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4 years ago I made this collage into a T-shirt for Sri's birthday..
Now its Sunny's turn..
How quickly the years are going by. This is the 7th year I'm celebrating Sri's birthday with him and there are times I wonder where the time went. I guess you don't see time when you are having fun ;-).
Happy birthday Sri :). Love you lots :)).
Things have been crazy since we have been back from India. For one thing, the mom part of me has completely taken over my life. I just don't get any time for myself, so the blog has sadly been neglected. I have all these ideas I want to write about, but I never ever get the time. When I do have a few free moments, I'd rather laze around rather than start typing. Poor Sunny hasn't even had a post of her own yet. And there are so many things happening each day and I am regretting not noting down each and every thing like I did with Snugli. But I am determined to get back to writing soon. Meanwhile, I feel frustrated, angry and stressed out most days. There are bright days now and then, but all the other days are passing in a haze and I don't even know what to about it. I feel like taking a break, but there is no break for a mom from her children and ain't that the truth!
Well, its sad that I couldn't even jot down a post on Snugli's birthday. We didn't celebrate it very grandly this time. She did have a party at school and we did take her to an indoor kids play area (where she enjoyed to the maximum) and her favourite restaurant for dinner. But I just didn't have it in me, to plan another party outside and arrange things. I still feel a little guilty over that, but she had fun and thats that. Oh man, she's 4 already and I wish all the time that I had a pause button to life, sigh.
On a sad note, one of my good friends passed away last week and so the past week has been depressing for me. She was sick with a rare disease and suffered a lot in the past month, but we never expected that it would take her life. I was fortunate enough to spend a weekend with her in September when she came to visit us here. I keep remembering little things about her and it keeps getting to me now and then. We expect death at ages lot older than ours and imagine that we'll have all our friends till the ends of our own lives, so it becomes very difficult to accept it that she died at 32, she had a lot of spirit and lot more in her. I hope she's in a much better place and is happy and at rest finally. You know what I have realized from all this? Her life is no more, but our lives go on, they have to go on..
To put a positive end to this post, I did get my macro lens finally - Canon 100mm f2.8 macro and I'm glad that I haven't let go of photography completely, despite all my "troubles". Have some pics uploaded on my facebook photography page in case you are interested. Here's a recent one:
And so, to summarize, 2011 brought me a dear daughter and took away a good friend. It also brought me my first silver hair ;-) (sounds better than gray or white and I'm sticking with it :-p). The year has been a mix of gains and losses, easy and tough times, tears and laughter, basically life going on in all its glory. There's still much more to see, many more things to do and hope 2012 has ample opportunities :-).
The end of the world is coming folks ;-) :-D. 2012 is here! Wish you and your loved ones a very happy and prosperous new year :-).
The facade...
Days beckon with
infinite drive.
Nights sink tired;
Crash dive.
The body dances
the daily grind..
The mind droops,
feeling confined..
The inside me wants
to cut and run..
The outside me has
worries none.
Uncertainty questions
"Am I really needed?"
Confidence prevails,
all doubts receded.
Behind a joyous mask
sadness taunts..
Behind a brave facade
vulnerability haunts..
Sorry to have vanished from the face of earth for more than a month, but as you can guess things have been crazy busy for me. What you cannot guess is that we had been to India for a 5 week "vacation" :-D. We obviously celebrated Sunny's Naamakarana and Annapraashana there, so there were the usual functions, get-togethers and travels to and fro amidst ill-healths that spread from one person to another. Right now we are back in US and I am getting adjusted to a routine with 2 kids. Snugli will be off to school from next week, so things should be a lot more easier. I have so much to write but the stories will have to unfold quite slowly. Meanwhile to tide things over, its Snugli story time :).
While we were in India, Snugli was introduced to a concept she was quite unaware of here in the US - MONEY, thanks to all the relatives who gave rupee notes to her as gifts (she knew "cents" because thats what makes her favourite machine horse run, but not about notes).
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It all started when Snugli's great-grand mother (Sri's mother's mother) gave her Rs 500. She immediately grabbed it claiming it to be "my money".
Sri somehow convinced her to give it to him, but the next day she went and asked him for "her money". Since he had already spent it on something, he thought he could con her with a Rs.10 note. Her response?
"This note says 10. My note said five zero zero. This is not my money. Give me my money!"
Baap re!
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She soon got used to getting these 500s. After a get-together in Bangalore, we were looking at all the gifts when she claimed that one of the money envelopes was hers. She opened it to discover a Rs.100 note. She says -
"Ellaru 500 rupees kottaru, ivaru yaake 100 kottiddaare?" ("Everyone gave 500 rupees, why have these people given 100?")
God! I'm very thankful that that particular person was nowhere near to hear that statement!
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One day we were invited to an arshina-kumkuma, to which I took Sunny and Snugli along. Since they saw Sunny for the first time, as usually is the custom, they gave her a Rs.100 note. Snugli immediately cries -
"Where is my money!!!"
I could only shut her up by handing over the note that they had given Sunny. I wonder what will happen when Sunny becomes aware of "money" - I can already imagine a tug-of-war over a 100 rupee note :-D.
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There were many times where she wanted to hold her money while we were in India. While all the above instances were sort of embarrassing for us, what happened today was sweet to the extreme. Since we have been back, Snugli has very obviously been missing her grandparents and Bangalore as such. Today she saw a plane and this conversation happened -
Snugli: "Lets catch a flight and go to Bangalore"
Me: "Sorry we can't sweetheart. We'll go there next year"
Snugli: "Why?"
Me: "Because we don't have so much money to spend."
Snugli: "Don't worry. I have lots of money. Many 500 rupees to buy tickets."
Wish we could honey, wish we could :-\.
Oh joy!
In the earth so green,
That it hurts the eye.
In the deep blue wrap
Shrouding the silky sky..
In wings that fly outside,
Chirping and singing..
In children that play inside,
Their giggles ringing..
In the melliferous voice
Riding the radio waves..
In gurgling waterfalls,
Tall mountains, cold caves..
In colours of flowers
Be it bluebells or daffodils..
In colours of dawn or dusk..
In warmths and in chills..
In the crimson sun,
that bids stars goodbyes..
In the velvety night's
Soft whispers and sighs
Happiness lurks
At every corner and nook.
All you have to know
Is just where to look.
Spent early morning sitting on a park bench near a misty pond, surrounded by ducks of all shapes, sizes and colours with fresh dew on the grass under my feet and quacks ringing loudly in my ears. It was peaceful :).
