A change in need is a change indeed..

Sometime ago, one of my friends wrote about change. It was about how we need to adapt ourselves to changes happening around us. But thats not the change I want to write about. And no, I'm not referring to change as in money either :-\. The change that I want to talk about is the change we undergo each day, the personal change in our beliefs, in our behaviour, in our activities depending on things that influence us.

As we grow up, we undergo many a change. A person might declare that she/he hasn't changed at all. But we all know that cannot be true. As kids, we are immature, we do not understand anything. But as we grow into adults, we start understanding many a thing, we start undergoing a major change - finding a point of view about the world, about everything in general and some things in particular. Adolescence is the part of life when we are most susceptible to change. I'm not talking about good/bad change here. Its where we each learn whats good/bad for us (your good might not be mine yet). But as we grow into adults, we almost get molded into a fixed point of view.

One situation is that a person is living with others and is open to change. Then there is a chance for argument and changing personal views if she/he thinks what the other person says is right. This is true in many marriages. Each person gets influenced by the other and hence grows up to some extent. As partners, they each learn to make adjustments which are not exactly compromises, but mutual agreements to keep things running smoothly. Usually the changes that happen are good - both the spouses learn to fine-tune their behaviour to make things better, if not ideal. This is mutually advantageous and generally leads to a higher level of compatibility and understanding.

Another situation is when a person changes too much to please others. She/he gets influenced too much which in turn leads to loss of individuality and dependence on others for each and every decision. Its as if they don't have an opinion of their own. Simple decisions become complicated and lead to discord, if not in others, in the person itself. And it gets worse when they want to do something which does not meet the approval of others (I don't mean bad habits or any wrongdoings here, but simple things like buying a cloth for oneself). They have to make excuses for the very same things they love doing and once did without any objections. The suffering becomes one-sided and that too because the person didn't have the strength or wasn't allowed to voice out her/his opinions in the beginning. This may or may not be in a marriage as such. The point is that too much of a change is also not good.

And then there are some, who are not willing to change whether they live with others or are completely alone. These people become set in their ways and start to think that they are always right. They want everything, everyone in the house behaving the way they want, despite daily seeing what the others are going through, the struggles. In the beginning there might be some opposition from others, but when the person does not heed their words, they gradually stop trying to change the person. Hence these kind of people become used to getting what they want and doing what they want, when they want. If such people live alone, then its natural for them to be unwilling to any kind of change. The problem occurs when these people come into contact with others, they try to implement their will in others' lives and end up hurting others as well as themselves. But the situation is worse if it is in a marriage, then it so happens that the compromise is only from one person while the other person is not making adjustments of any sort at all. There are troubles brewing where they shouldn't and there might even be some suppressed wants and feelings which might be boiling beneath the surface waiting to explode anytime. It is a bit better if its more of a I-do-my-thing-while-you-do-yours attitude i.e live and let live policy, but thats not usually the case.

I know this is a strange topic to suddenly crop up from nowhere. All the people in our lives fit into one of these categories. Thankfully most people in my world are in the first one, but there are a few littered in the second and third categories. But as an onlooker, I end up feeling helpless and desperate, not able to help/interfere in such people's lives. And "helpless and desperate" is not a good feeling. Whats worse is that sometimes such things happening in others' lives may somehow end up affecting ours and end up hurting us or hurting a person close to us. We just have to console ourselves and move on. There's no way we can help/change a person unless that person genuinely wants to change. And thats the trouble isn't it? We all want the world to be according to our view and what we don't realize is:

It takes all sorts to make a world - a proverb.

On the same note, I wanted to put this video here. Its one of my favourite songs and has one of the most haunting melodies. Its called "Mad World" by Gary Jules.

Thanks to YouTube and user orijimi for the video.

The lyrics aren't anything great, but I do love this part..

I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take.
When people run in circles,
Its a very very...

Mad world..
Mad world..

Great blogs of fire!

Recently I updated my blog roll. Had an external tool for it all this while. Its been sometime since Blogger came up with its own widget, but well, it always felt a bit too tedious to again add all those blogs from the beginning. But I have been wanting to do it for quite a while and once I decided to do it, I was done in half an hour. But thats not really what I want to talk about. As I entered the URLs of all those blogs, I noticed how many have been idle, how many haven't been updated for a long, long time. And it somehow made me sad :(.

