Forms of loneliness :(

Some times you feel absolutely alone in a crowd..

Man, have you ever felt that way? I have, so many times. It feels awful as if no one cares about you anymore, no one cares whether you are alive, as if you are just not there. What the heck am I talking about!! The "alone in a crowd" thing happens not because of the people in the crowd. If you are feeling it, then its you who's the problem. Human mind is a very strange thing. Imagine the complexity of it! You FEEL sad or happy, lonely or crowded, panicky or strong, scared or brave and its all in your mind! Wish there were buttons for them all ;-) Press one and wham, a smile appears :-D Would have been great na? Anyways I was talking about loneliness. Look at the following piece of lyrics from a ghazal sung by Ghulam Ali - "Kuch din to baso meri":

Mein tanha tha
Mein tanha huun
Tum aao toh kya
Na aao toh kya!!

My! I was alone, I am alone, what difference does it make whether you come or you don't? Sounds depressing, doesn't it? But the full song is not that depressing. The song's here at Raaga, listen to it if you can. That's one beautiful song :) To tell you the truth, I have felt this way sometimes. It is an extremely sad feeling and it feels as if the loneliness is gonnu kill you. Its as if you need someone but the one around you is just not enough...

Other times, there is just a person around you and you don't feel so lonely anymore. Though you both may not be speaking to each other, you both maybe doing your own things, yet you feel contented just by the fact that somebody's there. You know that some body who cares is near you, whenever you want him/her and you are glad just by that fact. Unbelievable but true..

There are yet other times when you long to be alone, to get away from it all and people seem to be hell bent on being with you. They get on your nerves and you go "aaaaaaaaaargh!!!". You wish you could just get on a plane or something and leave. Go where? Even you won't know the answer to that! Which is precisely why I said human mind is a strange thing! In this case, you actually feel glad if you are alone. You are absolutely divinely happy even if you are not doing anything as such. Weirrrrrrrrd!!!

So why am I talking about this now? I am in my office right now and there is a whole crowd of colleagues making all sorts of noises around me. But I am lonely. I'm so lonely without Sri :( Can't even call him up whenever I want and bug him as he's so far away from me :( My parents try to be with me all the time so that I don't brood. Darsh keeps pulling me along to watch videos and movies with him. But I still miss Sri. There just seems to be no medicine for that :( Right now, my blog is the only company for my loneliness. I know that sounds pathetic but that's the reality :(

Listening to: Baby when you're gone by Bryan Adams & Melanie C :(((

"Baby when you're gone,
I realize I'm in love
Days go on and on,
And the nights just seem so long
Even food don't taste that good,
Drink ain't doing what it should
Things just feel so wrong,
Baby when you're gone"