Like Duck to Water, thats how I have taken to life :). This blog is the saga of love and adventures of a small duck in a large water body called LIFE....

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

9th month and beyond..


I'm standing (more like sitting :-D) at the threshold of a 9 month long wait and I have literally lost track of the feelings fluctuating in me. I am feeling so many things all at once that I just had to record them in a post. I don't know whether I'll ever feel like this again or whether I want to. Its a mixture of elation and apprehension, of excitement and terror, of love and panic, of what not!

One part of me is really scared. Yes, I have attended childbirth classes and read all material thats available about labour and delivery. I know theoretically what happens. But I'm frightened about the practicality. I know its natural and many women have gone through it before me. But they don't call it the most difficult time of a woman's life for nothing. I can only cross my fingers and hope that when the time comes, I'll face it with the high spirit that I have faced any adventure with..

Another part I'm scared about is handling the baby. I recently attended a baby boot camp class in which we were told about how to take care of the baby, how to recognize the cries, how to bathe the baby, how to hold it, change the diapers etc, and all the while I had only one thought in my mind - whether I'll be able to do it all :-\. I know I have help around, but I am petrified about having a new person around thats completely going to be dependent on me. Right now, the baby is a weight in my stomach recognized by a set of kicks and a heart beat at the doc's office. But in a few days, it'll be a squirming, crying small life in my hands. Sometimes I think, oh what the heck, I can do it. Other times I'm just not so sure..

Sometimes I feel really relieved. I mean, 8 months have gone like a dream. Except for a few pains and aches, the baby has hardly given me any problems (oops, maybe I shouldn't put this on my blog, where my child can read it in future :-D). There have been some worries and frustrations, but these have been self-induced rather than something coming from the baby. So I cannot really crib saying "9 months of carrying and suffering" ;-). It been pretty much a smooth sail and I'm really grateful for that :).

Many a time I have rejoiced, enjoyed having a partner thats so supportive that it kinda makes me wonder whether I knew Sri would be like this when I married him. I'm sure most hubbies do things these days, but its been great having him rub my back for what seems like hours, supporting me when I have to get up from sitting, holding my hand or lending a supporting hand to my back when I'm walking, so on and so forth. There have been times when I have had severe cramps in my legs in the middle of the night and he has gotten up to massage them and consoled me when I have cried with pain. He has held me when I have felt frustrated and reassured me when I have had self-doubts. In short, I must have done something good to deserve such a man in my life. I'm very sure the baby is lucky to have a dad like that :).

There have been other times when I have wished whimsically for certain things. Especially when Sri asks me how it feels to have the baby kick inside. I've tried explaining it to him with everything from "it feels like when you ride a roller coaster" to "a small earthquake in my stomach" :-D to "Like how Jim Carrey swallows a bomb in The Mask and he has a small explosion in his stomach" , hehehe. But I know he doesn't "get it". He has been through this adventure with me the whole way, but it is certainly not like other adventures where in he has gotten to experience the whole thing himself. He sometimes looks at the ripples on my stomach with such wonder that I wish he could know how wonderful it is to feel the baby moving inside. Thats something I can never express adequately through words..

But above all these, I am happy. Though I have worries about taking care of the baby, its going to be wonderful to have the baby in my arms. To hold and see a smile. To see an awkward Sri nervously holding an infant (this piece of imagination is enough to bring a smile to my face through all worries :-D). I am happy to have my parents around for such an prominent phase in my life and I am really glad that things have worked out for the best. I guess there's nothing more important than that :). Ultimately a little spark of happiness is all that counts :).

Update 1: Thanks for all the advice ladies :). Yes, I am already considering epidural and will be going for it 75% (the remaining 25% is only for unforeseen circumstances :-D).

Update 2: Orchid has dedicated a sweet poem for me on her blog here saying

A fellow blogger is almost due
and how exciting it is too!
A new baby is always fun
atleast until they start to run!
Have fun, baby and you
Don't forget to include Sri too!
Here's sending your way
Warm wishes to make your day!


