the change, but I can't help but crib about it. After all that's what my blog is for ;-).

Sri tells me its only going to get worse. Come winter, its gonna be dark throughout. I am sorta worried about my work more than anything else. I work from home and the only place in our house which has tubelights is the kitchen. I can't put the computer table in the kitchen. The hall has only bulbs, which do not provide sufficient light. So, obviously need to work a way to get light into my home ;-). We are planning to buy a couple of fluorescent lights in the near future...

But its still a beautiful world. There's fall everywhere, but the leaves have already started falling. Reminds me of the beautiful Louis Armstrong song "What A Wonderful World". You really got to listen to it, if you haven't heard it yet. You can listen to it online here.

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

One wonderful song that makes me feel good to be alive :). No matter what, daylight saving or not!! :-D :-D :-D