Like Duck to Water, thats how I have taken to life :). This blog is the saga of love and adventures of a small duck in a large water body called LIFE....

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Friday, April 15, 2005

Ode to a little one :(

Just heard some sad news yesterday. One of my best friends, lost her baby girl after full term. It seems the umblical chord twisted around the baby's neck and strangulated her :( This, despite regular check-ups with the doc!! That's why wise men say life's not in our hands :( I called her up to ask her how the pregnancy was progressing (her due date was somewhere around next week) and she broke down on the phone. I was shell-shocked! We are a group of 4 and Habee was the first in the group to get married. When she told us about the pregnancy, my comment was "Hey your kid will be the eldest of all our kids" and I remember her radiant smile full of pride and joy. On the phone, I didn't know what to say to her. No matter what I said, it definitely won't reduce the pain she is facing this moment.

Imagine the plight of the parents in such a situation - the plans they'd have made in the 9 months, all the things they'd have bought, their hopes and dreams, their aspirations for the child, espescially their longing to hold their child in their arms...

Habee had a valid question - "Why did God give me a child if He wanted to take it away?". The question stuck like an arrow to my heart. Why this unfairness? I can't even reassure her with my standard dialogue of all time - "All that happens, happens for the good". I really can't see what good might come out of this! Maybe something will but as of now, I feel so angry at the loss. But que sera sera.

This post is a dedication to the little girl whom my future kids should have considered their big sister, but whom neither they, nor I will never know. Its not often that I write poems but this one goes out to Habee, who'll probably never read this, may you find peace my beloved friend..

A mother's woe

When I first came to know of you
I shouted my joy to the skies
Who ever knew this would happen
Little one, you never opened your eyes.

Your dad bought a beautiful crib
I bought little clothes of your size
Grandparents decorated your room, but
Little one, you never opened your eyes.

You were the answer to our prayers
You were a blessing in disguise
I know not why everything went wrong
Little one, you never opened your eyes.

I will never hear your happy gurgles
I will never hear your wails or cries
You have left my heart and soul empty
Little one, you never opened your eyes.

Rest in peace my little one
It hurts a lot when a loved one dies
Time will heal, but I'm crying now, cause
Little one, you never opened your eyes.


alone in my dreams retorted...

I am expecting my first baby this May end. this post has upset me more than I would like to acknowledge.

Deeps retorted...

I am really sorry for that :-|Hope everything goes well for you..

wise donkey retorted...

well i lost my first child. till then everything seemed too good to be true. i did have pains from 2nd month onwards and everythin from appendicits to what not were explored and 7th month hospitalised. and then a diagnosis on baby with TGA. simply put, the good blood goes back to lungs and bad blood to body and 2 artries had to be cut & open heart surgery immly after birth blah blah . 2 cut story short, the kid didnt recover from surgery. i had till then thought bein good enough to get good even if it meant being uncool. and later had a miscarriage and therefore even now recommened with a doctor or a temple for the baby by everyone:)
and funnily they would never think i would need counselling or will be depressed.

even 2day morn was thinkin on this so sorry for the long comment. just tell her that God gives her what she needs, and it need not be what she wants.

after all imagine takin a kid to dr and gettin injection. the kid would think the dr and parents are its enemies. but doesnt realise that its essential.

it would be wonderful if we everyone could get what they want, if 24000 dont die Everyday due to hunger, when a mother in India doesnt die every 5 minutes due to childbirth... guess i can go on...

tell her there is more to her life than just being a person who lost her child. ask her to be positive, tell her u will be there for her..and sooner or later she will get the best and also that some stranger is prayin for her :)

wise donkey retorted...

wonderful lines deeps, very touching:)

Amit retorted...

Am just dumb struck after reading your post. There are two more hands which are joined Deep and praying for your friend. Just wonder sometimes why does life have to behave the way it behaves. Y cant God keep things simple...Y cant be everybody happy...But then somebody might say what is charm of life then...I am sorry but this is no way to keep the charm of the life...Right...

Deeps retorted...

Gaya, it was sad to read about your experience. Maybe God thinks its good, but its so unfair :((

Went to meet Habee on Saturday. It was as is I was being pulled to see her. She is looking so dull and sort of lifeless. But I guess the loss does that to you. I told her, I'd probably have gone mad in her situation! We talked for sometime and she even smiled a couple of times which was very reassuring :) May God grant her the strength to get over it..

They say every woman has a mother in her. Probably the mother in me couldn't handle the news and the lines of the poem poured out...