Thanks a lot Orchid. That means a lot :).

16 Comments:


Vanditha retorted...

Really cute post!! I enjoyed it


~nm retorted...

Such a lovely post. It reminded me of my pregnancy and I was smiling all through. :)


Deeps retorted...

Vandu,

Didn't really intend it to be cute :-D.

~nm,

Glad to bring back "those" memories again :).


Orchid retorted...

deepthi,
First, having been there myself I know exactly what you are going through!..but relax, enjoy what's left of your pregnancy!..
are you going for the epidural and have you bought a breast pump??..these are 2 things I would definitely recommend!
and ofcourse...the boot camps are all fine but nothing like the practical advise your mom will give you..and take me seriously when I say..listen to every single advise your mom gives..i did not and I regret it..I brushed off some as silly or not practical but believe me they know what they are talking about!


Orchid retorted...

deepthi,
btw, hop on over to my blog..i have something for you!


Archana retorted...

Hey,

I am sure you will be a great mommy. The kid is super lucky to have you and Sri as parents :-D!

Waiting to read the news about the new arrival soon :-)!


Chickoo retorted...

Deepthi,
As Orchid said listen to your mom, I pretty much managed my pregnancy and childbirth on my own and DH helped me a lot too. Relax, everything will be fine, I vote for epidural too.


Deeps retorted...

Orchid,

First of all thanks a lot, the poem and wishes were totally sweet :). I'm thinking of going for the epidural too and I'm mom's gal. So am already practicing saying Yes to whatever she says :).

Archana,

Thanks a lot :). Hopefully the baby will think so too ;-).

Deepa,

Yup to epidural and yup to mom :). Thanks maa'm :).


Timepass retorted...

Tagged


Fuzzylogic retorted...

Hopped over from Orchid's. Here's wishing you a happy and safe delivery. It's very natural to feel apprehensive at this stage but don't worry,relax and enjoy the last few days. It's the beginning of a very exciting new journey..so buckle up:):)


Timepass retorted...

read ur post on 8 quirks and left a comment.. thks


MUSER retorted...

Enjoy your pregnancy and forthcoming motherhood. Hope you have a safe delivery.When my kids were babies Spock's book was my bible. I don't know whether it still is the rage.Savour every bit of your momhood. Read my blog on my reactions when my daughter who is now 20 years old was just born.Good luck


Aditi's Album retorted...

Hi - Enjoy ur last few weeks and days of pregnancy.I'm sure u r having a whale of a time with your mom around to pamper you a lot and handle the kitchen and home as well. Good luck. May God bless you with a safe and speedy delivery.


Deeps retorted...

Timepass,

Got your comment, I have mail enabled comments, so get to know wherever anyone leaves one :).

Fuzzylogic,

Sorry for not replying earlier. Thanks a lot for the wishes and I know what you mean. I feel like I'm on the edge on a roller coaster and its about to go on the first "down" :-D.

Muser,

I have heard about Spock's. Right now "What to expect when you are expecting" is my bible. Once the delivery is done, probably will shift over to Spock's/"what to expect in the first year" :). Thanks a lot for the wishes :).

Aditi's mom,

Read your post on your delivery and it was fascinating. I hope I'll be able to write about mine soon ;-). Thanks :).


Vidhya Rajesh retorted...

Just hang in there Deepthi - soon your bundle of joy will be there with you ...
Waiting to hear the news :) - maybe you have delivered already :)

All the best ...


shubha retorted...

deepthi, its after ages i visited your blog to realise you were pregnant a bit too late. my apologies and congratulations!!

this post is soo touching, i could very well imagine what u went through and how supportive sri was.
for a minute, i got carried away, imagined being pregnant and oh it was a scary thought! thanx, enjoyed this blog, it is very inspiring ;)