I know I haven't been reading all the blogs. But it somehow feels like friends are slowly becoming busier and busier until they don't have any time for you at all. And I don't know most of these people. But it felt like we were fellow travelers on the same train or something. They were constant companions of mine whenever I needed them. The worse thing is that all these days they have been gone and I haven't even noticed! Guess I got "busy" too. But if you are still reading my blog (I know atleast a couple of friends are), I promise I'll pop in more often if you just return to writing a couple of sentences once in a while :). I did notice that one of them is back for now, which is wonderful.

All these make me more glad that somehow I have never given up blogging. 4 years ago, I started this blog as a possibility, a place to put in my thoughts and maybe a place that will help me sort out things. And it has been that and more. Its been 4 years of growing up with the blog and coming to terms with responsibilities. I know that even if I am busy, even if I have a 100 things to do. I'll somehow make the time, put the effort to type in a few words now and then. I don't ever want to give up. I'll always return and hopefully always have something to say.

Happy birthday dear blog :). Hope you have a wonderful year full of many memorable posts ahead :).

Snugster the twister!!

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Its been sometime since I talked to you, but you can't really have forgotten me. Don't tell me you have :((((. Its me, Snugster. I thought mom's been talking to you about me all this while. I'm a busy baby you see, don't have the time to sneak away from mom's ever-monitoring eyes and get my hands on the comp (I try! Believe me I try!!!).

Well, what if I tell you all the gory details on what I have been doing all these days, will you remember me then? Ok then :).

• I have got a mouth full of teeth now (all the better to bite you with, my dear ;-) :-D), total 10 teeth (mom adds "front 8 incissors and 2 upper molars"). I'm so proud. But I do get a vehement "No" whenever I try to bite mom or dad. They should be more happy for me, you know :-p.


• I walk all over the house now, so well, they keep watching me. I escape from their eyes now and then and get my hands on a few simple things or 2 (mom adds "Yup, computer, DVD player, phones, laptop etc are all simple things!"), but they don't encourage my exploring capabilities :(. I might be the new Magellan, you know ;-).


• They have even put a gate to the kitchen so that I can't get my hands on mom's plants (she kept them inside for the winter). You have to let a baby get her hands dirty, you know :-p. But I have to admit, whenever they do keep the gate open, I run straight to the places they don't want me to >:-).


• I talk now, talk a lot, but they don't understand me. I'm also sneaky, I say "Amma" "Naana" and several words whenever I want, but when they ask me to say something, I fool them by saying all the wrong words ;-) (please don't let them know and spoil my fun :-D).


• Other than these, I can switch the TV on and off using the remote now and I do it several times :)).


• I also pretend to press buttons and talk on the phone (I say "Ha" for hello :-D).


• I can close doors, but haven't yet discovered how to open them (mom adds "Now thats a blessing!"). So I love closing the doors of the pooja room.


• I also love laundry baskets, I overturn them all and distribute the clothes equally all over the house, but they don't appreciate my sense of interior decoration :-p.


• My major accomplishment these days is climbing sofas, hurray! I climb up to grab remote, phones, whatever they try to keep safe from me and I can get down whenever I want too!


• I can take my toys out of the toy-tote and put them in (the putting in part is only when mom insists I finish for the day and say "Good night" to each toy). But I hardly play with my toys, the house has many more interesting things ;-).


• You know my thumb-sucking habit? Mom's been trying to get rid of it by enclosing my hands in gloves. She thinks she is successful, hehehehe :)).


• What else? Mom started to potty train me, so I do most of peeing and pooping in the potty. Gross, you say? Hey, those are a major part of us babies' job profile :-p. But, well, mom will talk more on that.

I guess thats about it. I gotta run you know, a baby has a 1000 things to do. See ya!

P.S. Me the forgetful had forgotten to say a couple of things:

• I love breakfast these days - I get to eat chapathi (in milk), poori, idli and dosa, all the stuff that grown-ups eat. But on some days I still eat Cerelac, so those days whenever I see mom and dad eating something - I protest and want to eat that too (I do get a couple of bites ;-) :-D)


• The weather's slowly changing, so these days whenever its warm enough (as per the elders' decision), I get to go to park and play on swings/see-saw and slides. I lovvve the slide. I prefer playing in the mud and leaves there actually, but no one allows me to :(.

Thats about it. More updates only in my next post :-D.