Like Duck to Water, thats how I have taken to life :). This blog is the saga of love and adventures of a small duck in a large water body called LIFE....

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Saturday, January 21, 2006

A fork in the path...


How many of us believe in fate? I'm pretty sure many of us do. Its so good to believe that whatever we do is not controlled by us, but is all pre-determined, isn't it? Makes us feel a little bit irresponsible. You don't have to think too much about what you are doing and why you are doing it. Just go with the flow..

But what if there's no fate? What if the decisions you take each and every moment are changing something in the future? Yup I'm talking about chaos theory. So our destiny is purely controlled by our actions. A simple decision like today I'll go to market to buy vegetables, maybe changing my life drastically. Scary, isn't it?

Most of the times I do believe in fate. Its fate that I have parents like mine. Its fate that I have friends like I have. Its fate that I chose to study engineering. Its fate that Sriram came into my life. Its all fate :). But sometimes, just sometimes when I am taking a drastic step, I start wondering whether I am changing my life. I believe that all that happens, happens for the good (so in one way pushing all my decisions again on fate :-D), but when I can see a clear path that I could have gone on, thats when I wonder. What if I had taken that fork in the path instead of the one I'm going on...

This thought first came into my mind when I had decided to leave my first company for the second. My first company gave me a carrot of sending me onsite just when I was leaving. But my decision had been made to join the second. And that decision has turned out to be wonderful in many ways since then. But at that point, I could clearly see another path I could have taken i.e staying with the first company and going onsite. If I believe in fate, then I was meant to join the second company. But if, if by any chance, my destiny was in my hands, then I took a right decison which is still working out for me so well. What if I had made the wrong choice? Or was the other decision a wrong choice? Maybe my life would have been equally well then too. Who knows!!

Surprisingly I never felt the fork in the path when I married Sri. If you think about it, I could have not married him and my life could have gone in a totally different path. But I never thought of not marrying him. I never thought of the other path, so I believe its fate :-D. Some weird logic huh? :-D

Again, when Sri was offered a choice to come to U.S on a project, he asked me whether I was comfy with the whole thing. I just told him that whatever decision he takes would be fine with me. But again, I could feel the fork, where we could have stayed in India or could have come to U.S. Very strange, the way the mind works sometimes. But what if, I had stayed in India? Would I have been so close to Sri, like I am today? Now I know that I love my parents and miss them a lot. Had I been there, would I have been aware of some things that I am more aware of now? I don't know.

Ok, why did this topic come up suddenly now after all these days? Thats because we recently encountered another fork in the path. Since we came to US, our plan was for Sri to look for a job here. And 2 weeks ago, the job came and fell into his lap without him even making huge efforts. Do you call that fate? ;-) :-D. There's actually not much change. We'll continue to be here in Lexington, KY. So there's no house change either. Even if he had continued in his current company, we'd have been here in US for about 3 years and that plan hasn't changed. So why do I define it as a fork? Just because maybe, just maybe, had he continued in his current company, Sri might have been asked to do a project in Bangalore. Maybe we could have gone there and stayed there for some time. So many maybes {sighs}. Now its sure that we'll be here for 3 years. We are planning a vacation to Bangalore, but its not the same as going there for good :(.

The new job is a wonderful career move for Sri and yup, logically everything's turning out good. If its fate, its wonderful. Even if we are controlling our destiny, I know we are making the right choice. So why does the mind think about forks in the path etc? I guess sometimes we just need a reason to be unhappy. Probably one of human being's variables is always equal to not being content. Thats the way God's software works...

10 Comments:


Suds retorted...

Very well written post and congrats on Sri's new job. I wish this brings a lot of happiness to you both. I agree with you abt forks in life.. I have also thought about it.. Which moving to US, Changing Jobs, starting mba... Maybe more.. Luckily all the choices have been good. Enjoy...


Usha retorted...

I guess that is the challenge of life - constantly being presented with options and having to make choices. Sometimes we make the right ones and sometimes we don't but the latter make us wiser and stronger and that is how we grow and mature.
Wish you the very best on your latest choice!


Vanditha retorted...

First of all, congratulations to you and Sriram.

As Usha put it, I personally believe its more about making choices rather than fate. Of course, there are some things in life which are totally out of control, like you said having good parents, meeting a old friend in the mall etc and this might be fate.

However, most decisions we take are solely dependent on us with some help from our near and dear ones and we have the power to control it by measuring the pros and cons. For example, youngsters going for drug addiction, suicide etc(i know this is a very cruel example especially when u r so happy). Its a wrong decision they take at a weak moment. Can we say this is fate and go with the flow?

Its not that we cant come out of situations created by wrong decisions. Only thing is we should not crib it happened and wish it never happened. We should go ahead bcoz "If we do NO mistakes, we do nothing".


Deeps retorted...

>> Suds >>

Thanks, I guess you have to face the forks now and then and again :).

>> Usha >>

Yeah I agree. The post was never about whether the decision is wrong. Its just that the decision is taking me further away from my parents.. {Sigh}.

>> Vandu >>

Thanks and true.

I dunno when I did, but I decided that I'll never have any regrets about any decision I make. And that has held true for some years right now. The deciding not to have regrets part had one major advantage. I think and re-think about any decision I am making. I constantly ask myself "Am I going to have regrets after making this decision?", if the answer is yes, I don't go with the decision. If the answer is no, then yup :).

But here the problems are the side-effects of the major decision :(.


Vanditha retorted...

I understand your feelings of getting farther away from your parents. Thankfully, its a small small world and they are just a click away (however, it can never substitute the exhilirated feeling of being together).

Pearls are never found on the seashores. You need to dive deep down the dangerous ocean to find them. (Oh man!!! Thats so senti and dramatic). You, being a dare devil, and having a great partner in Sriram, should go for it. Ok..too much gyan.. I will cut it here :D


Unaiza Nasim retorted...

nice blog!


Deeps retorted...

>> Vandu >>

Yeah am thinking about scuba-diving. Stll haven't informed Sri of the plans ;-) :-D.

Seriously, we are very happy with the decision. And yup I'll be seeing my prents soon, so should be ok :).

>> Unaiza >>

Thanks a lot :).


Soumya retorted...

That's great...Congrats to Sriram & wish him luck...

Well, I think life's full of "what if"s...At every point, we always make a choice of whatever we feel the best is at that moment...I believe that, whatever we choose, we should stick by the decision no matter what the outcome...Completely agree with "will-I-regret-this-decision- later" philosophy...I do the same thing too...

It is also true that life has a way of bringing things to ur doorstep when u least expect it...So, fret not dear, take life as it comes and everything'll be fine...No matter which path of the fork u choose, there's always someting u leave behind...So, don't worry about what was left behind, enjoy the fruits of the path u took...Blade jaasthi aaithalva...I'll stop now...

What've u been up to after ur skiing adventure?? Sky diving anytime soon?? When r u going to Bangalore??


Harish Suryanarayana retorted...

Why Deeps ! You are starting to sound like me !!!! :) You are probably just homesick .


Deeps retorted...

>> Soum >>

Yup re, I am enjoying life as it comes and so far its been great. Its just the sadness I have about not seeing some loved ones from time to time..

>> Harish >>

I've been homesick since I've landed here in US. People say "Home is where the heart is", my heart is here, but my home, I still believe is in Bangalore :(.